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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 11:57 pm
WatersMoon110 sachiko_sohma Winged Isis This may be irrelevant, but I'd like to mention that the ONLY case I know of personally of a woman dying in childbirth happened with NO warning signs at all. Her pregnancy was completely normal up until the birth itself. You cannot terminate EVERY pregnancy on the off-chance that a woman might die in childbirth. Pregnancies where there IS advance warning, yes. I would also like to point out, that like most advanced countries, our maternal deathrates are extremely low. In most cases the woman are fine (very few have serious live and death complication or permant damage but is most of those causes they have some warning). Abortion is more dangerous cause surgery adds more risks (risk of infection, risk of the abortion being botched, problems with anestetics (spelling?)- some cases giving too much, risk of not being able to concieve or carry anymore children, sometimes depression,ect.... in some cases it also resulted in the death of the woman). In most cases of pregnancy, you mean? Because in most cases of life-threatening pregnancy, the woman is not "fine". Because when an abortion is recommended by a doctor the pregnancy is usually so dangerous that to not do surgery would add far more risk than to do the abortion. Come on, you know what i'm talking about. Most pregnant woman don't need an abortion in order to live their lives (only very few woman do and most of the time the doctors would probly try to save both first unless their unable to and it still has great risks. Not all surgeries save lifes even if that was the plan).
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Posted: Sat May 26, 2007 12:04 am
WatersMoon110 divineseraph Well no, not really... Because the product of a pro-life world would be more children, thus more lives. I am not so stupid as to assume that a pro-choice world would have EVERY or even many pregnancies aborted. However, there would BE abortions, which means less children, and thus less lives. Mathematically speaking, pro-life would save, or at least allow for more lives to exist than pro-choice. However, forcing more women to keep pregnancies they don't want (because they would otherwise abort them) would definitely have some effect on the infanticide rate. I'm not saying that all of those "saved lives" would end "early", but I really feel that many unbalanced women would choose to kill their born children if they did not have the option to kill their unborn (and unable to feel pain) humans. I guess, because I'm Pro-Choice, I think that quality of life is more important than simply the number of lives in existance. The more people there are, the less resources there are to share. It isn't as though, if abortion were suddenly illegal, all those women who don't want to be pregnant and want an abortion would suddenly be thrilled to have a baby to take care of... If they don't want kids, that is what adoption is for (do people seem to forget that? Many people do want kids and be willing to adopt. True the system needs fixing but at least they have a life which is better then being dead in most cases). That's what I do if I was pregnant, find someone that would want and care for them (You can look into open adoptions and pick the people to adopt your child is born). You don't have to take care of the child if you don't want it and yet still yet it live.
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Posted: Sat May 26, 2007 1:34 pm
Except Waters is talking about pregnancy. You still have to take care of that kid for nine months.
I agree with you, but adoption doesn't solve unwanted pregnancy, just unwanted parenthood.
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Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 9:42 am
kp is dcvi WatersMoon110 2. Pro-Choicers are trying to fight for the right of all humans (including pregnant women) to control their own bodies. 2. For the record ladies and gents, the fatal flaw of Locke's beliefs was that humans in "absolute freedom" would eventually overstep each other's freedoms. You can't be absolutely free without inconveniencing others, eventually. 3nodding A pregnancy can't end without someone lacking control over their body. Either the pregnant woman's going to sacrifice a part of her body for about nine months, or the fetus is going to have its entire body sacrificed permanently. So no, pro-choicers do not fight for the right of all humans to control their own bodies, because they do not believe a human should have that right when they're a fetus. And everyone spends some time as a fetus, whether they like it or not. Less than half of the population is capable of getting pregnant, and only a tiny fraction of those experience totally involuntary pregnancy (i.e., are raped and become pregnant).
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Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 5:52 pm
sachiko_sohma If they don't want kids, that is what adoption is for (do people seem to forget that? Many people do want kids and be willing to adopt. True the system needs fixing but at least they have a life which is better then being dead in most cases). That's what I do if I was pregnant, find someone that would want and care for them (You can look into open adoptions and pick the people to adopt your child is born). You don't have to take care of the child if you don't want it and yet still yet it live. There are people out there -- such as myself -- who do not consider adoption an option. At all. If I were unable to abort an unwanted pregnancy, I would sooner kill myself and take the fetus with me than live with myself after putting that child up for adoption. Adoption is not going to happen for me. End of story. What option is left for me if I can't find a family I trust that would take care of the child, and I can't care for it myself?
