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๑۩ﺴ Some shadows have more depth. ﺴ۩๑

Ethan ran into his room, both panting and sobbing. There were few people he spotted out of the corner of his eyes that poked their heads out of their dorm to see what all the commotion was for, but he didn't bother acknowledging them. Once inside his room, he closed the door and locked it, finding that that simple action took all his strength. Or maybe it was the place he locked himself in that drained him of his energy. His dorm. His and Lock's - No. It was only his dorm now.
A choked cry escaped the brunette as he sank to his knees, his hand trailing on the door. It was his fault, it was all his fault. If he hadn't followed after the detective then maybe he would've still been alive. If he hadn't even met Lock then none of this would have ever have happened. Ethan closed his eyes and cried as he felt the warm stream of tears roll down his cheeks. Lock Han was dead because of him.

~~~

How long had it been? One, two, five days? Ethan had lost track of the time he spent mourning. It just felt... useless now. He stopped going to school, he stopped going to the markets, he hasn't even eaten an orange in a day. Everything was meaningless to him now. What was the point when everything would end up being taken away from him...?
Ethan laid on the couch, staring at the ceiling with empty eyes long dried from countless hours of crying. There were bags under his eyes, even some stubble from days without shaving, and his wardrobe consisted of a half on red plaid shirt and unbuttoned, shaggy pants. He didn't care about appearances anymore, there was no one to impress.
And it was all his fault.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Ethan numbly looked to the door. Another visitor, most likely. Either a worried neighbor or a person trying to comfort him. Maybe it was his family, they've been calling plenty of times now, so maybe they decided to visit after he turned his phone off the other day.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
This knocking was loud and demanding, Ethan was sure whoever was doing the knocking wasn't going to be leaving for a while. Now, how do you stand up again? Ethan could barely remember any simple motions, he just didn't see a point in it anymore.
After a moment and five more, and louder, knocks, Ethan got off the couch. He swayed slightly, stretching his arms out and waving them around to balance himself. Once he got back into standing straight, he turned towards the door - KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! - and stumbled towards it. He slumped against the wall near the door and pressed his hand against the lock - just knowing what it was called made the brunette wince - a few times until the door was unlocked.
"Yes?" he grunted in a hoarse, monotone voice as he opened the door, instantly making eye contact with a man's chest. He blinked groggily for a moment before looking up to see a disgruntled and impatient looking man. The man was dressed in black except for the partially shown white button-up with a tie over it. He looked pretty young, but older than Ethan by a handful of years. This man might've intimidated Ethan had he any emotions left. For now, the brunette only frowned at him and gave him an emotionless stare.
"Ethan Wilhelm?" the man in black said, his voice deep and demanding, also revealing the impatience he must have felt for waiting at the doorway for so long.
"Uh... Yeah?" Ethan muttered, suddenly feeling tired. He blinked again when the dark clad man shifted in his stance. He flickered his dull blue eyes towards the man's moving hand, which was in a black leather glove, and saw it grab at something inside the man's coat. He watched with dim fascination as the man pulled out something that almost resembled a wallet.
"I am Detective Fredrich Waltz." the man introduced as he held up the wallet, which actually unfolded to reveal a detective's badge. "You're coming with me for questioning over the murder of Lock Han."

"...Why can't you understand, Ethan?" a deep yet comforting voice said softly from the living room.
The owner of that voice was Fredrich Waltz, dressed, as always, in his black coat, white-button up, and his black leather gloved hands holding up the younger man's chin. "He's never coming back." he said with tenderness, eyes dark blue eyes warm and gentle, showing self-hate when he saw Ethan cringe at his words. The younger brunette whimpered as the detective put his free arm over his waist in a half hug, but it wasn't because of the affection, but because of how painful it was to hear that Lock might not return.
"You have to move on, Ethan." Fredrich continued, daring to lean in more.

How strange this was, Fredrich noted as he gazed into the ever-empty eyes of Ethan, to have fallen for this man. It seemed as if it was just yesterday that he arrested the boy that later turned out to be nothing more of an unfortunate, sobbing wreck. At first he helped the boy home to make sure he didn't break down in a public place, but then he found himself returning due to countless reports over the misfortune that boy caused. And were they right. In Fredrich's stay he had experienced the wind stealing twenty dollars from him, his car being towed, and one of the people he was tracking down getting away just at the last second. Never had he experienced such bad luck so quickly, and he felt assured that it was all thanks to that sniveling blue-eyed boy.
