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 Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:23 pm
"Oh, god..." Astrum felt a huge leaping in his empty stomach - his friend, his only real friend, was here. He was shivering violently, shirtless, nearly pantsless, hair so short that it felt wrong and unnatural, but everything would be alright.
Everything would be alright.
"Baniru..." The familiar pricking at his dark, hazel eyes - but no, he was far too dehydrated to create tears.
He had so many things to say, too many things - to explain it all, everything that had happened to him, going back when he was a her -
help.
Help me.
Save me.
I'm dying.
Save me.
Save us.
Ruli's eyes were closed.
Astrum held the boy closer, his heart beating wildly - almost out of control. "Save us!" he gasped out louder than his two previous whispers - loud enough to see how badly he'd ripped his voice when they beat him. Ripped and hoarse and low, it was barely human - let alone male.
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Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:33 pm
Baniru's eyes opened wide, and the pupil consumed them, making them very dark. It was a look of pure shock and trance, one of worry and fear and the scent of the dead.
She didn't even know she was doing it- but the first thing she did, before she took Aura's arm over her own shoulder was smell- sniff the air around him, curiously, wondering.
It smelled like Aura, and no one had that same, earthy scent.
Gingerly the woman helped the man inside, that same look of shock staying with her the entire time. It felt like a dream- it must have been a dream- for there was in no way that this could be reality.
"Rest, my bed is free..." she heard her own voice command, waiflike, at the rafters of her throat, "Karma, be a good boy and go into the bathroom so we grownups can talk..."
Karma took one look up at his mother and instantly obeyed, frightened beyond words, screams, or movements. He simply got up, dropped what he was doing, and walked mechanically into the bathroom.
Hypnotism, it seemed.
But if it was indeed hypnotism, then Baniru must have been directing some of that crap at herself, because she felt like she was floating on air. Her face hadn't changed.
"Save you."
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Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:49 pm
Astrum's eyes had never lost that living flame, that burning passion - but the fire was certainly dim. It was not placid, however - he still had his pride, dignity, honor - soul.
Green, gold, blue, grey. Hazel eyes that changed everyday, randomly.
These eyes were lidded, nearly shut - dehydration forced the lids closed often, simply because the eyes were too dry to function properly.
Astrum let himself lean on Baniru, just nodding that ragged head, nodding and nodding and nodding - he could hardly worry about anything now. Everything was going to be alright.
Everything.
Finally, no one was there to hurt him.
There would be no hunger.
There would be no pain.
Ruli was safe, now. He could rest in a bed, and get rehydrated, and fed. He could live again.
A few too-salty tears trickled down his face long stained with them and with the muck and grime of wandering for days, weeks. To be a vagabond was not something one should enjoy unless they had no risk.
They got to the bed, and, with a tenderness that was maternal and strange from a man, Astrum carefully tucked the little technicolour wonder in. Ruli's limbs splayed comically, like a baby's do when they are too tired to care.
He sat down at the edge of the bed, shivering very slightly, trying not to get the seat of his very dirty jeans onto the much-cleaner sheets, and turned to Baniru.
And that's when he found that he had no words - unable to truly articulate, or even find a beginning, to this story, to this body, to this condition and to this life.
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Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:56 pm
"What do you need?" was all Baniru said as she stood and walked to the closet, begginning to pull out some of her biggest clothes. There was no shower in her room, but there was a bathing building downstairs, and she had a few dimes to spare...
"What do you need?"
Repeated, repeated, repeated.
"What... do.. yo.u.. n.e..e.-"
The woman was out. There was a soft flunk on the midnight floor as Baniru fell gracefully to it, the clothes she had in hand from her closet splaying on the ground.
Karma waited wistfully in the bathroom, bored. He was sitting on the toilet seat, watching his feet swing.
What had happened again?
The most famous line.
If Aura could support himself, he'd find that there was a pot of beef stew on the small, clean little stove- it was simmering nicely, and it would be well done in a few moments. There was a large water cooler next to the fridge- and there were many other edible things in the fridge itself.
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Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 11:06 pm
A gasp caught in his dehydrated throat, and he sprang up, trying to help Baniru up.
Unfortunatly, muscles that have been forced to carry a child for hundreds of miles are not muscles that can lift fully-grown women off the ground. He helped the body along to a nicer sitting position next to the bed.