And how exactly would I put a 10-week-old fetus up for adoption?
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Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 5:56 pm
La Veuve Zin kp is dcvi WatersMoon110 2. Pro-Choicers are trying to fight for the right of all humans (including pregnant women) to control their own bodies. 2. For the record ladies and gents, the fatal flaw of Locke's beliefs was that humans in "absolute freedom" would eventually overstep each other's freedoms. You can't be absolutely free without inconveniencing others, eventually. 3nodding A pregnancy can't end without someone lacking control over their body. Either the pregnant woman's going to sacrifice a part of her body for about nine months, or the fetus is going to have its entire body sacrificed permanently. So no, pro-choicers do not fight for the right of all humans to control their own bodies, because they do not believe a human should have that right when they're a fetus. And everyone spends some time as a fetus, whether they like it or not. Less than half of the population is capable of getting pregnant, and only a tiny fraction of those experience totally involuntary pregnancy (i.e., are raped and become pregnant). I don't claim that a fetus isn't human. It most definately is.
The fetus isn't a person though. Not according to me, according to law. You need to be born in order to be a person and have rights. Since a fetus isn't born, it doesn't have those.
Also, you know, even if a fetus did have rights, its rights wouldn't completely negate the rights of the woman.
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Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 6:32 pm
Tyshia2 There are people out there -- such as myself -- who do not consider adoption an option. At all. If I were unable to abort an unwanted pregnancy, I would sooner kill myself and take the fetus with me than live with myself after putting that child up for adoption. Adoption is not going to happen for me. End of story. What option is left for me if I can't find a family I trust that would take care of the child, and I can't care for it myself? Would you consider Open Adoption (where you would get to find a family that you trust to raise the child, and even get the option to let that child know you as it was growing up)? Just curious. I also couldn't imagine putting a child up for "Closed" Adoption. There are far too many flaws in the Adoption System for me to place yet another human into it. Tyshia2 And how exactly would I put a 10-week-old fetus up for adoption? Obviously, no one is talking about birthing a non-viable unborn human and trying to give it up for adoption. Though, I am almost certain that pregnant women can start looking for potential adoptive families through Open Adoption. She would still have to carry the pregnancy to term, but I think part of the agreement is that the adoptive family pays all her medical bills (and possible more money for living on). Eventually, with fetal transplant surgery, one actually could give an unborn human up for adoption.
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Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 7:11 pm
WatersMoon110 Tyshia2 There are people out there -- such as myself -- who do not consider adoption an option. At all. If I were unable to abort an unwanted pregnancy, I would sooner kill myself and take the fetus with me than live with myself after putting that child up for adoption. Adoption is not going to happen for me. End of story. What option is left for me if I can't find a family I trust that would take care of the child, and I can't care for it myself? Would you consider Open Adoption (where you would get to find a family that you trust to raise the child, and even get the option to let that child know you as it was growing up)? Just curious. I also couldn't imagine putting a child up for "Closed" Adoption. There are far too many flaws in the Adoption System for me to place yet another human into it. For me to consider open adoption, I would have to know the family for a while beforehand and be able to keep in very good touch with them. I'd also prefer to live near them. I would consider it, but only under special circumstances. WatersMoon110 Tyshia2 And how exactly would I put a 10-week-old fetus up for adoption? Obviously, no one is talking about birthing a non-viable unborn human and trying to give it up for adoption. Though, I am almost certain that pregnant women can start looking for potential adoptive families through Open Adoption. She would still have to carry the pregnancy to term, but I think part of the agreement is that the adoptive family pays all her medical bills (and possible more money for living on). Eventually, with fetal transplant surgery, one actually could give an unborn human up for adoption. Yeah, I think I heard that you can set up an adoption, even a closed one, before even the third trimester. I'm not sure how early you can do it in open adoption. And I thought in closed adoption, if you agree beforehand to put your child up, they'll pay your bills and take the child literally as soon as it's born.
