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 Posted: Sat May 02, 2009 5:18 pm
A woman is in the delivery room giving birth, the doctor tells her to push. She does and the baby's head pops out. The doctor says, "Oh! Your baby has slanted eyes." To which she replies "Yeah I heard them Chinese men were pretty good, so I decided to give them a try.
The doctor shrugs it off and tells her to push again. This time the baby's body comes out. "Holy s**t, your baby has a white body," the doctor says. "Yeah I heard them white men were pretty good so I decided to give them a try," she said.
The doctor shrugs it off again and tells her to push again and that will be it. So she does and the legs come out. "Holy s**t! Your baby has black legs," the doctor said. "Yeah I heard them black men were pretty good so I decided to give them a try," she said.
So the doctor shrugs it off again and ties the umbilical cord and slaps the baby on the a**, it starts to cry. The doctor turns to the woman and asks, "How are you going to deal with a baby who has slanted eyes, white body, and black legs?" The woman replies "I'm just glad it didn't bark!"
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Posted: Sat May 02, 2009 5:21 pm
A Guy is driving his girlfriend home when she decides she wants to go to her friends instead. Her friend lives out of the way so she tells her boyfriend that she would get naked for him if he drove her. The guy says ok and the girl takes off all her clothes. The boyfriend is so busy looking at her that he stacks the car and gets stuck between the steering wheel and the seat. He tells her to go get help and she replied that she couldn't because she didn't have any clothes on. He replies,Take my shoe and cover your snatch with it, and go for help!
She takes the shoe and runs to the closest gas station. She finds the clerk and says, "Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can you help us?" The clerk replies, "Im sorry, I think he's too far in."
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 6:11 pm
A deep-sea diver is twenty feet below sea level when he sees another guy with no scuba gear. He goes down another thirty feet, and the guy with no equipment stays with him. He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes, "How the hell can you stay down this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the chalkboard and writes, "You a*****e, I'm drowning."
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 6:12 pm
A guy is horny a hell - but broke. He goes to a whorehouse with $5.00, and begs the Madame to give him whatever she can for it. She says "I'm sorry, but that will only cover the rent for ten minutes, and none of my hookers work for free!" The guy gets the room, but has nothing to ********. He looks out on the ledge of the building and sees a pigeon. Quietly, he opens the window, grabs the poor bird and just ******** the living s**t out of it. Satisfied, he goes home.
Next week, he returns to the whorehouse, with his pay cheque. He says to the Madame, "I got lots of money now...give me a hooker!". The Madame replies "All of them are busy now, why don't you go to the peep show and get yourself in the mood?". The guy does, and is enjoying the show, when he turns to the guy next to him and says, "Hey, these chicks really know what they're doing huh?", The guy responds, "Yeah, but you should have been here last week, there was this guy ******** a pigeon!"
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Posted: Wed May 06, 2009 3:51 pm
LMAO omg! that was funny!
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Posted: Wed May 06, 2009 3:55 pm
Two doctors lying n bed after sex. He said you must be an OBGYN cuz you worked that p***y. She said You must me and Anesthesiologist cuz I didn't feel s**t!
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Posted: Wed May 06, 2009 4:05 pm
cute,i don't have good jokes like those cause i never look into it but i have a redneck joke^^rectum!i use to have three four-wheelers before i wrecked'em
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Posted: Wed May 06, 2009 5:00 pm
some of the smaller jokes I have are ones people sent me in a text message XD
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Posted: Wed May 06, 2009 5:42 pm
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Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 5:53 am
Zair Chaos Kitsune cute,i don't have good jokes like those cause i never look into it but i have a redneck joke^^rectum!i use to have three four-wheelers before i wrecked'em um sorry I don't get it confused
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Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 11:28 am
in redneck words they would say rectum instead of the really word and i was trying to ....never mind stare jokes aren't my forta anyway^^poems and rythms are^^ like the i just did>.>
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Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 6:36 pm
Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to see her grandmother in the forest. Her mother warned her "Don't walk through the forest, take the path, or else the Big Bad Wolf will catch you and suck your tits dry!" Little Red started towards her grandmother's house but decided to take the shortcut through the forest anyway. The turtle stopped Little Red and warned her "Turn back and use the path, because if the Big Bad Wolf finds you, he'll suck your tits dry!" Little Red was almost there, so she kept going through the forest. Sure enough, the Big Bad Wolf jumps out of nowhere and tells her "Take off your shirt Little Red Riding Hood - I'm gonna suck your tits dry!!". "Oh no you don't", yells Little Red, as she pulls up her skirt, "You're gonna eat me just like the story says!"
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Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 7:00 pm
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 9:49 am
OK HOLY ******** THAT WAS FUNNY!!!@.@>.> i think i truely like it cause it has a wolf in it=^^= sweatdrop
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Posted: Thu May 21, 2009 11:08 pm
The moment I saw the word " If you were gay" I closed it. i've seen several versions of it.... I'm done with it
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