There, he thought, she won't be as bruised and sore.
He wondered vaguely where the child was. The crazy one that had jumped out of the window. With the black hair.
Where was the tike?
But then his eyes caught the water. Water.
Water.
He let out a husky moan and launched himself at it, stopping only long enough to get a mug, and began chugging the water like it was life-juice.
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Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 11:16 pm
Her head lolled to the side, and she mumbled things incoherently. Baniru was nerve-shot, and this just took the cake.
Karma, after hearing no adult speak, toddled out of the bathroom and into where Aura was. Curiously he looked up at him with one eye closed, mouth in a bent frown.
"Whoya?" the boy asked with a furrowed brow, trying to remember words his mom had taught him, "Wata.. dreek?"
He pointed a pudgy finger at the water bottle, then to Aura, then back to the water.
And by this point, Bani was coming 'round. Her eyes rolled open with a shuddering snap, and she shook her head.
"Aura?"
That's right, where was Aura? That man was Aura?
There were so many things she wanted to ask, but instead she held her tongue and just watched the two-
The two.
"Karma!" she barked out and saw the toddler visibly flinch.
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Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 11:27 pm
"Whoya?"
Water came rushing out of Astrum's nose as he snorted in surprised. He removed the mug from his mouth and spluttered, eyes running with tears of that small, acute pain.
The little boy was standing there, looking a little too old and too young for his size - giving him an appraising look. Astrum opened his mouth to answer him, but stopped short as he heard a shout coming from the revived Baniru.
He turned to her, walked to her with padding, sloppy movements. The water had filled his stomach, and his mug was still mostly full, and he was just about to answer that he was not Aura, and begin there -
Help me.
Save me.
Ruli!
"Ruli!" His hoarse cry surprised even himself as he vaulted to the bed with some unknown strength, shaking the waif-thin child awake.
The tiny moan sent tears of shame rolling down Astrum's dirty face.
"Here, little love, drink this," he said in a wavering voice, tipping the mug to the tiny purple lips that were open and gasping for air.
The water went in, and Astrum massaged the throat, forcing it down, repeating the process until the whole mug was empty.
Food would have to wait.
Food.
Was that beef stew he smelt? It couldn't be.
It couldn't be, but it was. It smelled so good!
"Hababala. Is that stew?" He croaked out to his pale friend, his voice getting more normal with each use. It sounded as though he hadn't used it often, not nearly often enough. And he hadn't.
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 8:03 am
Baniru forcefully plucked Karma off of the floor and rushed him back into the bathroom, her teeth clenched in anger. There were a few hissed words before she emerged again, a perfect smile on her face.
"Yes... well," the woman remarked warily, still eyeing the man with a cautious eye, "I would like to know who exactly you are, coming into my house and deplinishing my things- I would like to know what happened to Aura, if you please- for you are clearly not her and I don't believe she's ever spoke of you, if at all."
Her head nodded to Ruli, sprawled out in the covers, and she watched the man give the poor child water.
"Tell me what this is all about, and your reward will be my dinner."
Baniru had changed in the few months that Aura had not seen her. She was forceful, more wary and aloof- she held her food from the starving duo as any Sphinx might. Paternal instincts were in full force... she wouldn't hesitate to kill even her best friend if they advanced on her child or herself or tried to take over their house.
Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.
That's the lesson she learned.
Karma was peeking through the doorcrack in the bathroom, trying to soak it all up. He was on all fours against the grungy linoleum, his tongue out to the side in a childish manner.
"Mabadabadada... ?" he whispered to himself curiously, before shaking his eager little head. No no, Aura wasn't that...
Then what was he?
At least, Karma thought it was a he. He wasn't too sure anymore, I mean there were various flat chested women and girly men walking about Aekea.
Genders were so confusing!
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:11 pm
Her words hit him like a scorpian's tail, poisonous and suspicious.
But, then again, it was true that he didn't look much like himself. The only proof that he was Aura (other than the similar appearance) was Ruli's trust, and the toddler was spread-eagled and asleep for the moment and could not testify.
He sighed, deeply, inwardly enjoying the way the water sloshed in his shrinking stomach, taking a seat on the bed again.
