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 Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2006 7:54 pm
Heh, I'm kinda hanging around.
*sigh* I should be packing for my flight tomorrow; gotta fly across the country to go back to college.
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Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2006 7:55 pm
have fun with that. Ive been at college since the third.
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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2006 9:04 pm
Random Tip of the Wise Guy Smartiasse:
Don't throw stones in glass houses without proper protection.
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Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2006 10:30 pm
I was at my friends' band's concert.
they ******** ripped
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Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2006 11:11 pm
I was putting the ribs on my almost-life-size skeleton for Anatomy class. Poked myself under the fingernail with a metal brad and drew blood. Not that anyone cares.
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 10:54 am
Durza the Shade I was putting the ribs on my almost-life-size skeleton for Anatomy class. Poked myself under the fingernail with a metal brad and drew blood. Not that anyone cares. That's gross.
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 12:03 pm
Well, I was supposed to be out of town for the weekend.
I got sick instead.
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 3:24 pm
Lmao.
I just read the first 10 pgs of the Cantina.
I was a n00b a year ago.
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 3:27 pm
I at least don't sound like a noob often....
But then again, lemme check the first ten pages. I think I sound ignorant...
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 4:30 pm
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 4:40 pm
Whoo. I'm back in college, and I'm probably jetlagging or something.
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 4:48 pm
I probably was more conservative... But, as they always say: "Even a fish wouldn't get caught if it didn't open its mouth."
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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 7:29 pm
I read a news article about this cow, Molly, that runs from law enforcement people and escapes being sent to the slaughterhouse. I made my own spoof of it, which you will now be froced to read. MUAHAHA! twisted
Cow Behind Bars
Prison Guard 1: * walking by the cells * Lights out! That icludes you Sam.
Sam: Meh, whatever...
Prison Guard 1: Time to turn everything off Butch.
Butch: Dang it... And I wanted to see The Goonies. * grumble *
Prison Guard 1: You too, Bertha.
Bertha: MooooOOOOOOOooooo! * headbutts cell door, breaching it *
Prison Guard 1: What the!? WE GOT A BREAK!
Bertha: * charges out, rams the guard, runs for it *
Prison Guard 2: EMERGENCY LOCKDOWN! BREAK IN D WING! TAKE HER DOWN!
* several guards rush into D Wing to stop Bertha *
* Bertha plows through them, comical bowling sound *
Prison Guard 2: STEEEEEERIKE! Oh wait... I'm supposed to stop you. GET BACK HERE!
* Benny Hill chase music as Bertha and chasing guards round the cell block a few times *
Bertha: MooooOOOOOoooo! * rams through door, breaking into the next area of the prison *
Prison Guard 3: SHE'S GETTING AWAY! OPEN FIRE! OPEN FIRE! * pulls out gun, fires *
* guns are now blazing, unfortunately, as in most chase scenes, the cops FOR SOME REASON, can't aim worth crap *
* Bertha busts through the main prison doors, and is now outside *
Prison Guard 4: SHE'S OUTSIDE! SOUND THE ALARMS! SPOTLIGHTS!
* alarms are blaring, spotlights are on her, Bertha charges the front gate *
* Bertha breaks through, running into the street *
* police cars are now on the road in hot pursuit *
Cop 1: So I got promoted after that, and here I am.
Cop 2: That's cool, Sarge. But what about-
Intercom: All units be on the lookout for an escaped cow. Be advised suspect is hooved and extremely beefy.
Cop 1: Well, we got a job to do now. * floors it, turns on siren *
Bertha: MoooooOOOOOOOooooo! * jumps onto car, then off to the other side, and continues running *
Cop 2: SARGE LOOK OUT! * police car collides with the one Bertha just jumped, other police cars collide with that one in a chain reaction, all cops get out and continue the chase on foot *
Rodney: ( bull on a motorcylce sporting shades and leather jacket ) * rides up beside Bertha * Moo?
Bertha: Moo! * hops on, suprisingly, the bike doesn't break apart, and can somehow maintain speed... WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, A PHYSICS MAJOR!? *
Announcer: We'll be right back to Cow Behind Bars after this word from our sponsors.
Commercial Woman: Are you tired of annoying people?
Commercial Guy: Why yes I am. I can't stand being annoyed all day long.
Commercial Woman: Well then, we have great ne-
Commecial Guy: Especially the ones that just jabber jabber jabber.
Commercial Woman: Yes, as I wa-
Commercial Guy: Or those ones that just nag you to death.
Commercial Woman: Let me fini-
Commercial Guy: And then those othe-
Commercial Woman: SHUT UP! * bashes the guy's head with a steel bat *
Commercial Guy: Derr... Hassawabbadohickey kilo uniform tango? * collapses *
Commercial Woman: Bash 'Em. The answer to any annoynance.
Announcer: Now back to Cow Behind Bars.
Rodney: Moo?
Bertha: MooooOOOOOoooo!
* Rodney takes Bertha to a McDonald's *
McD's Employee: May I take your order?
Bertha: Moo moo. Moooo! Moo moo moo. MooOOOOOO! Moo?
Rodney: Moo.
* Bertha goes into the bathroom, Rodney gives order *
McD's Employee: * into the mic * 2 McFlurries and 2 large fries, to go. * to the bull * That'll be-
Cop 1: We're looking for an escaped cow. Has anyone seen one come by here?
* toilet flushes, Bertha comes out *
Bertha: Moo moo... * runs *
Cop 2: GET HER! * gives chase *
* Bertha runs off into the street again, heading for the dock *
Cop 2: We're not gonna make it!
Cop 1: We'll make it!
* the cops " commandeer " the pogo sticks of 2 kids nearby and continue the chase *
* Bertha runs and jumps off the end of the dock, landing on the deck of a passing cruise liner *
Cop 2: Dang it! And we were so close!
Cop 1: We can still catch her, don't worry.
Cop 2: No we can't.
Cop 1: What do you mean?
Cop 2: The script says she escapes recapture by jumping onto a cruise liner and gets away.
Cop 1: Lousy piece of crap! WHO WROTE THIS JUNK!? * looks offset to see a ticked-off Darkened Angel sitting in the director's chair *
DA: Junk huh? TAKE THIS THEN!
* DA rewrites script *
* Cop 1 explodes for no apparent reason *
* DA laughs maniacally, other offset crew look worried about her sanity *
( Elsewhere )
Rookie Spork: So how'd that bust go... how long ago was it?
Sgt. Kirk: 3 months. And it was halfway accomplished. I dressed up like a merchant and proceeded with a sting operation cracking down on prostitution.
Rookie Spork: Yeah?
Sgt. Kirk: Yeah. I found this little kid pimping his cow, offering her for a handful of magic beans.
Rookie Spork: That's just... disturbing...
Sgt. Kirk: I know. Anyways, I busted the cow, but the kid used the beans to make some giant beanstalk and climbed it out of our jurisdiction, so I couldn't chase after him. He got away clean.
Rookie: Spork: What happened then?
Sgt. Kirk: Chief demoted me from Captain and promoted a new one... That guy... Pecan.
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 10:52 pm
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 10:59 pm
FrozenPhoenix32 Lmao. I just read the first 10 pgs of the Cantina. I was a n00b a year ago. *reads* Wow. Yeah, you were. From Page 4: I don't know why, but I found this uproariously funny.
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