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 Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 7:10 pm
awesome (:
ima post tomorrow guys, i'm half way.
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Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 3:33 pm
i know, i suck. but, ya know what sucks more than i? being sick.
i hate making excuses of wht i'm not posting, but i want y'all to know why i havn't. though, if it makes y'all feel better, i;m ot doing my school work either. (:
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Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 4:02 pm
So when are you going to post then?
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Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 5:36 pm
as soon as i feel better, and i never stay sick long.
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Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 9:24 pm
I feel guilty for insulting people. Let me say that I DO like all your characters and that Sierra...Sierra is a very snobby character. sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 9:49 pm
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Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:07 pm
Oh you guys actually started razz alright, time to think of a character biggrin
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Posted: Sun Nov 28, 2010 9:57 pm
.::Alice::.  b a s i c i n f o r m a t i o n Hello, My name is
I Have Been on this Earth for About
I am of the
I'm staying in dorm number
I'm currently enrolled in grade number
c o l o r m e p r e t t y
How I Normally Look
Alice has long strawberry blonde hair and bright hazel brown eyes. She's small in every way, only reaching five foot four when she has on shoes. She weighs just over one hundred pounds and has a decent body for a girl her age. Her biggest attribute is her smile, she still has dimples from when she was a baby. She looks much younger than she is and is most comfortable in sweatpants and a t-shirt.
Fairytale Appearance
Alice's look only changes a bit when she is a fairytale character. She wears a beautiful blue and white dress, and stockings. Her eyes shift to the color of green, instead of brown, and her hair is worn curly. She looks the same, just more girly, and beautiful.
y o u o u g h t t o k n o w
How I am
Alice Mae is shy and quiet. She tends to keep to herself, always thinking and trying to sort through all the problems she faces on her own. She doesn't do well with others, and tends to want what she can't have. She gets along better with boys, because girls consider her stuck up. She loves reading and photography. When she was smaller she won an award for her pictures, but after she stopped getting attention from her parents for her talents she dropped them. She's known to get depressed easily, and doesn't value her life. She tries very hard to fit in, however and does want to make friends and be happy.
Alice's biggest pet peeve are fake people. One of the main reasons she is shy is because she is unsure of herself, and doesn't want to be something she is not. She can't figure out who she wants to be, and this makes her constantly question herself in every way.
How I came to be
Alice Mae was raised in a house where she was always the number two child. She couldn't be seen behind the shining star her older sister was. Even though Alice was a straight A student, got a perfect score on her ACT as a Freshman, and was always very talented in school. Her sister was known for her looks, and Alice didn't compare. Therefore as Alice grew into her boyish body, she gave up on dating and focused on her academics. Because of this, Alice is very smart, almost too smart sometimes. She looks at everything from a logical viewpoint and doesn't try to have feeling with anything she does, because she is afraid of letting herself go.
s o m e o t h e r i n f o r m a t i o n
There's something else you ought to know
+Alice's biggest fear is love.
+Alice's biggest dream is to find love, and never let it go.
+Alice is afraid of who she is.
+Alice has never had a friend. .::Confusedgrl7::.
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Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 4:10 pm
So, I’m going to say this before I even begin to critique you, I am in a grouchy mood at the moment, and if anything I say comes off bitchy it is not a personal problem with you or your character, honestly I’m really happy to have someone else join our Roleplay.
Now, to be frank your character profile is all too vague. We get no sense of whom she is and there are no special quirks about her. You could pull off any girl in the sidewalk and she would seem just as your character. In order for you to write to the quality I’m asking for, you have to have a well sense of your character. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but that is what I require in order for you to be accepted.
Now, ways you can improve your character. If you look at my character Ayden, you get a sense of what I want. Now, I don’t expect that everyone would have that quality, nor so I require it to that standard (though, I believe that everyone I have accepted has the potential to reach that quality).
For appearance, you listed the basic things. Thin teenager, with strawberry blond hair, wearing sweat pants. That’s quite a few girls in the world. Adding more details distinguishes her, like Teenager, whom you should almost break in half, who wouldn’t look to bad in a bikini, which shows you she’s thin but attractive. Go in more detail with her hair; shoulder length, strawberry blonde, with bangs held secured by a bobby pin. What colors are her eyebrow’s, are they arched, flat, thin, bushy? what shape are her lips, are they thin, full, chapped, pink, liver-colored, what? What about her cheek bones? Are they hallow, high, defined? Jawbone, straight, set, curved, sharp? Neck, long like a giraffe, or stubby, is it thin, can you see veins? Her arms, are they gawky long, oddly short? Does she have man hands, or child hands? Or, are they perfectly normal? Are her fingers thin, fat, chubby, stubby? Does she wear rings, does she paint her nails a certain hue? Her legs, are they horribly long, or does she have to roll up her jeans because she’s quite petite? What shade is her skin tone? Does she have freckles? Scars? Tattoos? What style of clothing does she wear, all of the time, not just when she’s comfy. How does she do her hair? Be specific! We aren’t hiring a cast for a movie, so there’s no harm in going above and beyond in descriptions.
