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I want home. gonk Back to Kaustinen, back to the fields and violins. I hate being in city. I WANT OUT!

Several reasons.
First of all, there is no job and my significant other has a good job here.
I could not stand being there too long. I love the place but there is also too many unpleasant memories just outside my home village (my family build it from a scratch) and its so isolated. Still I want back there, just to recharge my batteries and to hear and see that everything is like they've always been.

The good feeling I have about Kaustinen would die if I'd have to really life there. Most of the people who made my life like s**t as kids still are there doing same things over and over again and I don't want to see them.

When I go back there, I see my family, our farm and forests, stones and fields. The old feeling. Older than I am, older than that whole place. It is a center of Finnish Folk music, and whole village radiates that. It's the thing I'm missing.

And I miss the old people, my grandfather and his brothers. How they talk and laugh. It's like three old crows chuckling.

I want to remember again what I love about that place and what makes me hate it.

It's winter. I need to be at certain place, highest place of that hill where our village is, to stand behind tractor and machine storage, barns doorstep and watch the stars and milky way took place. I need to walk same paths that my father has walked when he was a kid, I need to travel alone to the end of last forest paths and little bit further. I need to visit Madam Cute Tina Luomala's grave, she was oldest and toughest cat that place has ever seen.

The moss, roots, stones, lichen, sand, pines and dead grass. I need to see that it is all there.

-deep sigh- Had to get it out. I'm young, but I've lived in traditional way. I can't see stars and snow here and it makes me want to scream inside. I have this strange urge to say, that my soul is there in the ground. It is, but damn I know I can't explain feeling of it to anyone properly.

I'm sorry. gonk I get the same feeling from time to time; as much as I hated my hometown when I was younger, it was more the people I needed to get away from than the town itself. I miss the snow too, and being able to see the Aurora, and Julebukking on Christmas Eve. Staying up past midnight and it still hasn't gotten dark out yet. And all the other little things that make that place more "home" than any other place I've lived. Ah well. For all the longing, when you do get to go back and visit, it makes for a nice reunion. 3nodding

Huzzah! Good show, Schutzhund! biggrin
Have a grand holiday!
Take a picture or two and show us? smile You make it sound so nice.

I hate how when my mom bakes, she takes up the oven and the microwave... >_< The oven has a timer of it's own, after all! DANG IT!!

The oven timer is digital... >_> it's even just as easy to use as the microwave... if not more so...

Situation under control. It seems that I'm only person in this family who is able to think straight when mad. And as being slowly burning type, me taking my mind out has some shock value. Maybe now my mom remembers not to work herself again on the edge of heart attack.
This trip signed the fact again, that always happens something that makes people think bad of others and us worried ourselves sick for that. Grandparents helped a lot to put our minds in ease.

Peace has returned, it was nice to see home again. Especially to stand on top of our village hill, watching full moon shine so bright that landscape turned silver. Black sky with all the stars where they should be, Otava hanging just above machine hall's roof, white clouds, silver snow and blueish spruces making long silhouette shadows. heart

Yep! That is so beautiful & awesome (technically). So, Schutzhund, there were some last minute road-trip challenges and your Mom's heart condition flared up?!? That sounds so scary!!! I'm glad everything worked out to get you home for the holidays. But do pay special attention to Mom so that she stays happy & healthy.