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"I saw what i saw, and it wasnt the normal for you Neko... You say you have no reason to hide and yet you do. You say you cant not risk emotion and yet i saw something. You dont get that its already done things to us. You are acting different and so am i. Neko you down right punched me, could have broken my jaw and yet you heal a wound thats bleeding? You decided to heal it because i complained, and youve never done that over such a simple thing." Ishira sighed but watched him. He seemed nervous to her, but she could be reading him wrong. She took in a deep breath when he did, and released it as he did.
"Is it bad that i want to know more about you? That i want to learn about my teacher? You say your weak, and in this form thats hard to believe. Youve always been strong Neko, if it wasnt physical power it was mental. " Ishira touched her lap and something else came to mind. She wasnt her fox, or her hikari.. She couldnt sense things she wanted to...

"Emotions, i want to know why. Why did you feel anything Neko? I have done nothing to deserve that." She became uneasy, she squeezed one hand with the other and kept her eye contact with him.

"Why is it wrong for you to feel emotions? As far as ive seen they havent been that bad nor have they lead to anything too horrible. We sit her still as student and teacher and as far as i know you and i dont want it going any further then that... If im wrong though, i want to know... " She glanced down at her fingers and sighed. She shouldnt worry, no, she was more likely not. But if she was.. Would that change things? She didnt want to think about it. "What was your reason behind our actions? Other then letting me have something i wanted... Why would it matter if i got that?" She was being careful to cover any questions with others that would get her answers she didnt know, rather then the ones she did.

Ishira understood far too well what he was talking about. Her grip tightened on her hand and she went to say something but nothing came out. How could she say she understood, when she didnt know when her time would end. He had a very good idea, and unlike him she was... a bit safer. She wrestled with her feelings on this one. Being the way she was had kept her on the edge for so long.. Tutsumi had really been the only one she had stayed with even when she knew she shouldnt. He had been spared when he was away, because they came after her, even here...
"Five years... " She wondered if she even had that time... Ishira shook her head, this wasnt about her. "Why would you waste your time hiding and missing your chances to be with a person you cared for Neko. I understand you could lose it, trust me i do. I understand the fear but i also know that trying to block those emotions never work. In the end youll die knowing you missed your chance in something that youve wanted... What about Ally? Isnt she like you? She fully indulges in her emotions, and yet your not allowed to? Neko please, i didnt want you to do anything that you wouldnt want. I dont want to think that our actions were only because im too selfish.."

Ishira had never heard his reasons for the experiments but she never once thought they he did them for anything but some kind of good. She smiled, that explained why her fox was wary of them. While she had the urge to kill them on site and didnt like the way they smelled. It also explained why her Hikari and Darkness hid from them. They were powerful, but also very weak.

"I never thought you would do anything that was meant to destroy or kill everything. I knew there was a reason but never thought ill of them myself. You may be strong, you may hurt and you may even be down right an a**, but Neko ive never once thought you did things for any other purpose. I knew what the others said was wrong, i knew i could trust you even when i saw you beat the s**t out of Ally... I just didnt know your plan was something that would help practically everyone... I wish you had longer, and i wish i could be of more help to you... but here i am asking questions, and still i cant stop them.." She growled, not at him but at herself. She was down right selfish, and horrible. She wished she could bring Neko more.. "I understand, truly i do.. Ive wanted a family of my own for a while... Something true and not fake, nothing like what i had with Tutsumi. God hes so ******** lucky... If he hadnt left so many times hed be dead by now..." She moved the hair out of her eyes with a sigh and looked at him with a slight smile.
"Over four hundred years i have been running.. Im not what is acceptable by any of my clan, my mothers clan or my fathers clan. Ive been hunted Neko, even here, so i have never settled. I take what i can, learn what i can and i leave because i dont know the day ill die. I dont know the day ill run into the one person that will kill me. Ive tried to start something for myself, ive tried to settle. Two other times they died, and i had to run again. " She bowed her head and then took a deep breath. "Why cant you start a family. Why cant you let yourself live the time that you have. I understand your need to continue your work and im not saying you should stop. But hell, Ally wants your child, and she would understand if you continued to work. Shes young.. And your child, maybe it could continue on with your research, just so it isnt a smug in the dirt. If anything if i still lived i would come.. I would offer my help for you.."

So she wasnt... Was that suppose to be good? Ishira didnt know, but her chest tightened. A sad look came across her face and she hid it under the cover of her long hair as she looked away from him.