I really hope such a thing happens soon. Then maybe we won't have to chose between the mother's rights and the fetus's life anymore.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 12:01 am
Tyshia2 sachiko_sohma If they don't want kids, that is what adoption is for (do people seem to forget that? Many people do want kids and be willing to adopt. True the system needs fixing but at least they have a life which is better then being dead in most cases). That's what I do if I was pregnant, find someone that would want and care for them (You can look into open adoptions and pick the people to adopt your child is born). You don't have to take care of the child if you don't want it and yet still yet it live. There are people out there -- such as myself -- who do not consider adoption an option. At all. If I were unable to abort an unwanted pregnancy, I would sooner kill myself and take the fetus with me than live with myself after putting that child up for adoption. Adoption is not going to happen for me. End of story. What option is left for me if I can't find a family I trust that would take care of the child, and I can't care for it myself?
And how exactly would I put a 10-week-old fetus up for adoption? See? this is what I don't get. People would choose to kill themselfs or an innocent unborn child instead of giving a chance for them to live without you having to worry about caring for them? Please explain why adoption is far worse then abortion cause I really want to know and understand. Who says the child would be unhappy or never get adopted? Who says there will be no family that is trust worthy and willing and able to adopt a child that needs a home and a family? And who said anything about putting a fetus for abortion? That made no sense,sorry.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 9:01 am
sachiko_sohma See? this is what I don't get. People would choose to kill themselfs or an innocent unborn child instead of giving a chance for them to live without you having to worry about caring for them? Please explain why adoption is far worse then abortion cause I really want to know and understand. Who says the child would be unhappy or never get adopted? Who says there will be no family that is trust worthy and willing and able to adopt a child that needs a home and a family? And who said anything about putting a fetus for abortion? That made no sense,sorry. Adoption just completely disgusts me. Yes, there a plenty of cases of a child being adopted into a loving home. But there are plenty more of them being adopted into bad homes, sent to bad foster homes, or never getting adopted. Besides, even if it does get adopted, it won't know me. It won't know why I had to give it up. Everyone I know who has been adopted has told me that when they found out, their heart broke and all they could think about was why their birth mother didn't love them. I'm sure that thought doesn't occur to some kids, but I don't want to risk putting a kid through that either. And I also wouldn't want that kid to come and track me down. I doubt I'd be able to deal with that. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this to you very well. Adoption just seems out of the question for me. It goes completely against my moral system. I guess my philosophy on the situation is that I'd kill my fetus because I love it, and I wouldn't want to put it through any of the things I believe adoption entails. I'd much rather end its life before it knows it has one and before it can suffer than leave it to rot in the adoption system.
True, the child could be adopted into a good, loving home and lead a happy life. But it's just as likely to never get adopted, or to get adopted into a bad home. And, since I'm in an interracial relationship right now, if I were to give birth to a child from this relationship, it'd be mixed. Minorities are far less likely to get adopted, and mixed children can have even less of a chance that minorities. The stats would be against my child. I wouldn't want to take the risk.
Yeah, I know that bit made no sense. That was supposed to be the point. sweatdrop Adoption is a nice idea for solving an unwanted pregnancy, but it really doesn't solve much. The woman still has to endure a pregnancy and childbirth. The only thing adoption helps is that the woman doesn't have to care for the child after it is born. That's not always the issue when it comes to abortion. Sometimes just being pregnant can be a problem. What are those women to do?
(Sorry this is so long! gonk )
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 9:40 am
I know plenty of kids who have been raised by their parents, who wonder why they don't love them. Really that doesn't have much to do with adoption so much as the adoptees world view/personal view. My boyfriend was adopted and he's more afraid that he's going to find out that his mother wanted an abortion, when she was pregnant with him (abortion was illegal in Canada until 1988, he was born in 1986).
However that says he does not feel a lack of love because as he puts it "My parents REALLY chose me." They'd been trying to have kids and found out that they couldn't.
Statistically speaking children are more likely to be put into a loving home, than they are to be put in a home that is abusive. Not simply because of the fact people are screened and all that fun stuff, but also because statistically speaking there are less abusive households than there are normal loving ones.
