|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 4:34 pm
Chapter 38 Added!
@Fish - That is exactly what I was going for!
@Godstone - I am so using that idea, thanks!
@Echo - Will do.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 4:53 pm
Trenn seems like a pyro.
But great chapter.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 4:59 pm
Great chapter. They seemed to have had a lot of fun blowing that place up xd
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 7:38 pm
Just read the entire story from Ch 1. It was a long read, but it was definitely fun. keep up the good work, Seaphron
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 7:43 pm
Must have taken awhile...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 7:44 pm
Good chapter. I like how you used Twilight Princess with the 'black creatures' attacking Hyrule.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 7:59 pm
At first I thought you had given me a love interest. Then I find out that it's my adopted little sister! xd Gross. Nice chapter, anyway, but it was a little too short for my taste. Just work on length and pacing, and you'll be writing very, very well. 3nodding
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:12 am
As normal i loved it, your writing gets better and better xd
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:36 pm
@LF - Pyro? Nice I was hoping for a bit of a more evil tone, I guess that didnt come out that well. Thanks!
@Aku - Thanks!
@Tatsu - Woot another new reader! So how long did it take you? Thanks for reading!
@Masamune - Thanks, I am going to lead into that a bit but I am trying to stay away from revealing the story. There wont be too much on it.
@The Fish - xd I thought you wouldnt see that coming when I wrote it. Short? Wow I thought that it was reasonable. Oh well, at least I am getting better right?
@Godstone - Thanks for the feedback as always!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:41 pm
I just get picky with chapter length. I want more for updates! *cracks whip* scream But yes, in all seriousness, you are getting better, although there are still some grammar issues and parts that drag a bit, I love the story!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:43 pm
Damn myself! As you can tell grammar isn't my best class. What parts would you say recently have dragged on a bit.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:00 pm
Seaphron Damn myself! As you can tell grammar isn't my best class. What parts would you say recently have dragged on a bit. Just tiny parts like when everyone is getting onto their machines and it goes: "Are you ready?" Trenn asked. "Yeah, let's do this!" Fartface replied. And they hopped into their Arwings and flew away.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:12 pm
Yeah, I see what you mean, just that extra bit that was squeezed in.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:43 pm
Seaphron
Woot another new reader! So how long did it take you? Thanks for reading!
About 8 hours all together. I read it over a period of 2 days.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:47 pm
Wow. I love how you made me! I'm flying! FLYING!!! eek
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