Astrum ran his hands through his hair - a habit he had not lost from her - and wondered how to begin.
"Baniru, my friend," he began finally, softly, a voice more like her own than his had ever been, "I'm not a woman anymore. I'm Aura, but in spirit only."
He wondered if she would accept this, for the first time - he was truly afraid that Baniru would see him as a threat, a change, just like those men...
"I had cancer. I had surgery. I was evicted, and beaten to pieces, and broke. I came to you because I didn't know where else to go -" his voice broke, after only a few halting sentences, and he looked at Ruli.
God, those weeks had been torture.
"I had to save him," he muttered, barely audible.
If Astrum's words were script, this was barely legible.
"Please believe me."
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:23 pm
Baniru squinted her eye at the man suspiciously- she had two the last time they met, and her composure wasn't so wispy and pale- before trudging to the stove and turning off the burner.
"You had surgery that turned you into a man because of cancer," the woman repeated for confirmation, getting out bowls and spoons and the noises of clattering porcelain, "And the people despise you for it, I suppose. But what is new- people despise anyone for anything, these days."
"Banbaaaaan..." came soft whine from the bathroom, and the woman threw her hands to her sides in exasperation.
"Help yourself..." Baniru hissed cautiously, before striding to the bathroom. There were more hisses and a loud smack, and the woman re emerged with a small hand imprint on her face.
She did not look happy.
"Now Karma, sit and be a good boy. Play with your toys, now."
She gingerly rubbed her cheek, a look of pure disgust on her features.
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:34 pm
Well, this isn't turning out as well as I hoped, Astrum thought as the worried anxiety piqued in his stomach region.
And that eye. Why had he not noticed it?
How had that happened at all? How had...
He had to stop himself, as he always had had to do, from thinking too much.
There was food to be had. And... And maybe a friend's trust to gain back.
He was flat out terrified, to tell truth. Baniru seemed so disgusted, and she was hiding away the little black haired toddler - from him, as he now realized it. He spooned out a very healthy portion of the stew, and was about halfway through it (eating much faster than he had ever though possible for anyone to chew and swollow and not choke) when he remembered that Ruli had had no food as well.
He dashed to the bed - balancing the bowl with some gravatational ease - and slowly began to shake the boy awake.
"Ru," he cooed, tilting his voice just that little bit higher, so it resembled Aura, "Ru, wake up. Food. Food~"
Ruli stirred. Food was the wakeup call.
One bleary, nearly white eye opened, and Astrum nearly pried open the boy's mouth.
When the spoon came up a short while later, it held only broth. Ruli was quickly falling asleep again.
Astrum let him, tucking him back in and turning to Baniru with an obvious worry, his - her - trademark expression.
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:45 pm
Quietly Baniru watched Aura move- watched him balance, watched him scarf his food, watch him try to dance some to the toddler- before she quietly went to the stove and spooned a small bowl full. The woman knelt down and gave it to Karma.
And Karma accepted it gratefully. Yum!
While the toddler was chowing down, Baniru turned on the man, frowning.
"You give the looks like she gives, you talk like she talks, yet you are not her. You smell the same, you have the same child, yet you are not her. Your mind.. do I want to know what has happened to it? Do I want to know what you might do to my baby and myself, probably here to gain my trust and then rape me somehow- steal my things, make off like the Cheshire cat into the night?"
"I don't trust you," she barked out coldly, eyeing him with shame and disgrace, "I'm not going to ask you to leave, but be wary that I'm watching you."
The woman eventually sat down on the bed next to him as well- nearly hypocrytical to her words. She was staring intently at Ruli, noticing the boy was famished and tired.
"Let me take care of him," she offered without bothering to look at the man, "there are coins on the counter and a shower room downstairs. Go."
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:02 pm
Astrum looked like a beaten man. Emotionally, of course.
He should have expected this. Nothing is ever as good as what you plan it to be.
"I-I'd never do that," he said softly; bowed in shame, a betrayed feeling welling in his throat and burning in his heart: a cold flame.
He turned his head away, rubbing his nose on his arm as it quickly stuffed itself up, trying to hold off the tears. Wavering eyes that were very green watched Ruli sleep for a moment.
