Welcome to Gaia! ::

Raquel found herself blush ever so slightly, reaching one hand up to his cheek, kissing the corner of his mouth gently. "I know... I know.." Her eyes found his, looking deep and genuinely understanding. In her heart, she knew she'd give him a thousand sponge baths. She'd sit by his bedside every day, feed him herself, all for the rest of their lives if he needed her to. She'd never leave, never turn away from him, nomatter his condition. This realization was set firmly in her heart and soul, reflecting in her eyes as she just looked at him. She let a moment pass before getting back to work, not wanting him to chill.

Once she was done, she found she was a bit wet herself. Though that is why she brought extra clothes. She dried Damian off, even helping him change into a new pair of boxers, saying how he should have that luxury at least if he were stuck here.

After slipping her own sweater back on, she combed through his hair before pulling it back just as it always was, making him look almost brand new.... despite the bruises and what not at least. "What are we going to tell Richard and Lorey when they get back dear?" She asked with as oft sigh, fixing him up a bit, and getting him his hospital gown. A fresh one to make the clean up more complete.

Raquel nodded, thinking a moment, looking down at her ring. "Our engagement too or...?" She added, wanting to know if he still felt they should wait to reveal such news or just let it all unfold before the other couples wedding. She felt guilty for asking him such questions at a time like this, but maybe thinking a bit about the future would help him not focus on his current condition and feel terrible for where he was.

Raquel nodded in agreement, loving the ideao that someone they actually knew other than Nat would get to hear their news.
cocking her head, she smiled,admiring the little bobble on her hand. "It really is beautiful Damian..." She noted absentmindedly. "Though I swear I'd give it away if I could change what happened...or at least make you stop hurting..." She looked back up to him, though hid her sadness. Damian's screams still haunted her mind. The images of him being thrown about and broken... She saw them every time she shut her eyes. She was only brought out of the memories when she was touching or speaking with Damian now. Anything to tell her he was alright and getting better.

Raquel furrowed her brow. "I'm one of those things..." She spoke so quietly, she doubted Damian heard her.

"I felt it in them... their intentions were good. At least in Amethyst... they just went about it all wrong..." She wasn't sure if or why she was defending them, but ti was simply the truth. "I've got some reading to do..." She mumbled this last part to herself, pulling her hair out of its messy ponytail, only to retie it a bit better before looking back to Damian.

"Though...you were my hero. When you were holding me, basically telling me I could go... I almost cried. I was never planning on leaving, I just wanted to know if you'd really let me go if I needed to... As for my 'health' as an Amarathine.... I think I'll be fine. Amethyst helped me get a glimpse of what I could do, I think I may be able to handle it on my own..." She gave Damian a brave, determined smile, resting her ringed hand on his.

Raquel's eyes dropped as she looked away. "W-what if it was what I wanted?" She asked softly, not looking to him.
Raquel would never say she'd rather be anywhere than with Damian. Her 'yes' told him that...
But she did want help. Help and understanding that Damian just couldn't give no matter how much he wanted to. Physically and mentally he just couldn't...
She had mentioned the nightmares to him. That night he had been crying over his mother. She mentioned how he had been an escape from them. But it was only temporary. Just as she had found solace at the bottom of a bottle in her younger years, it seemed to help at first, only to find some other way to bring her pain within her own mind.

Andrew had been correct with that when he had spoken of her past habits. He was also correct in how she had wanted to try drugs, though after trying them once or twice, found they made her nightmares even more powerful, along with the downward spiral of her life that led her to thoughts of suicide. Damian knew of her human pain, her human tendencies... but what of her Amaranthine? She didn't even know what was in store.

She swallowed a little, furrowing her brow. "The reality of leaving you...leaving the dreams we had created together...it killed me. I didn't want to leave... I just-" She closed her eyes, fighting the urge to cry. She wouldn't cry. Not with Damian here in a hospital bed. After all he had done for her.

"I just wanted their help." She stared down at her lap a bit. "I wanted...I needed to find a way to make this all go away. I wanted to lead a simple happy life with you, without having to constantly worry yourself over how I'm fairing emotionally because of these- er- silly powers or whatever they are!" She seemed exasperated with herself, her own thoughts.

"I asked what I could do, so that all these complications I'm having could just go away." She lowered her voice a bit, not wanting to have mention this just yet. "They said that besides my Amaranthine instincts and problems of controlling thought waves, it was magnified and worsened being part human. The brain waves of the two species are different in some ways,causing confusion and complications in my emotions and own thoughts...." She rubbed her eyes thinking as she explained.

"I asked if there were just a way I could...eradicate... the Amaranthine gene, leaving me full blooded human..." Her eyes grew dark but not completely this time. Only the parts that were green seemed to turn gray. "But apparently the human strain in me isn't the dominate. There'd be no way for me to successfully rely on it... But turning full blood Amarathine would mean I could say goodbye to all these horrible, dark, overwhelming clouds that smother me." She smiled so sadly, shaking her head. "But I can't do that Damian, I can't because-" She stopped, fighting back her tears as she sat near him. "B-because it'd mean starting over. They'd wipe me a clean slate. I wouldn't remember my past. I would never remember the assaults, the beatings, the pain..." She looked up at him, her eyes watery. "...I wouldn't remember you."

"No." She replied quickly, shutting her eyes and shaking her head. "No, Damian. I'm not giving up the only happiness I've found. I can't!" Her voice was cracked and loud but she quickly brought it down in an attempt to calm herself down. She wished she had waited to speak of this when he was better enough to hold her, to tell her it was all alright.

But no, now it was her turn to tell herself that, and let Damian know it would be. "Who would I be... If I just turned my back on all this?" She asked, looking up at him with tired, sad eyes. "Not just on you and our happiness...but this person I've become..." She looked at him, her eyes returning the deep green they usually were. "This strong person who's simply taken her horrors and misfortunes and grown from them, grown stronger, wiser... who finally realized she could be happy and deserved it...I'm not losing that Damian. I'm tired of running away and finding the easiest way out. I'll find a way around it all ok? I'll figure soemthing out..." She patted his hand, giving him a sure nod, trying to keep herself as well as him optimistic.