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 Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 11:05 am
((Enter C- oh crap! Gotta be incognito . . . Fatass may be looking! Err . . . enter . . . the Margaritaville Avenger!))
"Margaritaville Avenger" . . . Of all the names you could make for a superhero and THAT'S what you come up with?!?
"Shush! I'm kinda busy!"
If you get captured as well . . . then I really don't think the Legion of Superheroes OR the Pirate Crew you were with are gonna come save your a**.
" . . . Pessimist."
Anyways, keeping low and in the shadows, C.J. snuck around as much as he could, slipping into shadows as he went to find where he parked the batmobile . . . after almost being hit by a car trying to cross the street.
"WHERE'D YOU LEARN TO DRIVE?!? MARIO KART!?" he screamed at the car and went to cross the street.
Well, so much for secret.
"AAAAAH, SHADDAP!!!"
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 11:09 am
The car was right where CJ had left it. In just the shape he had left it. Untouched...and in this kind of a city that was...rare. For a car like this anyway. Anything that looked like a bat mobile was still a bat mobile. And would sell for a pretty penny.
But...nothing seemed wrong. Everything was fine.
Perhaps he had just parked it in a good space. After all, no one snoops around an area even close to the King Pin
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Elmira of Elkwood Captain
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 11:13 am
"See?! Nothing bad happens. It's like I got a good luck charm or something!"You've been hanging around Abby too long, haven't you? "Shush. I've got fourth wall powers that rival that blue dude from Disney. What's the WORST that could happen?!"And that's when he set off the car alarm.
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 11:27 am
And, strangely still....nothing happened. A few people who were walking by stopped and stared at the car, but then just kept right on walking. Minding their own business.
Something did cast a shadow over the car from the rooftop very briefly, but that was the most that happened. Well...and perhaps that odd feeling of buzzards circling overhead, but there were no buzzards in the city.
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Elmira of Elkwood Captain
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 2:21 pm
Oh my god, what the hell was that?!?
"What the hell was what?"
That shadow thing that appeared over the car! Tell me you saw that.
"Relax . . . it was probably just a pigeon or something."
AT NIGHT?!?
"WE'RE OUTTA HERE!"
C.J. hopped behind the wheel of the Batmobile, taking off the steering lock he put on and fired up the engine. Looking around, he quickly hauled a** out of there. He had NO intentions of staying for very long! In almost every gear change, he left rubber as he went back for Misty . . . or intended to . . . apparently, of all things, he had . . . it was a flat.
"Oh THIS is gonna be ********' RICH at the Triple-A hotline. 'Hi, this is C.J. I got a flat on the Batmobile. Do you have a spare?' OY FREAKIN' VEY!!!"
Not to mention you parked in front of the building owned by the guy juuuuust behind Savage on the "People Whose Asses I Want to Kick" list.
" . . . ********>
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 10:21 am
At that moment, a pair of very long katana blades slipped from around the back of the seat and stopped in a crossed position against CJ's neck. Close enough that the blades were resting on his skin, but far away enough that they weren't drawing blood. Yet. One wrong move, and both blades would be yanked back, probably decapitating the man. A woman tisked from behind the seat.
"Well this is disappointing." Typhoid sighed as she sat up. Moving off of the floor of the back seat and into what little seat there was in the back. "And here I was hoping you'd be able to stop and pick up your little girl friend before I had to do this."
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Elmira of Elkwood Captain
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 10:31 am
Well . . . this was surprising.
"Hey, Typhoid." C.J. said deadpan-like as he calmly started searching for the Bat-spare gadget. After all, Bruce DID have one, didn't he? "So I guess you and the Boss Hogg wannabe are still a little sore about that, huh?" he asked . . . oddly enough trying to be very calm. Like Chuck Yeager calm.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?! WE'RE GONNA DIE thanks to Typhoid and you're just gonna sit there CALM like?!? Da HELL's your major malfunction?!?
"Relax. We defeated her before, remember?"
Barely. Misty pulled us out before you were in any REAL harm. OH! Go back, you passed the gadget we need.
"The Ejector seat? The Bat protection-from-batshit-crazy-two-face-wanna-be-with-katanas-at-my-NECK?!"
No, Spare tire.
"Ooooooh. Gotcha."
Around that time, C.J. found the switch again for the spare. If all goes well, he could get out of this. If not, well . . . we should warn Misty.
"Like she's gonna believe THIS."