And yet... In their time together, Fredrich had experienced many things with the boy, from a difference in preference of foods to a knowledge that they happened to enjoy watching the same shows on TV. These were needless facts, yet the detective found himself noting them almost all the time. In fact, Ethan was on his mind almost all the time. He couldn't stand it, not being the apple of the boy's eyes. Of course he wasn't used to these feelings himself, but all his feelings poured in the envy he held for the man that had Ethan's heart, even through death. He wanted to be the one that would leave Ethan so forlorn whenever he stepped out for even a minute, he wanted to be greeted by the sight of him whenever he came home from work, he wanted to make Ethan smile and light up.

"Please, just give me a chance." he breathed against Ethan's lips. Seeing Ethan squirm and look away reluctantly, Fredrich already knew the answer, but he pressed on. "I don't care if you'll only see him whenever you look at me, I don't care if you never love me as much as you loved him, I just want you to be happy as long as you're with me, Ethan." Forcing Ethan to look back at him, Fredrich realized that he had to convince him otherwise. Staring him dead in the eye, the black-haired man leaned in and pressed his lips against Ethan's.

Ethan was stunned. His eyes widened as he was forced into the kiss, unable to even budge from how tight Fredrich's grip was. Fredrich. Ethan had always known the detective's feelings for him, but he wanted nothing to do with him. He didn't want to be in a relationship when he was already in one.
"Don't forget me."
Those words hung in the brunette's head each and every day. He couldn't forget Lock, even if he wanted to, and he definitely didn't want to. Even when Fredrich hovered around him and tried to cheer him up, he would find himself thinking about the pop star with a hobby for being a detective. He had even purchased a few CDs just to hear Lock's voice again.
Even now, as he was being kissed against his will, he felt as if he could heard Lock's voice calling out to him. It was raspy, and that made the brunette worry that he was forgetting how Lock sounded.

Finding himself suddenly yanked away and slammed against the wall, Fredrich coughed out and glared at the man that had pried him away from Ethan. He clenched his jaw and glared at the man when he spoke about Ethan as if... Wait.... Those eyes, that hair, his entire profile... Was it...?

"Lock?" Ethan whispered, his eyes bulging, as he stared at the man that tortured his mind these long, sleepless nights. There was no way that could be him. And yet it was. There he was, every single detail that was burned in Ethan's memory projected into this man that had just let go of the angered detective and turned to face him.
Ethan felt himself freeze up when Lock spoke directly at him. He should run and hug him, cry against him for the joy he felt for seeing him alive. But he didn't. He was scared. What if this was just another dream? What if this was some doing of the shadow?
All doubts and thoughts halted when Lock spoke to him like Ethan betrayed him. He didn't care if it was a dream or not anymore, he didn't want Lock to hate him or distrust him. That was perhaps worse than dealing with his death.
"N-No-!" he stuttered, eyebrows furrowed and eyes watering up. "I-I didn't do anything with him. P-Please believe me, I-I waited for you!" he stammered and numbly reached out to touch Lock and see if he was real or not.

"He's right." came an unsteady, venom-dripping voice from behind Lock. Fredrich slowly straightened up and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, the lights reflecting off the lens and hiding his infuriated eyes. "I was the one to kiss him." As his glasses went up all the way, one eye was revealed past the light, and it showed a deeply angered and envious dark blue eye. "Or were you too lost in your own thoughts, Mr. Han?"

Ethan felt a sense of closure wash over him when he felt Lock's fingers against his. Those long, cold fingers he was so used to having hold him, just their touch after this long time was enough to make the brunette break down once more. He felt fresh tears well up in his eyes as he was held by the blonde, unable to believe what was happening. Although still slightly hesitant, Ethan buried his face in Lock's chest and took in the scent of cologne - just like that shirt he found in Lock's closet once and used as a security blanket to keep himself from crying so much in his sleep. This was Lock, this was truly him, alive.
