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 Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:15 am
Well, according to Shatner, HD TV means "High Density Television".
We haven't had a Shatnerizm in a while...
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 8:07 pm
"Thomas" means to #2 on a person, place, or thing.
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 10:36 am
FACT: A new shatnerism taken straight off the final test.
35. Which of the following is NOT a major digital video architecture?
a. Apple Quicktime
b. Microsofts Windows Media format
c. Real Networks Real Player
d. Sonys Playstation
Well let me tell you. I sure am glad i am paying for a college class where i can learn complex s**t like this.
EDIT: More goodness
What does ISP stand for?
My favorite answer is answer A. Indian Service Provider
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Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 10:30 am
Chuck Norris was born of the Greek gods Ares and Hermes in a grand session of buttsecks that may never be equaled.
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Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 2:07 pm
FACT: "Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhouse kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium."
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Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 6:13 pm
Well another semester has started at crappy ol PCC, and so, me an zilla are going to be reporting humorous stuff again. Not sure if this is humorous, cuz it scares the hell outta me, but in our 2-D design class, we have a vampire lady. No ****ing joke! She has the long a** teeth in the right spots, and a tattoo on her neck that makes me wonder if she practices wicca.
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Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 9:22 pm
Rotflmfao, I completely forgot about her until you posted about her! blaugh I find it sooo funny, she's so easy to make fun of! As horrible as that sounds, she brings it upon herself! She bounces around like nobody's business too! It's like we've had it wrong all these years and sunlight doesn't kill vampires... it makes them hyper as crap! Like super caffeine or something.
Oh, and right, a fact uhhh...
Penny is a T-Rex.
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Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 8:26 am
FACT:
(v'o')> All your base are belong to Kirby!
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Dark_Crimson_Knight Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:08 pm
The MOTHER of all facts has come to me via an email....
The Top Thirty Facts about Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't ******** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the s**t out of little kids.
One day Chuck Norris looked in the mirror and said "No one outstares Chuck!" He is still there to this day.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living s**t out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.
Chuck Norris owns neither microwave nor oven. When he is hungry, he simply shouts "BAKE" to his food, and out of fear, the food instantly catches on fire
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.
Chuck Norris can eat a Rubix Cube and poop it out solved.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris round house kicked in the face that day.
When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris can mathematically make two wrongs equal a right
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 11:35 am
FACT: Kim, the graphic arts teacher, is the most awesome teacher in the world.
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Dark_Crimson_Knight Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 7:01 pm
FACT: s**t its been two months since this has gone anywhere!!!!!!! SO....... FACT: 
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Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 1:23 pm
FACT: Manbearpig is a serious threat to the environment.
ALSO FACT: Manbearpig is either half man, half bearpig, or half bear and half pigman, but he is NOT half man, half bear and half pig, because that doesn't make any sense.
ALSO FACT AS WELL: Manbearpig lives in the Cave of the Winds.
Unrealted fact: Al Gore has no friends.
Thank you, South Park, for all that you can teach us.
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Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 6:27 pm
FACT: Romania is full of pirates
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Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 10:34 am
FIANLLY NEW FACTS!
(courtesy of Mel Gibson)
Jews have secretly been trying to make candy and ice cream illegal.
Jews don’t worship Jesus even though He’s God and they’re supposed to.
Jews made that dude cut off Braveheart’s wang at the end of the movie.
Jews made Lance Bass gay.
Jews created Arrested Development just so they could piss us off by cancelling it.
Jews don’t believe in Christmas. What kind of people don’t even believe in Christmas!?!
Jews gave our founding fathers that whole slavery idea.
Jews are the ones who made it so hot outside.
Jews own almost everything. Everything except Malibu, that is - Mel Gibson owns that.
Jews share religious beliefs similar to those of Madonna.
Jews don’t care about 9/11.
Jews love Freddy Prinze Jr. movies, which is why he gets to keep making them.
Jews killed all the unicorns, which is why you don’t see them much these days.
Jews didn’t enjoy Lethal Weapon 3.
Jews believe in Scientology (but not Christmas).
Jews came up with the idea for Hogan Knows Best.
Jews don’t want you to know how to save money on your car insurance by using Geico
Jews made cursive writing irrelevant, thereby wasting countless hours of your childhood.
Jews only accept MySpace Friend Requests from crappy bands.
Jews can’t rollerskate very well.
Jews only print the Torah on unrecycled paper.
Jews all have the bird flu.
Did I mention the Jews don’t even believe in Christmas?
Jews drive people to drink (and then drive).
Jews invented bad stand-up comedy.
Jews left all those mean comments about Paris Hilton on TMZ.
Jews are the ones who put the snakes on the plane.
Jews don’t enjoy rainbows.
Jews never won a single episode of American Gladiators.
Jews don’t shop at Wal Mart as much as they should.
Jews are trying to stop JK Rowling from finishing the Harry Potter series.
Jews started the kosher thing just to annoy the rest of us.
Jews are the ones who made cigarettes give you cancer.
Jews are to blame for all those stupid Adam Sandler songs.
Jews don’t hug.
Jews have never had the Best Week Ever.
Jews don’t even bother to vote for their American Idol.
Jews invented SPAM - both the food and the annoying e-mails.
In their spare time, Jews enjoy making fun of Corky, that retarded guy from TV.
Jews like to harass innocent people who are minding their own business while drunkenly swerving their way down the Pacific Coast Highway.
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Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 9:32 pm
Haven't posted a few in a while.
Fact: There is a ninja in James' grandparents' garage.
Semi-related fact: James' mom is a Promethean.
Completely unrelated fact: Ne' Sonya's breasts are a universal currency.
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