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I made you a redline! biggrin



First of all, I think that her breasts are too close together. The one on our left should be more to the left... unless she's wearing some kind of lingerie that pushes her boobies together (which wouldn't be too much of a surprise, considering the nature of your commissions).

Secondly, I think that both of their shoulders should be raised. The female's should be because that's a side effect of pushing the chest out (which is very good for asserting confidence / dominance in body language), and the male's should be because he has to raise his arms in order to have them behind his head.

I also thought that their torsos were a little too boxy... this may have been because you were still working with guidelines, I don't know. Also, I noticed that the female's ankle was a little thick. It caught my eye because it's something I do all the time, too. xd

The male's legs seemed a little too long and like they were shaped strangely, but that may have just been me. When fleshing out the arms / legs, it helps me to draw each muscle individually. Even if I'm just going to erase it later, it still gives off the illusion of muscle tone-- which is a very good thing for males, since the ideal male is expected to be kind of buff.

I hope that helps! This is a very good idea, and I love the way you executed it.

Commenting on this one.

I like the anatomy. I don't have much to crit there, other than the n****e on our left looks kind of weird. I think that if it was stiff enough to be seen clearly through the shirt like that, it would make a tiny n****e-shaped bulge in the fabric, like this. The lines defining the camel toe also seem a little bit random. Given the nature of camel toes, the only thing that's strikingly obvious are the lips of the v****a, so I think that a single curved line in the middle would work better than the three you currently have.

The rendering could use a lot of work. There are highlights, but no visible shadows, so it looks really flat. Also, the straight white against the dark skin looks kind of... bland. Try using warmer versions of your base color for highlights and colder ones for your shadows.

Your lineart is generally very smooth, but some places look wobbly or erratic... what kind of pen are you using? It looks like a ballpoint... I would advise against those, because their flow is generally very inconsistent, which makes them harder to use. The only way I've found to get a thin, clean line with a ballpoint is to hold the pen at a 90-degree angle from the paper and press very lightly, but doing this for a prolonged period of time gives me some serious arm cramps. Not fun.

My favorite kind of pen to use is a calligraphy marker, but you might not like them because they tend to make thick lines on long strokes... I'd suggest using metal-nibbed pens, or some good marker or brush-tipped pens. (Faber-Castell makes some really good marker / brush tips.)

As for your lines themselves... Definitely add some variation in there. It adds a lot of life to a piece. Here is a good lineart tutorial.

Nice work as always. Your knowledge of anatomy has improved leaps and bounds since you first started coming here... I'm guessing this was a commission, right? How did they like it?