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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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 Posted: Sat Feb 01, 2025 11:08 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 02, 2025 12:11 am
  
Indeed he did have a couple of questions of his own. Before his little outburst he had been trying to get them all out but had to stop due to his own frustrations. Samuel didn't know if Micha would answer them now or if he even wanted to talk. It felt as though Micha was only here now because he didn't trust him to be by himself. Like he was a mental patient that needed monitoring for the next twenty-four hours. While he knew that wasn't entirely the case, the thought remained. Staring at the screen Samuel shifted slightly to remove the objects from his pockets. He didn't care if the man chose to take one for himself, it was part of the reason why he set them there in the first place.
As the game show soon broke to commercial, Samuel lowered the volume and figured now seemed like a good time to speak. He then questioned him, unsure of how he might answer. He waited, not all rushing him as Micha took a moment to think about his response. Samuel watched as the male looked down between them then back at him before speaking. Samuel understood what he was saying, it was the same for him back in the car. He hadn't wanted Micha to see him so upset, but what else could he do. He wasn't about to just abandon him or his car so he could go have a quick cry. "Why not? Isn't that what part of a future together means? For better or for worse and all that." he replied. He thought to ask as well if Micha even saw that kind of future for them. Was marriage even apart of his plan or was that all some silly fantasy Samuel had dreamed for them both.
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Feb 02, 2025 1:44 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 02, 2025 2:56 am
His outburst earlier was a rarity for him. Normally he was pretty good about bottling things away and keeping a cool head. Usually something pretty big had to have happened for the floodgates to finally break, like their night in Paris. Even then he had been able to hold himself together all the way up until Micha had left the room. He didn't know why this time affected him so, perhaps he was just tired of seeing the male leave every other night. It was starting to pile up and he felt exhausted from it all. His fears and doubts crept in from every corner, casting doubt and making him think the worst. He couldn't stand feeling like this. He was used to his anxiety and the attacks that sometimes followed, but still they stayed ever present and ready to make him doubt again.
As Micha spoke, Samuel understood what he was saying but it made him worry all the more for their future. He said as much as he questioned him. Glancing over, he saw the male smile and was slightly confused by it. He decided not to question him on it just yet and instead let him speak. Samuel was well aware of Micha's own outbursts and erratic behavior. He sometimes wondered if it was a result of trauma or something that had been left undiagnosed. It wasn't really his place to say on either as his only experiences in that department were his own. They were hardly the same.
Samuel remembered the time Micha had gotten mad, and destroyed his studio, though he had only learned about it after the fact. Anyone else would have walked away after hearing such things, but for some reason he had chose to stay. While he sat there, he was pulled from his thoughts by Micha's next question. "Hasn't stopped me yet. Or did you forget that I was there after each of those incidents?" he countered. Leaning forward, Samuel reached for another cigarette. By now he had lost count of just how many that made for today. Too many was the answer. Cupping his hand over the end, he flicked his lighter and inhaled as it lit.
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Feb 02, 2025 3:36 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 02, 2025 4:19 am
Samuel had never expected Micha to move into the mansion. He understood that he didn't need so much space nor did he want to go through the effort of making one here. However, that hadn't stopped him from trying to get an idea of what kind of home he would want to share. They had talked a few times about the spaces they needed and what they both wanted, but so far it had been only talk. It didn't seem like enough to get the ball rolling. Instead of making progress to see if they might be getting ready for the next stage of their relationship, he kept getting pushed and pushed. Even if they did live together, it wasn't as though Samuel was planning to propose to him the following day. Nor was he expecting them to be married any time soon. He knew that such things took time and he was fully prepared to need to live with Micha a few years, if not longer before taking that big step.
After answering the males' question he leaned forward in his seat he reached for his cigarettes and slipped one between his lips. Samuel was no strange to Micha's erratic behavior. Others would probably question him for putting up with it in the first place. But the truth was that he was only familiar with the before and after of each episode. He'd never actually seen what he was like in the moment, how awful it might be. He was probably stupid for even wanting to try. As he inhaled, Micha questioned him again. He gave a light shrug as he sat back once more. "Then, I've got ten guest rooms I have no personal attachment to that you're welcome to destroy. They've also got beds if you want to sleep. And if that still isn't enough, then I've got a piano and a library stocked with all kinds of stuff that you can channel that energy into something creative. As well as enough cigarettes to last til the end of the month." he replied.
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Feb 02, 2025 12:37 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 02, 2025 7:41 pm
Back in their early days of dating he could understand why he wouldn't want to live together. Everything had been so new and they were definitely a little reckless by spending so much time together. But now...he didn't want to get his hopes up. It hadn't been very long since Micha's return, the man hadn't even been given the opportunity to find a place of his own. Samuel didn't want to seem as though that still wasn't an option or that he was trapping him in some way. Still, he couldn't deny that the idea had not crossed his mind on more than one occasion, that it might be nice to live together. After all, how different could it be from the way they were now. They could still have their routines; go to work, meet others, go about their day. Living together shouldn't mean that they were glued to the hip twenty-four seven.
