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 Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 11:45 am
No advice.
Lets start with the more insignificant things;
The fact that you are the only one in the house who eats meat yet you still eat our food, the fact that you b***h at us kids to help out more when you sit on your fat a** all day and never help at all ("I can't wash up because I need my hands to play the violin and earn you money" is not an excuse. How did you cope when you lived alone, ********?!), the fact that you ******** SMOKE in the BATHROOM. You complete tosser, its bad enough that you have to chain smoke as it is, but in the ******** bathroom too?!
You're abusive, insensitive, uncaring, you don't listen, you don't back down, you're violent, you're all out disgusting, you're a cheater, you're pure scum in my eyes. You didn't try to help bring us up when we were little and now you can't find a connection with us and you wonder why. You can't blame mum for the fact she tried for two when you were never around. You wonder why we don't respect you?! You didn't even ******** notice all the s**t I've been through because of you - the sadness, the anger, the depression, the self harm, the excessive drinking, the smoking, the drugs, the medication abuse, the goddamn bulimia which still ******** haunts me every day! I've been threatened with doctors, counselors, psychiatrists, the whole lot because of it. You didn't even notice. You still don't notice. Its not fun having to pretend to be happy all the time.
Thanks to you, my life as I know it is my desperate attempt to escape your fascism.
I'm mistrusting of people. I will never be able to truly love someone thanks to seeing how you've ******** up our lives - I'm never going to put myself in that sort of position to get hurt.
There are so many things wrong with the way I live my life. And nearly every problem I've had leads back to you, and the way you've failed me. So thanks a lot, dad. I hope you're ******** pleased.
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 1:50 pm
He thinks I'm a spaz. I know he does, even though he hasn't said it. And it kills me because I'm the most spazzy when he's around me.
He talked about killing himself today and killed a little part of me instead. I wish I could tell him how much I hate to hear that s**t.
I wish I could get the ******** over him because I'm 99% positive that he'll never ever like me.
The other 1% of me is holding on in hopes that he secretly does like me. No matter what the rest of me says.
We were sitting in the grass and my bestest friend had her head on his stomach. I was so jealous. I tried to sign that to her, but she didn't understand. I'm not mad at her, though. I'm mad at myself for not having the guts to do that.
Advice: Any tips on how to make someone love you would be super. Really, I'd just kinda like someone to make me feel better about this.
But it's not necessary.
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 2:26 pm
Dear intermediate algebra,
i hate you so much.
>>; -fumes-
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 2:41 pm
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 5:26 pm
 ♥ 回忆里想起摸湖的小时候。云朵漂浮在蓝蓝的天空。。。 ♡
DEAR GAIAN CASH SHOP:
PLEASE STOP COMING OUT WITH ITEMS I WANT.
I CAN'T SAVE UP GOLD FAST ENOUGH.
NOR I DO SPEND REAL MONEY ON THIS WEBSITE.
RELEASE SOME REGULAR STORE ITEMS, PLEASE?
LOVEGAHH
~ 艳馨
♡ 。。。那时的你说要和我手牵手，一起走到时间的尽头。♥
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:17 pm
" I hate how my bets friend won't talk to me even when I TRY to apologize. I don't deserve such a good friend anyway....He'd probably be better off not talking to me again or associating with me again. And to my friends who hate my boyfriend just STOP. SERIOUSLY. He's not abusive and he isn't a bad person. He doesn't talk down ot me or tell me what to do. Not EVEN crush my mental spirit. He does the complete opposite of all these so just SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!"
((no advice. Just needed to vent xP))
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Second_Crimson Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:30 am
Why the ******** do I have to get sick? Especially when I need to run a restaurant? BLAGH.
[No advice, duh]
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 11:24 am
HOLY HELL!!!!!! I'm forced out of bed at the crack of dawn and I do gardening with my grams. I say I'm hungry and my aunt is all, "Ok, I'll go take a shower and go get us something to eat."
Yay!
Lo and behold, FOUR HOURS LATER she has to dry her hair and my grams isn't hungry. I'm STARVING still.
Now she's brushing her teeth, an hour after that and she doesn't want to go get me anything. She keeps bringing up doughnuts but I don't WANT ********. She says I could just eat something here. I could have ******** done that five ******** hours ago! b***h!
.....hungry Hisa is a cranky Hisa.
no advice
OH
OH
Now she's calling me a brat for giving her an attitude? THE ******** HELL?! I AM NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! D8< @$#**%# I was thinking of deleting this after I wrote it but no. Here. You guys can read what a b***h she is. I have to deal with this s**t everyday. Its like a horrible marriage I can't get out of I swear. = ___ = +++ And I'm an idiot for not eating anything earlier. Wtf ever.
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 11:40 am
Yan Xin ♥ 回忆里想起摸湖的小时候。云朵漂浮在蓝蓝的天空。。。 ♡
DEAR GAIAN CASH SHOP:
PLEASE STOP COMING OUT WITH ITEMS I WANT.
I CAN'T SAVE UP GOLD FAST ENOUGH.