"I saw hope in Tutsumi, hope that he would take me and i could have the family i wanted... I thought id be safe when i came to the GNA. It had been a while since a hunter had found me.... Tutsumi took me only for the fact he knew nothing about me. I kept everything a secret from him, and forged a relationship in hopes that my past would be erased. I fell in.. love.. over time and when nothing came for me i thought i could have a child. I lost our child though... My body wouldnt let me keep it, like its done so many times before..." Thinking back on that hurt, causing Ishira to stop. She had been left alone then, like a broken toy throw aside until it was fixed. She hadnt been able to keep a child. Each time ended with pain and blood, and only the first time had she ever carried the child to birth. "My only child died in front my eyes two days after her birth... Since then, ive become a poison to any child that settled in my womb...." Another pause, another breath, and more hiding the pain she felt deep inside her.

" Neko, i find something in you thats like me. For some reason i connected with you and i cant stray from it. I want to understand it, but i know thats going too far and i wont allow myself any time to even think of this as much more then trust and possibly a friendship. If i think anything else, im lost, im alone. Maybe my mind is in hope again... " She thought on it, maybe thats why she had been attracted to practically everyone... They all had the possibilities to give her what she wanted, a home, love, and maybe a child. They gave her hope that she wouldnt have to run anymore, that she could stay some where and be safe... Here she was save, with Neko, hidden away from the world, but what about when he was gone? What if some one found her here? She didnt want to put him in that kind of situation... "Im a danger to you... " She whispered, before getting up herself. She wasnt sure if she should follow or run. He had a short amount of time, what if her being here made it shorter....

Ishira gathered herself. Talking about children shed never had was hard for her and talking about her past scared her. She like him lived in fear, all of her life devoted to finding a way to protect herself. She trained not to get stronger, but to be prepared. Strength was never everything... Tactic and the ability to think through the toughest situations was going to be the only thing to save her. He had said she was strong, which sent a nice feeling through her, but she knew otherwise.

"You didnt exile me from anything.. I came here on my own will, after Kaimen threatened my life. I had nothing left there and what is a haven when i still had hunters coming for me? I left three years ago because one had found me and i was gone for over a year... When i came back, i had almost nothing left here. I would have gladly died then Neko, i would have let Ally kill me in that fight." She shook her head lightly. After losing the last child she had almost given up. "I didnt let the hunter kill me because he went after my old village, and i went to protect them... Id rather die by my choice, and challenging your student was my choice. Im not strong like you say, losing the last child broke something in me..."

She covered her eyes before anything could come from them. So weak, she felt so horribly weak. She wasnt sure what he would do if he saw this, considering now he was back to his cold almost distant self. When the spell of possible tears faded she pulled her fingers through her hair and looked at him sternly.

"I want a friendship, and happy that you think you can protect me, but if anything comes, allow me to get them away from you. Ill teach you what i can about Hikari, it is a healing element and also an element of life... I am your student for now, and will be until you ask me to leave or something forces us appart." Her face softened and she dropped both hands to her sides. "But Neko... Even if you cant have children, youve created them in your experiments... I envy that, i envy the knowledge you have that allows you to do the things you do...."

Ishira narrowed her eyes, watching him change and wondering what was about to happen. She felt a bit uneasy and was tempted to take a step away from him.
"Motoko has her ways about things, and as far as the others, ive seen their devotion to you and how they see you. You created them, to them you might as well be their parent...." She watched his movements, the way he was starting to act. It wasnt something thing she was liking and she didnt want him to cut her off. Something strangely reminded her of the other times she had seen him before.

"I may have this strength but so far i havent gained the knowledge... Ill trust your not wrong, for i have no room to argue with you on it.." She looked back into his eyes, and flinched. She was startled to see the change in them, though she should have been. Ishira took a few steps to him, slowly, and then raised her hand to his cheek, encouraging him to look at her so she could see the finer details of his eyes. His skin was becoming like her own natural color which also interested her, but for now, she wanted to see his eyes. She wanted to see what was in them, and know that he had changed, that he was backing away from her again and becoming distant. "What are you doing Neko?"

Ishira felt fine hair under her fingers and then her palms. She watched him look at her like she was a threat or possibly prey... That thought seemed to send a cool rush through her, like she had just jumped into the water. His hair grew, and she watched with amazement as it did. That was something she hadnt seen before. She had seen things change, such as eyes, and body, but hair? No, she had never seen hair change from one color to another like that, or grow so quickly. Granted her hair grew very quick now when she was whole, but most of the time it wasnt in spurts like this. Ishira was tempted to touch again but his voice caught her.

"Your emotions.." Ishira lowered her hand from his cheek and trailed it down to his chest. She looked at it, figuring out exactly what she wanted to say. "Im sorry if ive brought you such pain that you had to change yourself... It doesnt please me to have done that.." She stepped away, leaving her hand on him until she couldnt any longer. Looking up to him, she took in each little difference, from his skin, to his, to his hair, and lastly his eyes.