Welcome to Gaia! ::

can you redo the quote with the edit?...because i feel there was at least an important point in it....and i was slow with the edit. sorry.

thanks for that btw. i know... it's not as big a deal as i make it out to be. but it's annoying having a fully dependent character then having it operate lower than expected.

i need a better knight for her. when he tried to move her...he forgot about her dark/light shifting.

oh. i was just remarking on the ^_^ in the plot separator.
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a pair of gloves that are made out of some sort of thread.

isn't most cloth made of thread?
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He stands back up and walks a little ways into the pondand the feeling of ^.^ the water stings slightly on his skin

the above is my main opinion for this area. i also recommend using a transition with "because" or "due to" instead of "being" in the next statement, though that can be kept for it's voice if you have a strong preference.

lol. i see. i just found it amusing, sorry. i will want to see this book when it's finished.

my internet crashed again, but i finished your story.

Taronako pulls a pair of gloves out of his back pocket that looks just like Rao's.

A glove looks like something. Gloves look like something.

When he finishes wrapping it, he hands it to Koriinu^; ^who gently places it into her bag which was empty

You should make a slightly bigger deal about the pure crystal not stinging koriinu at first. (I think) just be sure to gently point it out, so people know you intended it. I know you explain it right after…but it pulled me out to think about it in between the two parts.

We held them off^,^ but from some of the things they said, {probably right, but the comma here gives me a strange feeling} we believe that the Old World is preparing some kind of attack against Valia."

She says with a cocky smile. "I wouldn't risk having out here where everyone could see it."

"Anyways. What are you here for now. Just came to check up on the crystal?" Taronako nods and steps closer to Koriinu. She leads both him and Rao into the house and over to a shelf above the chimney. She opens up a small wooden box and inside sit's the crystal. It glimmers a bit as the sun light hits it and then returns to its normal shine. "See. I told you it was fine."

(you've done nothing wrong, but since there are more than two people, I think you should indicate koriinu is speaking since she is not the next person to act after she speaks.

And that's the last of my scrutinizing your marvelous work. Sorry, my internet just suddenly died. I had devart loaded…so I could finish reading…but I couldn't send you comments anymore.

you have an amazing creative element to you. it reminds me of my old impatience that writing takes time...

Aria a "character slot" is not the prize for the tourney at least this one. That is if memory serves me and I believe it does right now lol.

Well to put it simply there will be more than one prize at the end of this tourney. None of which are a "character slot" unless you say beat the shade before it's planned end.

"You gotta Jump Jump!"

Damn it all! I have school tomorrow... my holidays have ended... for now... ||goes to drown my sorrows in Ouran High School Host Club before going to bed||

Hikaru~
Kaoru~
||nosebleeds||
=3

"That is what the base is for"

TAKE THAT MALIX!!!xD what is she trying to take anyway?