The child is NOT just as likely to get adopted into a bad home, or not adopted at all. I don't know who's been telling you this, but they're lying. Especially newborns, even if they aren't white. There is a waiting list for them and the screening process is extra, in order to cut down the waiting list. For instance, if you are able to/have had a child before chances are they will not let you adopt a newborn. If you are over a certain age, same deal etc.
Not only this but I've never understood this "I'm going to kill you because I love you, instead of letting you lead a life." Truthfully, every arguement I've heard made by people who would rather abort than give their child up for adoption has sounded selfish.
(please note, these are not all from you)
- "I wouldn't want to live my life knowing my child is out there and I'm not raising them." aka "If I can't have them, no one can." - "It's more kind." Even though after they ARE born they can choose to end their own life, but if they're killed they can't choose to keep living. - "I don't want my DNA out in the world." It's not yours. - "I don't want to bring another person into the world." So they kill off their child if they get pregnant instead of themselves from the getgo. They're allowed to live, but it's wrong to bring in more than that. etc.
There has never been one arguement that is for abortion but against adoption, that is not completely self centred (but usually dressed up to be "for the childs own good") IMHO.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 1:09 pm
Beware the Jabberwock I know plenty of kids who have been raised by their parents, who wonder why they don't love them. Really that doesn't have much to do with adoption so much as the adoptees world view/personal view. My point kind of was that if I kept a kid instead of aborting it or putting it up for adoption, that meant I loved it AND wanted it. My kid wouldn't be one of those who wonders why its parents don't love it. If I aborted or adopted, that doesn't necessarily mean I didn't love it, just that I didn't want it. In adoption, however, the kid's around to wonder about why I didn't want it, and if I even loved it. I don't want that for a child, because I've seen first hand the agony that it can put someone through. True, it does depend more on the person who was adopted's view than the adoption system itself. But forgive me for not wanting to risk my child being one who is going to be torn up over being adopted, and also not wanting to risk anything else involved with the adoption system. Beware the Jabberwock My boyfriend was adopted and he's more afraid that he's going to find out that his mother wanted an abortion, when she was pregnant with him (abortion was illegal in Canada until 1988, he was born in 1986). My best friend wishes her mother had aborted her instead of putting her up for adoption. She's far from suicidal, but she'd rather not have gone through everything she's gone through as a result of being adopted. Beware the Jabberwock The child is NOT just as likely to get adopted into a bad home, or not adopted at all. I don't know who's been telling you this, but they're lying. Especially newborns, even if they aren't white. There is a waiting list for them and the screening process is extra, in order to cut down the waiting list. For instance, if you are able to/have had a child before chances are they will not let you adopt a newborn. If you are over a certain age, same deal etc If you're not a newborn, your chances of being adopted drop drastically. And pretty much, once you hit over age five, you're far, far more likely to be stuck without a family than to be adopted. Source. Quote: Preschoolers Are More Likely to be Adopted Than Older Children A disproportionate number of children age 1-5 are adopted--they comprise 45 percent of the children adopted from foster care, but 34 percent of waiting children. A similar marked difference can be found in the over-10 age group, which represents 17 percent of the children adopted from foster care, but 26 percent of the waiting foster children.[21] Researchers estimate that at 8 or 9 years of age, a child's likelihood of remaining in foster care becomes higher than the probability they will be adopted.[22] And the newborn waiting list is one of the big reasons why I'm disgusted with the adoption system. If you want a child so badly, why do you have to be put on a waiting list for a newborn? Why can't you adopt a four year old, or a six year old? No diaper changing, they're potty trained, can already talk, no "terrible two" era, and they're just as in need of a loving home as that newborn you're on a waiting list for.
If I add a newborn to the system and it gets adopted, that's one more child that might have gotten a home that won't now.
And the white babies are the ones people want. I'm sure there are people who are completely happy with a minority or mixed baby, or who will settle for a minority or mixed baby if a white one isn't available, but when people fill out criteria for what kind of baby they want, unless they themselves are a minority, it's gonna be a caucasian newborn with no special needs.