Lock was alive.
He wasn't dead.
It wasn't his fault.
The tears no longer held back, Ethan let out a muffled cry of joy as he held onto Lock, to the man he loved and waited for.

Fredrich glared and was just about to fire back insults at Lock when he saw the Korean pull Ethan into a hug. He paused and flickered his gaze over to see Ethan hug and cry against Lock. The detective became silent, realizing that there was no use in trying to win him over now.
The detective lowered his head and pushed his glasses up again, his eyes once again hidden.
But he wouldn't give up that easily.
Shooting the pair one last look, Fredrich walked out of the dorm, already formulating plans on how to win over the brunette.

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๑۩ﺴ Some shadows have more depth. ﺴ۩๑

It almost embarrassed the smaller male to have to look up at his lover like this, soaked with oncoming tears and only managing to give him a shaking smile. Feeling that familiar stroke against his face, Ethan gave Lock a dreamy look and welcomed the kiss. That warmth, that tenderness, those butterflies that fluttered in his stomach, the ones he didn't think existed anymore, it was all so great. It was great to smile again, Ethan realized as he lifted his arms and put them around Lock's neck, burying his fingers in the soft hair he missed so much.
It felt like forever after Ethan broke the kiss - needing air from the inexperience he regained due to his returned shut-in state. "I.... I missed you so much." he said with a shuddering breath. "How... How did you even.... you know." he breathed, as he looked up at Lock, his clear blue eyes swelling with emotions locked up for months.

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๑۩ﺴ Some shadows have more depth. ﺴ۩๑

Ethan's face fell as Lock explained his revival. Because that's what it was, a revival. A revival meant to come back from death, so Lock really...
Died because of me.
Ethan stared, dazed, by the weight of his crime. Maybe he should turn himself in to that detective, but he didn't really want that guy putting handcuffs on him. Nor did he want to be incarcerated for killing the guy he loved. Feeling something against his rear, the brunette blinked back into reality and vaguely heard something about about a tour and spending time with Lock.
He blinked at him and smiled, ready to say something when he was suddenly lifted up. Normally something as emasculating as this would cause him to squirm and complain, but, of course, he was more than happy to let Lock do whatever he wanted, just as long as he didn't leave him alone again. Ethan smiled past his blush and let out a yelp when he felt the couch cushions against him. He gazed up at Lock and thought of something witty or cute to do, but months of apathy stole all that information from him. Pursing his lips and sweatdropping at the thought of being unable to satisfy Lock, Ethan awkwardly put his arms around the blonde and pressed himself against the other. "Uh..." he started, trying not to freak out over how bad a cuddler he felt. "Umm... Why didn't you just take a taxi?" he asked mainly for the sake of distracting them both.

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๑۩ﺴ Some shadows have more depth. ﺴ۩๑

Feelings Ethan nearly forgot welled up inside him when he felt those familiar lips against familiar and neglected spots on his body. He curled into his lover slightly and shivered with pleasure when Lock pulled away to give him an order of sorts. He stared into Lock's eyes, fairly surprised by the look on his face, but the more he thought about it, the less of a surprise it came. He could understand the anger Lock must have felt. Returning to your loved one after two whole months to see him being kissed by another.
"Don't worry about me." Ethan smiled reassuringly at Lock. "I seriously doubt Detective Waltz will go near me as long as you're around." He smiled wider. "And who knows? Maybe my shadow is taking care of him right now."

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๑۩ﺴ Some shadows have more depth. ﺴ۩๑

Ethan eagerly kissed him back. Detective Fredrich Waltz... He was a strange man. Always intimidating, always cold-hearted, always distant. But the longer the black clad man watched over him, still suspicious that he was a murderer, the nicer he became towards him. Ethan would soon find himself catching the detective smiling and talking about whatever was on his mind around him, but still intimidating and vicious towards other people. Of course Ethan didn't care at the time, all he cared about was how long he'd cry before he fell asleep again.
And now he wouldn't even have to worry about that strange detective, or about crying, because Lock was here and always would be. Ethan closed his eyes and arched slightly to help get his pants off. His hands went to Lock's back and started tugging at his upper clothing, working them off as he focused on the kiss he missed so much.