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 10:37 am
The two katanas tightened around his neck. "Yes...the big man and I are a little sore about this. He wants to see you for a nice little talk. But me..." she said, then leaned up and placed her head next to his to whisper into his ear. "I'd rather just light you on fire right here and now. Spontaneous combustion can happen to any one..." she whispered.
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Elmira of Elkwood Captain
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 10:47 am
"Well, I'm afraid you're gonna have to wait. Busy schedule to uphold, being a badass and all. Besides, you're bad guys, I'm a good guy. We're in the world's largest superhero story. Matter fact, I'd say the bad guys lose so much, they're only one big side of heroes rejected." he said with a casual flair as he went for the rear ejection seat after fixing the tire, smiling deviously. The turbines still whining with power.
"Or in your case . . . E-jected. Buh bye now." he said with a chuckle and threw the switch.
"Did . . . we just use that CHEESY one-liner?"
Worth it. Admit it . . . Reject? E-Ject?! It's gonna be a hit!
"This trump's Deadpool's 'if there's smoke, somebody's playing with Electricity' line in the STUPID department."
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 10:56 am
The roof of the car burst open, startling Typhoid just enough to draw her swords away from CJ's neck. The seat under her shot upwards, taking her with it.
While she was shot into the air, the car itself was lifted off of the ground. Rendering the fixed tire useless. The ground under the car began to shift, and lifted off of the ground. What sand was doing on the streets of New York was anyone's guess. What it was doing traveling up the side of the car and into the open roof was another.
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Elmira of Elkwood Captain
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 11:04 am
"AW ******** THIS s**t!!!"
C.J. cranked up the jet turbines, letting loose the afterburners as well . . . the driver cursing a red hot and blue streak about Fisk, about Fisk's buddies, about Fisk's MOTHER, about the guys who had his buddies detained . . . and definitely showed a familiarity of the multiple uses of a certain four letter word that rhymes with "truck" in English, French, Spanish, Tagalog (?!), Hindustani (?!?!) and . . . was that FINNISH?!?!?
"I wikipedia-ed most of this!!"
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 11:13 am
The jets helped to pull the car out of Sandman's grip. But not before Mary had finally landed from her leap off of the ejected seat. Landing on the hood of the car, and slamming both her katanas as hard as she could into both the window and the hood of the car.
She did NOT look happy. In fact the seat beside CJ began to catch fire out of the blue.
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Elmira of Elkwood Captain
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 11:24 am
Benoit, now would be a good time to PANIC!!!!
"I'M ALREADY ******** PANICKING!!!!!!!!!!"
Now indeed scared shitless, he turned on the communicator to the Batcave. The message inscribed is exactly how it was said through the Batmobile communicator in all its glory. Reader discretion is highly advised. If anyone's RPING on Gaia at work and/or school and have the language sensors off, go somewhere else NOW.
"Breaker breaker, this is C.J. Benoit from the Batmobile. I'm in dire need of some ******** assistance thanks to the cronies of that ******** assclown Fisk, who since I had to rescue someone from them, have relentlessly been turning my ******** life UPSIDE DOWN! I'm currently in New York, going about two hundred miles an hour tryin' to shake off a real goddamn two-face reject who wants to turn me into a ******** SHISH KEBAB!! Some ASSISTANCE WOULD REALLY BE ******** APPRECIATIVE!!!!!" he growled through the microphone, trying to shake off Typhoid and put out the fire that started in the cockpit at the same time.
I think with that call alone, we have just slid into rated "R" territory, Benoit.
"I'M GONNA ********' DIE, and THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT?!?!?"
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 11:37 am
Typhoid held on tightly, using her swords to brace herself and hold onto the car. The flames moved from the seat and over to the drivers seat as she tried to make him stop the car.
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Elmira of Elkwood Captain
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 11:43 am
C.J. . . . ?
"WHAT NOW?!?"
You're on fire.
"You pick NOW to try to make me fall for that stupid joke again!? We're about to become Free Range Hero Kebabs and YOU want to make that stupid joke again?!?"
No, listen to me dammit! YOU REALLY ARE ON FIRE!!!
"s**t!!!"
C.J. flew out of the ejector seat after securing the gas pedal down. Since the character's more or less comic relief in a serious situation, only his a** caught fire, leaving him to run around in circles before dunking his butt in a bucket of water.
"That was cl- oh s**t!" he growled before darting for Misty. s**t had hit the fan!
((Exit C.J. towards Surrounding Area of New York City))
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