Welcome to Gaia! ::

Lauren shrugged as if she didn't care, which was a lie. "Eh, well I tried. We should just give him up for dead..." she woudl of went along with that but then remembered that Awen had changed, so he had to be somewhere around.

Then she looked at Awen confused, "I ran off?" She couldn't remember it. "I didn't run off." She said in a sarcastic voice as if she thought Awen was trying to pull one over on her. "Why would... I?" Then she remembered, oh s**t.

Well the rain helped to put aside feelings but when it came down to it, she was a teenage girl. They just came welling up again. Lauren covered herself in modesty. "There are lots of things... you don't know about me." she said. For once it was time to be honest.

Lauren started to blush a bit, nervous now not wanting to say anything that Awen said it was okay. Maybe she shouldn't say anything. She didn't want to ruin the friendship they had. "Well... yeah..." She said akwardly.

What was she so afraid of?

Maybe she should turn something around, "You have secrets too?" she asked back towards Awen.

Lauren internally scolded herself for being so childish. "I'm not used to people being understanding about this." She remembered her past, the people she lived with in the slums. She remembered Fire and she remembered Skull. Then she remembered all the other jerks that weren't worth anything that lived with her.

Lauren sighed and looked at Awen, she seemed so understanding and sympathetic. "Well, ******** it... Awen I'm bi... possibly gay. Hell I think I AM gay because I've not really been attracted to any guy since....." There was silence for a second.

She quickly followed this so that Awen would know. "But, I'm not looking for anything. I've had my heart broken before and it sucks a**." She blew out a sigh of relief. "That's a weight off my chest."

Of course there was another weight on her chest she wasn't saying yet... just testing the waters right now so to speak.

Lauren laughed a bit nervously, "Thanks I.. ur geuss." She looked over to Awen as she said her last statement, a bit hopeful and scared at the same time. So, she thought Lauren thought that she was bi... that was odd.

"NO! I didn't think you were... no really I didn't I uh... ********." she started laughing. "This is messed up."

She went back to being nervous, feeling like a kid in middle school. It would be easier to write a note, if you like me we can meet after class and play together on the swings and call eachother girlfriends. Life wasn't so easy now that Lauren was so close to being an adult, and even considered an adult in most countries and even a few states. "I... kind of just discovered something. I didn't think you would be uncomfortable with me after discovering I prefer women although it kind of crossed my mind. I just... felt something." There she went with the blushing again.

"But I don't want to feel it." God, she was digging a hole. Lauren waited for Awen to run away.

Lauren wanted to run away, hideing the truth was much easier than revealing it or so it seemed right now. "I'm not sure, I think so. God you probably think of me as some perverted idiot."

She looked Awen in the eyes, or at least tried to in order to read her response. Lauren had no clue what she was thinking but kept repeating in her mind, I'm such a dumbass "It.. they will probably go away I'm sure, no worries." She smiled nervously. "I can make them go away." But what if I don't want to she then asked herself. Her movements were jittery, her voice stammering. But at least the truth was out.

Lauren was surprised by the embrace. She wondered what Awen felt towards her, if she had even gotten that far yet. Lauren was sure she only thought of her as a friend, she had convinced herself that but she still hoped that maybe something more could happen.

She was only two years younger, that wasn't that much of a difference right? Or was it a huge gap? Lauren had no clue. She was just happy to be hugged. She started crying, the old Lauren before the pain, before her mother's death was comming through past the walls of her crude, lying, shell of sarcastic rudeness.

"So... do you like that I feel this way?" Lauren said quietly through tears still in the embrace. She needed the truth, then she could work from there.

Lauren had nearly forgotten all about Jamal. "He... broke your heart!" she said with slight malice. She still had feelings for him too, "WHAT did he do?" He was a sleeze, Lauren knew that from the beginning. She wanted to hurt him.

She had no clue this was old news. She was rejected, she thought as much from the beginning but was not surprised. Still hope left her eyes. "I... thought I wasn't ready either. But my heartbreak had been even before I came to the island." More tears came, "We can be friends, really I don't WANT anything more either, I just... they came at me and I looked back and realised WHY I was so rude to Jamal when I first met him."

Lauren got up, she wanted so badly to hit Jamal. She knew she couldn't take him, but she could try and maybe being knocked out by him would feel good considering.

Well, she didn't loose anything at least. "I need some time." Lauren got up wanting to get out of the tree, but Awen was right there at the entrance. She wiped away some tears, pouring down like rain. How embarassing.