Born4TheLord
flyingemu27
Born4TheLord
I love it too
heart I wish I would have known about it sooner
biggrin you know what? Bannanas smell like the hair on a snake.
3nodding Are you for serious? This means my whole life has been a lie!!!
gonk I'll get that gorilla back, I swear. If it takes me the rest of my life to eat those jelly donuts, by gum I'll do it. I will stop at nothing to bring the gorilla to justice. How dare he pluck my mental violin of seclusion, and then this!
I konw right! The gorilla must be sentenced to spend the rest of his life smelling dog shoes! He has been conspiring against us this whole time
ninja pirate The cow is pretty bad too. tell us about the time he ate your uncle's plastic dog until it turned into a cat
Man, this has got to be one of THE best stories there is. Okay, So I have this uncle Stan (not really). Stan has a strange hobby, and that is collecting...plastic...animals. Yeah. He's a little strange, but anyways...He has collected hundreds of plastic animals - big and small, hairy and hairless, colorful and bland. Among all of these, the dogs are his favorite. You see, he always wanted a dog as a child, but his parents wouldn't let him...because they didn't want fur all over the place.
One day, he's walking in the park, and he sets his eyes on what he understood to be the most realistic looking plastic cow he had ever seen! It was so life-like it even seemed to move, breathe, and moo! Why, it almost didn't seem plastic at all! So he decided to steal it and add it to his collection. It was a great struggle trying to carry this plastic cow he had found. It was almost as if it weighed just as much as a real cow!
After three days he finally got it home. He took it and put it right next to his favorite plastic animal - the playful beagle. He thought that since the cow was so lifelike, he'd put it in an honorable place.
Since Stan had been gone for three days bringing the cow in, he decided to take a rest in his good old bed. 17 hours later, he woke up to a loud moo, got up, went into his living room, and saw that the plastic cow had left many "presents" on his carpet, and had something large, plastic, and beagle-ishly playful in it's mouth. Stan couldn't guess what could possibly be in it's mouth, but supposed that it shouldn't be there. So he took it out with great difficutly, and when he did...he noticed that it looked like....a cat! Stan couldn't recall ever buying a plastic cat...Then he looked over to where his beagle was supposed to be, and saw that it was gone, then looked at the bottom of the "cat" in his hands, and it read "playful beagle".
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Stan cried.
You see, stan cannot stand plastic cats. He despises them. Now imagine, his prized plastic beagle had been chewed by a plastic cow and turned into a disfigured plastic, saliva covered cat! (Stan could never figure out how the plastic cow managed to excrete saliva. He was very impressed with whomever had manufactured it)
"Now you look here, plastic cow. I want you out of my house. There is no excuse for what you did (I don't know how you did it, but that's beside the point.) What are sitting there staring at me for? I've seen you walk before! (I really don't know how you do it, being plastic and all). Now I want you to go ahead and walk out of my house! Did you hear me?! I know you can (though I'm not sure how you can, since you're plastic)."
The cow did not move.
"You had better be glad that you're not a real cow, cause otherwise I would kill you right now and have a great steak dinner tonight!"
With that, the cow ran out of Stan's house and was to never be found. Stan told all his friend about what had happened, and nobody believed that a plastic cow could do all of that. His friends insisted that the cow was real, but nobody could fool Stan. He knew deep in his heart that that cow was plastic. (though he couldn't understand how it wasn't plastic, but that's beside the point)
It has been his life's goal to bring the cow to justice. Unfortunately, neither the police, the bomb squad, the FBI, the CIA, or even Plastic Animals Inc. would help him out.
Poor Stan recently moved to a place he likes to call "the place with the happy coushins on the wall! Teehee!" Yeah, he got sent to they insane asylum. Poor Stan....
confused ((Sorry this was so long, but you asked for it!))
Reply