Samuel didn't know what sort of expectations Micha had. Though he couldn't say he would blame him, especially if he worried about the fighting or their lack of communication. Today just so happened to be an exception with the amount of talking they were doing. It felt like it had been some time since they talked so much in one day. As Micha questioned him again, Samuel answered honestly. He never claimed that living together would be perfect, and it was a little scary to think that neither of them could hide their flaws. He too did not understand how or why Micha chose to put up with him. But here they were. While waiting for a response, Samuel turned his head and blew out his smoke. He caught a glimpse at the TV and saw that the game show had returned from break, but he was hardly interested enough to continue watching.
Raising his hand to his mouth he heard Micha speak again, and returned his attention to him. It felt a bit like an unfair question. If he flat out said yes, would it be selfish of him, and if he said no, would it be akin to kicking Micha out? Samuel didn't know anymore. He was starting to regret even starting the whole conversation. He sighed softly and blew out the smoke once more. "Obviously, I do but we already knew that. More important, do you want to stay with me? Not just with me, but in this house as well. At least until we found something we can both agree on." he replied. Samuel thought he had been very clear about his wants by now.
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Feb 02, 2025 10:16 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2025 2:46 am
Not talking was definitely a problem and one that Samuel recognized. He had thought that he had been clear enough with his conversation skills and mannerisms. Instead, it only left more room for miscommunication which often led to fights like the ones they had today. Samuel knew that in order to get what he wanted, he was going to have to make his voice heard. That didn't necessarily mean that Micha would just automatically agree to drop everything and move in with him. But at least his wants would be heard.
As the man questioned him again he sighed and blew out some smoke. Once again, he thought it was obvious and stated as much before questioning Micha in return. It was one thing to say that he wanted him here, but he wanted to know if Micha would actually be happy. Staying for a weekend was one thing, staying for weeks, maybe months, until they found something was entirely different. They would be seeing a lot more of one another and likely to hit a few bumps here and there. Samuel wanted to know if he could handle that much time together or would he be dooming himself to tracking him down to the train station even more.
Leaning forward, he pulled the ashtray on the table closer to him and tapped the cigarette against the side of it. Beside him, he was surprised by Micha's sudden teasing. They had been so serious the whole time, that he was almost in disbelief that Micha was finally agreeing to move in with him. Sitting back, Samuel smirked. "Done." he said. "I'll clean out a drawer and make some space in the closet."
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2025 3:59 am
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2025 4:44 am
It was unclear how things might go with them living together. He could only judge by their countless sleepovers and the one month they had been together after Micha's stay in the hospital. He liked to think that things might go a bit better than they did back then, but for the moment it remained to be seen. For now, the best he could do was provide Micha space to put his things, spread out, and actually feel like this was his home. Even if it was only temporary. As the man teased him, Samuel couldn't help but smirk by his suggestion. The idea of putting those spare rooms to actual use was something he had no problem agreeing to. It had been ages since he last had guests over to use them. It wasn't as though his family were using them seeing as they had their own rooms. On the chance they did manage to agree on another place to live, then they could easily return the put everything back in place, and no one had to be the wiser.
Samuel was also glad that they talking. He felt his sour mood lifting and felt a bit of relief. Deep down he knew that conversations like this were needed more often. They couldn't just keep saving such talks for when they were upset at one another. After being teased, Samuel made the suggestion to make some space in his dresser and closet. Beside him, Micha teased him again. "I can always change that." he teased back, knowing the man would likely not accept. It didn't matter if Micha did not have enough things to fill the space, but more that it would be there when or if he ever needed it. Besides, it wouldn't kill Samuel to downsize his own wardrobe a little so that they'd be able to share.
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2025 5:21 am
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2025 6:09 am
Samuel would have to work on not bottling up his feelings as well if he wanted to make this work. He couldn't expect Micha to do the same if he wasn't going to do it himself. It would be unfair. Samuel hoped that they could continue to talk more and be honest with one another. So that they may learn and grow from these past mistakes. As the male teased him about his lack of possessions, Samuel returned the jest by offering to buy him more. He knew that Micha was likely to decline such an offer, having been the minimalist of the two. Still, it was there if needed. Samuel would offer the world if he could. He laughed softly as the man then went on to tease him again. "When was it ever not?" he asked. Samuel was hardly expecting a response from the male but was delighted by a kiss. He smiled against his lips as he kissed him back, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2025 6:41 am
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