He trusted Baniru absolutely to take care of Ruli while he was gone - he knew her, he knew that she wouldn't hurt a kid. Especially not Ruli. Who could hurt Ruli?
'Cept them, of course, but they were brutes.
He stood. "Th-thank you. That would be much appreciated." His eyes were averted from her own, waves of disgrace flowing from him.
Aura never wanted to become a man, but now - now was when he felt guilty and filthy. He knew it was against nature.
He was against nature.
He grabbed a few coins blindly, shoulders hunched, and made his way to finding where the hell the shower room actually was.
Ruli was drifting. Sleep and hunger had crippled the child for so long, he wondered if it had all been a horrible niet-mair.
Bed. He was in a warm and comfortable bed, with a full stomach. Yummy beef, something he recognized by the warm feeling flowing through him.
He was alone in bed. Very alone. Was Aura still in sur-geh-i?
No. He had a long times memory after that, of Astrum Aura.
He didn't want to open his eyes. Maybe if he stayed, just like this, Aura - no, Astrum - would come back to bed and they could cuddle up and she could tell him a story, or something nice.
Maybe if he stayed, just like this, Aura would be a woman again.
Maybe if he was still enough, time could go backwards.
And everything could be a bad dream.
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:19 pm
Gently she listened to Aura leave, before taking Ruli off of his place in the bed, and into her arms. Baniru cradled the toddler softly there, against her chest, humming... a small smile happening to flit across her face before it fled.
"You're a sweet little thing, very beautiful..." she whispered to no one in particular, taking the bands out of Ruli's dirty hair, "You'll need a shower too, I expect."
Karma finished his stew, staring at the empty bowl and spoon dissaprovingly. It was in his way! Stupid utensils, they never went where you wanted them to.
Then the little boy looked up at his mother, his head cocking to the side. What was that woman muttering about now-
Instantly, nearly instantly, jealousy flared up in the toddler so great that he felt it deep in the pit of his stomach.
That was HIS momma, those words were reserved for HIM, and only she was supposed to cradle HIM.
Angrily Karma stood, forgetting all about his few toys and empty bowl- oh no. He was after something much, much bigger now.
"BAN BAN!" the boy yelled in rage, toddling over as fast as possible to beat on her leg, "BAN BAN! BAN BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!"
He felt tears well up as he voice became screechy, as he stopped beating on his mother to try biting her.
Baniru, on the other hand, was just staring in shock. She easily moved her leg out of his scope, (trying not to shake Ruli up) before her brow furrowed.
"Karma, stop it! I said STOP IT THIS INSTANT!"
And magically he did. The room had gone dead silent, and the boy looked up from the worn, blue carpet to her eye.
"Ban BAN?" he muttered loudly, looking frightened.
"No! I'm tired of this Karma, go to the bathroom for a time out!"
"Ba-"
"GO."
It was not a statement, it was an order.
And go Karma did, if it was screaming the whole way, into the room and into the corner to be by himself.
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:33 pm
Ruli stiffened.
This wasn't Aura.
This wasn't Astrum.
He opened his purpling eyes wide at the sound of a voice, a raised tone from a far-away memory. Fear and confusion clutched at him, freezing his limbs better than ice.
And the voice he couldn't understand. Cooing, kind, but definently not Astrum. And then it was harsh and yelling at another voice, one unfamiliar, but younger - his age? His age.
His age? He had an age.
He stared at the face once his vision came to him.
He'd seen that face before.
Where?
When?
Why?
Baniru.
Something told him her name was Baniru.
Something told him he had been here before, and she had known him - but why couldn't he remember it? He felt that flutter of furiousity at himself again, at anything, and wondered at it.
Astrum found the showers. It took a minute, but he found them.
Stuck a few coins in, walked in (taking barely a second to hop out of the skinny jeans), and grabbed the soap as he hit on the water.
He mourned the loss of the long hair. It was a transition.
But that hair had meant something to him. Like rungs in a tree, he could remember dates and times and periods of life that each curl, each blonde streak, each browning stripe represented. It was her history, and now that he was a man it seemed oddly fitting that he should be so roughly cut off from it.
He rubbed at the shorter strands, feeling mud and blood and everything else that floats in the wind come out, staining the water. It was really gross, grotesque, and he was grateful that Baniru had let him use the coins.
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