|
|
| What are your thoughts on critiquing? |
| YES!!! |
|
48% |
[ 47 ] |
| Eh... |
|
49% |
[ 48 ] |
| NO!!! |
|
2% |
[ 2 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 97 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 11:34 am
The heavily cloaked figure moved through the streets, trying his best not to be noticed. He was still hungry. He stopped in the back alley near a restaurant, searching the garbage for fresh food. "Hey! You! What the hell you think you're doin'?" A voice from behind him spoke harshley. The figure turned his head to see this new arrival. It looked like a man in his twenties with a couple of friends around him. "Come on Jake, it's just a bum." said one of the other two. "No, I want to have fun with this one." the one called Jake smiled maliciously.
"Go awaay." he said, trying his best not to let his face show. "No no, I don't think you're in any position to tell me what to do." Jake said, while cracking his knuckles. He walked up to the figure, and stood over him. "Do you want to die? Huh?! Do you?!" Jake kicked the cloaked figure hard, knocking him over. "This guy's a pushover." he said, then turned back to his victim.
The cloaked figure's face had been uncovered. Jake immediately fell backwards, "Aaagh! What the hell are you?!" The cloaked figure stood up, towering high above the man. His friends abandoned him, leaving their comrade to his fate. "Yoouu aarre a baad perssonn." The figure picked the man up with one hand by the throat, and threw him against the wall. Jake landed with a resounding crack, and stopped moving.
The figure's breath became heavy, his fists clenched. Only bad people live here. He would fix that. He burst through the door to the restaurant, and began with the kitchen crew.
((Personally I like the motherly death god, she fits the one that spoke to my character the most. Sorry it took me so long to post, I had a few issues I needed to straighten out. Congrats again on the rp, by the way.))
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 12:09 pm
Ryn had finally finished his walk through the forest, and ended up going into the small mining town, his clawed toes clacking against the ground. The streets were near deserted, which suited Ryn just fine, since most humans ran screaming when they saw him, thinking him to be some sort of monster. Despite this he still felt a need to protect them, for despite their fear, he always saw some bravery when he walked into a crowded place. Women held their children, men stepped to the front, scared yet willing to protect their family with their life. Always it was the same, leaving him to explain he wished no harm to anyone, and always he was not completely believed.
Sighing, Ryn walked to the door of a bar, stopping in front of it, trying to decide whether or not to enter, before stepping out of the light, and into the dimly lit bar.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 12:23 pm
"Thank you for your quarterly report young Tâldaugion. Even this day I do not regret sending you to the Mortal Realm. I knew you would do splendidly, but my heart's desire to help the Mortals wanes with every passing moon you are not with me..."
He wished she would not fantasize about what could of been, what they once had. It had been real indeed, but foolish in the same. It was against all Elven rules, her High Majesty was never to take a lover for more than a fort night, but their romance had lasted beyond that, much more beyond than what was acceptable by their people. This one truth was kept hidden, that she had in fact fallen in love with the young boy from Bacwyr Wood, and he returned her love just as passionately, but now, he was bitter, and every ounce of his being had wished they had never been lovers at all, that they had never shared such a deep bond.
"We are the Beriadanwen, we have no time for such a foolish fancy, love can not dwell within us, even if we must rip it from our bodies and cast it aflame." He was not used to calling her or himself by such a name, which when roughly translated meant, defender of men. He was trying to bring her mind back to the tasks at hand, and away from the thoughts of him, that seemed to plague her mind, even after seven years apart. "I.....I must return to the Mortal Realm, every moment I spend here is time enough for the most foul of creatures to terrorize the people you charged me to protect."
Her jaw clinched and her eyes closed slowly, he had no knowledge of what she was thinking, but he had an idea of what she was feeling. "Nendir..." She whispered. But instantly after speaking her name her voice grew strong. "Leave me. I will expect another report in four months as always, but next time, send it along with your comrade instead, I have no want or desire to see you any sooner than I must."
With a flick of her wrist a pure white glow emanated from her palm, materializing even further just behind Nendirs back. "I said LEAVE ME!" Her eyes flashed an ominous dark green and in an instant her hands were upon his chest, she pushed hard, and with so much force the young Bawyr warrior was sent against the wind, his feet losing touch with the ground on which he had been standing and he was hurtled backward through the portal that would lead him back to the Mortal Realm.
~~~~~
His face hit the hard earth with a loud thud that boomed across the deepest parts of his mind. She had never lay a finger on him as long as he had known her, but now, he had changed all that with his harsh words. He lifted himself from the hard earth and looked around, regardless of where he was, he needed sleep. Realm Jumping to finesse, something which this jump had lacked greatly. He walked head held high through the forest until he came upon a small village.
"Where the hell am I? This isn't Chicago..." He mentally bruised himself, knowing that if he had chose his words more carefully, he would only be a few feet from his home in the city. He caught eye of a bar and headed in its direction, the tail of his robes trailing just above the dusty road as he walked. He knew that onlookers would instantly see he was out of place, but their stares, once he encountered the patrons of the village, were nothing new, after all, he look ethereal in his warrior robes.