NOR I DO SPEND REAL MONEY ON THIS WEBSITE.
RELEASE SOME REGULAR STORE ITEMS, PLEASE?
LOVEGAHH
~ 艳馨
♡ 。。。那时的你说要和我手牵手，一起走到时间的尽头。♥ What she said.
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:59 pm
Headache.Headache.Headache. scream
Goals for the week:
Saturday: Read chapter 22, 23 and 24
Sunday: Read chapter 25, 26, 28
Monday: Read chapter 29, 30, 31
Tues before 12pm look through chapters 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 28, 29, 30, 31 before the stupid test <<;;
Tues again: Hand in stats coursework.
Before 28th March do the online test on Business Tools
Wed: Read P+O chapter 1 - 3
Thurs: P+O 4-6
Fri: 7- 10
sat: 11 - 13
Wed - Sat's shcedules = VERY UNLIKELY. Even Sat - Tues is still on the verge of being impossible.
Sun: pick up friends (if they are coming) and read through 14-16
Mon: Do....some work and try not to have too much fun with friends
Tues before 12pm: Read throught the chapters 13 - 31 from last week before the test again.
Weds: Not got a plan yet since I will probably have to change it if I havent got P+O 1 - 13 done. Plus if my friend are stil here....Oh boy....Definitely no work...><
Any tips on how to keep working WITHOUT starting to stare into space or falling asleep?
I find taking a shower useful...But its not like I can take it 20 times a day....
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 3:51 pm
I am so sick of feeling like crap. I was sick the start of the week, now I have Mr. Monthly visiting so I feel like crap again.
I am sick of snow. First days of spring and we get a snow storm. It is so cold today my hands were numb when I walked from the school to my car. Why the hell won't it warm up?! WHY!?!?!?!
Why did we have to have a make up dance night? I feel so sick right now I can't go, and along with all my sickness I feel like s**t for missing. T.T Is there ever a time when I can just relax? Is there a day I can get through without something else popping up and eating my time away?
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Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 6:51 pm
He breaks things off with me because of his ******** ex and he continues to act like he did when we were pursuing each other? He still calls me baby. He still calls me his Jamie. He still says "I miss you." These are not friend things.
These are "I don't know what I want, or who I want so I'm keeping all options open." I'm fine with either option, just make up your damn mind!
[No advice]
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Second_Crimson Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 7:03 pm
Why am I a procrastinator!? Damn myself. And damn you Garageband 2008, your notation function is made of LIES. And damn you Finale, just because you take too long. And damn my lack of skill with reading rhythm and notating things for voice. And damn IB for making this due next week. The choir teacher too, for saiyng, "You have a deadline, like a real composer!" I'll never be cool like Takumi, then. And fuuuck why does everything I say have a Panikku reference in it. wjlagksbdj.
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Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 8:48 pm
 I curse whoever gave me this damn bug to a week of tripping over their own pant leggings and shoe laces.
TT n TT I don't know how much more I can handle my damn Aunt. I broke into hysterical fits of laughter the other day... something I don't think I've ever done. I didn't know if I should cry or just laugh at the irony of this woman. She has the mental capacity of a seven year old sometimes. She's selfish and she tells ME not to cuss and yet she calls me an "a*****e". The ******** does she think she gets off with that s**t?! One day she's going to push too many of my damn buttons and I'm either going to crack and do something I REALLY don't want to do, or I'll just hand it to her. *cracks knuckles* I'll cuss her back to the good old '70's she won't shut up about. I swear, Beatles this Beatles that. Not everyone is copying the Beatles!
And one more thing! When I'm in the car with you, let me listen to my ******** music and shut your damn trap for TEN DAMN SECONDS! I swear to god, you repeat yourself twenty-billion times I could recite every conversation you are going to have with me in my head when we're having it and I do. I wish you'd get a life sometimes dammit.
Oh yeah, and the thing that REALLY ticks me off is when you talk s**t about me right to my face to someone else and act like I don't even exist. I've been through that s**t before in middle school do you think I need that from someone in my family? I want to get along with you but you make it so damn near impossible.
I swear one of these days I'm going to burn the little diary you keep in your room that you write all your meals down in (calories, medications, ect) because I have noticed when you aren't in your room and its out on the desk for the world to see you have a lot of s**t about me in there. Like you're recording how I act towards you? If you're going to do that at least get a second opinion. And stop being so trigger happy with the damn internet connection! I'm ******** 20, and if you don't want to control me with my internet hours, I just rather get a damn job and pay for my own damn internet. b***h.
*sighs* No advice thank you. Just needed to get that crap off my chest. Damn, I feel so much better. I think I'm going to go crawl onto the floor and pass out now... = 3 = ;;;
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Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 10:23 pm
♥ 回忆里想起摸湖的小时候。云朵漂浮在蓝蓝的天空。。。 ♡
...
--puts face in ******** face out of pillow.--
Okay, I'm good.
♡ 。。。那时的你说要和我手牵手，一起走到时间的尽头。♥
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