Now, to personality. This is the most important part of your character. I want her personality type, I want to know what irks her, what she believes in, who she is! That’s what personality involves. For instance, my personality type is loud, outgoing, and strongly opinionated, somewhat controlling (can’t you tell, lol) I’m a leader, and my personality reflects it. However, just saying that doesn’t show who I am! There are things that you just cannot tell from this, for instance, I’m a writer. You don’t get a writer from leader, but I have a very based writer personality, like I go in phases where I don’t like talking to people, where I just like watching people, seeing how they act. I try to figure people out, see their reasons behind things. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t have those traits mixed in with leadership personality. Then, there’s things that bother me, for instance I hate when people say “I don’t like fake people” that’s a cheap get out, because NOONE likes fake people (I only said that like that so I could get into the next part, please don’t take that personal, cause it sounded kind of rude. Sorry). Finally, go in depth. Again, I cannot think of a single person who likes people classified as ‘fake’. I mean, I dare you to give me a definite definition of a fake person that cannot be used any other way that isn’t so vague. You can say that she doesn’t like people who seem to change personalities around whomever they are with, or I don’t like people who are rude and snobby. The list goes on and on! I would also like to know what she likes, as in, can she leave without her iPod on hand? Does she have a TV show she just dies for? Can she draw, if so what does she like to draw? Things like that reveal more about a character than one can imagine. For instance, my favorite character Mitsukai is a painter, it shows she sees like in an artistic perspective, that she likes to record life around her, she likes to create things, and she likes to see the beauty in everything. I am a writer, therefore I am extremely observant, I have a large vocab for the most part, and I want my opinion to be heard throughout the world. Hmm, someone who really likes music likes to express themselves, they want to be in tune to their emotions, they want to create or hear something they consider to be beautiful.
Now, bio. This shows where she is coming from. If someone were raised in the ghetto, in poverty, it would explain their crime because they see in their mind that it’s the only way to survive. When you see someone who has been told they’re ugly for their whole life, they turn to eating disorders because they believe this can improve them, and they desperately see so. If there’s someone who makes mistake after mistake, they may see suicide as a way of protection. A man in love may go to murder to eliminate the person standing in the way, because in his mind its right. Perspective changes everything. Knowing someone’s story shows why they feel the way they do. Things from where they were born, to what radical thing happened in their life, all make a person who they are. No one has just a normal childhood, at least no one worth writing about. I mean, there’s no straight A student who had a seemingly perfect past is worth writing about, they all have their ghost (or, they are thrown into problems right away. I’ve only seen this work in series, and this isn’t a novel). Whether her and her father never got along, her parents divorced, she was bullied, she was too timid to make friends, her dog died, she was abused, whatever. It’s all something! Perspective makes the thing seem important to a person. I like to think of it like this, to a mouse humans are giant, to a giant humans are like mice. To a girl whose been abused her whole life, a dog dying is whatever. To a girl who’s had a seemingly perfect life, a dog dying is like the end of the world. Past problems are problems, and big or small, they shape who we are.
Now, I’m aware you brought out a demon, add onto it. Say where she was born, and by whom. Say how in home dad started showing favoritism. Say it as if you’re telling a sad short story, we want details, be specific! This isn’t about complaining about one problems, its telling her whole life (well, what’s important anyway, we don’t wanna know she had sex for the first time whenever, ales it was really really important to who she is now). Because, it’s always an addition of things that create a person, not one thing. So, this dad thing is a series of events, give us a few examples. The bios are so you have an developed character.
Now, the random stuff.
+Alice's biggest fear is love.
+Alice's biggest dream is to find love, and never let it go.
+Alice is afraid of who she is
All of those need to be in the personality thing, the friend thing needs to be in the bio. Tell us how she tried and failed to make real friends, tell us how it affected her. Though, are you sure you want to do this? Because, if you have a timid and shy friend who never had friends, she isn’t going to start making friends. You can say she never had many friends, and things like that. Because you HAVE to stick to your character’s personality.
I want you to have a well developed character, so you can write a well developed character.
Also, there is something really really important you left off. PLEASE reread the rules.
and dude, if my grammer teacher read this, i think i'd be in trouble.
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Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 4:32 pm
How many characters can I have?
heart Two? heart
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Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 4:43 pm
Yes, two. Both Shauna and I are making two characters.
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Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 4:50 pm
What story is the king of thieves from?
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Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 5:17 pm
I can't tell you off of the top of my head, but it should be listed under the 'boy oh boy' tab.
I know my other character is going to be the evil witch from The Little Mermaid, if you'd like to be someone from there.
And, we have Alice in Wonderland.
And, thats all that i can think of off the top of my head.
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Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 6:17 pm
The King of Thieves is from The Arabian Nights.
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Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 6:25 pm
What's his relation to Aladdin? Does he have one?
EDIT:
According to Disney, The King of Thieves is Aladdin's father. That's kind of lame because I wanted Aladdin to be the hero to your villain. So Who is the hero in your story Joker?
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Reply