He met the door with a firm hand and opened it slowly. It was the middle of the day and there was no wonder the bar was not packed to the brim with drunks, loose women, and the men who adored them. "Cold water will do." He said quietly too the man behind the bar. "Well water ain't free here boy!" Was the response he got, and in his agitated state he was too quick to react on his emotions. "Did I ask for a side of smart a** when I made my order? Just give the water, you'll get your damn money."
The bartender looked him over as if to get a feel for whether Nendir was joshing him, but obviously found none. He grabbed the largest glass he could find, filled it with cool water and handed it to Nendir. Young Tâldaugion tossed a coin onto the counter and took the glass in hand, making his way toward the front door of the bar. He stepped out into the sunlight an occupied one of the chairs next to the mediocre building.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:08 pm
Masaru blinked in disgust as her victim threw up. However, she helped hold him up, keeping up a fake friendly demeanor. "You're alright...get it all out," she crooned 'kindly'.
He started falling forward, but she braced him. He had passed out. She pouted. This was no fun. Luckily he had already pointed out his house, so she could simply deposit him there, slit his throat, and be done. She started carrying him in that direction.
(15 minutes later)
Masaru left the little house, wiping off her shoes and knife on the grass outside after looking around a bit. She was getting really angry. She walked back to the pub, fulling intending to pick another target. However, as she walked by the house next door to it she heard a family. As she listened, it became obvious it was two parents screaming at their son. She growled as she stood outside the pub watching the house, waiting for the street to clear a bit so she could go end their disputes with the edge of her blade. These types of situation always would provoke her rage the most.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:21 pm
[[ confused I hate being stuck.... stare ]]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:23 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:25 pm
[[In a grassy field, where Kind pops out of nowhere. He hasn't replied, yet... sad. crying ]]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:27 pm
"That smell...." It was as if rancid meat was slicing at his throat, and he had to resist the urge to vomit. He finished his water and looked around. "How can it be?...Here, in the middle of nowhe....." His verbal interrogation of his surroundings were halted mid sentence as his eyes fell upon her. "Purifier..." The word dripped from his lips with disdain and disgust as he lifted himself from his chair and made haste toward the intruder. He knew why she was standing still, no doubt sizing up her next victim, but who was it? And then his ear caught the sound of bickering in the background.
His hand rested on the handle of his katana as he quickly put himself between the deafening sounds of an argument and the Purifier at hand. "Are you planning on interfering with the Mortals?" He asked, a smile played across his lips but tugged more toward the left so his smile seemed crooked and sadistic. He didn't understand why the Purifiers thought so highly of themselves, picking on a race that had no way to defend themselves from the likes of their kind.
"My name is Nendir Tâldaugion of the Circle of Bacwyr, and if you aren't careful I will be the very last person you meet." His words burned with the desire to end her life. Not because they were enemies, no, it could not be something as trivial as that, but because of her ability to kill the helpless without so much as a second thought. He unsheathed his katana, his grip light but firm on the handle. He had hunted plenty of her kind, and the blood lust that teased her features was not mistakable.
"You can't go around interfering with their lives, even if you think there is a good cause." He didn't believe in interfering, how else could Mortals be judged unbiasedly? "ANSWER ME!"
The wind picked up and his robes swayed in unison. The dust licked at his feet and his hair whipped with the ferocity of a dragons tail when it is just about to strike. If she decided on a confrontation, then his blade would be ready to accommodate her desires, but the sting of it all would be less likely to arouse any of her senses.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:31 pm
((You're stuck? I haven't even made contact with another character.))
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:34 pm
((Ahh yes.. You must wait for kind before you can post... well that happens sometimes... Hopefully the problem will be fixed soon biggrin ))
Ryn was sitting in the dimly lit bar, his wings folded around him, covering most of his body from view. The bartender hadn't cared what he was, as long as he had money, which suited Ryn just fine, because he was tired of explaining his intentions for the moment. He glanced up as he saw someone enter the bar. An elf, by the looks of it. Ryn looked back to his drink, sitting, tiredly thinking about when he would be forced once again to fight, when he heard the elf speak, seemingly to a human. He heard the word Purifier, and spun to his feet, his wings knocking over his table, his eyes glinting in the semi dark. Slowly he walked towards the elf, who was at least a foot shorter than him, and stood directly behind him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:36 pm
((I'm a defender XD and I'm outside with a Purifier.))
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:37 pm
((I'm in a friggin' bar.))
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:38 pm
[[lol, hopefully. xd I mean... I know he's busy with his new RP and all the other ones he's in. I can be patient -sort of. sweatdrop Anyhoo, Solomon, there are people outside the pub is you wanna make contact. ^_^]]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:39 pm
((I'm a human, who was just aimlessly walking around the streets alone. but then I had to post, so I made it that her brother had to go find her cause she isn't allowed out alone, so now she's walking back to her house with her brother. and I have no clue where to go from there.))
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:42 pm
Akito stood by the ocean, the breeze billowed through her long, violet hair. It was so peaceful by the ocean, so unlike the feud between the Gods and the 'corrupt' humans, or to be more exact, the Purifiers and the Defenders. It was tiring. She felt the hilt of her katana strapped to her right hip and smile, but it was worth it.
((Hi... that's my introduction.))
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