At the Lifetime Adoption Center's website, you can view profiles of families waiting to adopt. Here's a link. Click on any family and chances are, you'll see they want a newborn caucasian. I did this with I don't even remember how many families. Only three said any race, and two of those were minority couples. Beware the Jabberwock Not only this but I've never understood this "I'm going to kill you because I love you, instead of letting you lead a life." Truthfully, every arguement I've heard made by people who would rather abort than give their child up for adoption has sounded selfish. I think that, given the nature of this discussion, any situation which doesn't involve completing the pregnancy instead of aborting is going to sound selfish to a pro-lifer. And really, anything anyone ever does can be considered selfish. It all depends on the point of view.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 1:35 pm
1) The person who is being put up for adoption.
2) Your best friend would rather be dead? Then really, I have to ask, why isn't she? I mean really and truely if someone wants to be dead than it's easy enough. The difference here is her mother gave her a choice to live out her life. What she does with it now is just that, her choice. If she decides to live a good life, she can. If she decides to kill herself she can do that too, though I hope she wouldn't.
She has the option now, her mother gave her that, instead of just deciding for her.
3) How many children do you know who are born at the age of 5 or above?
4) I'm not saying that I have the warm-fuzzies for the adoption system either. But really, every institution has problems and kinks, and part of the problem is the people adopting. Most people want to raise the child from the get-go.
However there is a waiting list for a reason. Because people do not just decide "Hey! Well I can't get a newborn right now, I guess I'll go for a 3 year old!" These people are willing to wait YEARS to get a newborn, so I don't think you adding a child or not adding a child is going to change their minds.
White babies are not specifically what people want. People generally want children of the same race as them, because caucasian is the predominant race in Canada and the US, caucasian children are in the highest demand. However, that being said if you go onto an adoption agency and look for children under the age of 1, see how many you can pull up. Because I've done it and I didn't find any.
5) This isn't true. I understand people wanting to abort severly disabled children, as an act of compassion. I do not agree with it, nor condone it, however I understand and sympathize with their reasoning. I believe that there can be reasons people choose to abort rather than adopt out, which are not completely selfish, or that I can sympathize with, though I may not agree with them myself. Just as I can understand the general idea behind people wanting to have abortion available to them, though I do not agree with it.
However I believe that some people would rather kill their child than reliquish control of them, which is why they do not consider adoption.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 1:50 pm
2. It's not that she'd rather be dead, it's that she'd rather not have experience all that she's been through because she was put up for adoption. Note: She is white. She was put up for adoption as a newborn. No one adopted her, despite the newborn waiting list. She had no health problems or special needs. She was finally adopted when she was six. By her grandparents, because they felt obligated. Not by a loving couple that wanted a six year old.
3. Obviously none. But just because you're put into the system as an infant and just because there's a waiting list for adopting newborns does not mean you will get adopted. And if you don't get adopted as a newborn, chances are pretty slim you'll get adopted at all.
4. I'm sure there's plenty of them. Every single child over one that is in the adoption or foster system cannot have been put there due to being taken away from their parents because of neglect or something.
I'm also willing to bet that the same kind of people who will wait years for a newborn will also wait to get a newborn of their same race.
5. Why is it understandable to abort a disabled child as an act of compassion, but not a healthy child? Isn't there a chance that that disabled child will live out a long happy life, practically unhindered by its disability?
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 2:37 pm
1) She would rather have not experienced it? I would rather have no experienced stepping on a nail (twice) in my past, however that doesn't mean I would rather my parents killed me first. I would rather not have experienced failing EXT, feeling heartbreak, watching loved ones die etc.
There are plenty of bad experiences, and everyone has them. It's part of life and of being alive. If she would rather not be dead, now, how can you justify saying she'd rather have been aborted? Being aborted would mean she would not be alive now.
Or perhaps what you mean is she would rather have not gone through difficult periods in her life, and wishes there was another alternative.
2) The odds are in favour of a newborn being put up for adoption, so long as it's relatively healthy. In fact there is a very slim chance your child would not be adopted.
According to this source 63% of children are in fostercare for LESS than 2 years. Only 14% stay in fostercare for 5 years or more. Not to mention that only 20% of people that are in fostercare are up for adoption. PLUS only 6% of people in foster care are under the age of 1.
3) Some people give their children up after they're older, if they realize they can't take care of them. My boyfriend was given up when he was 6 months old, his brother was taken from his mother (not the same biological mother) and raised by his grandparents for awhile, then given up by them when he was 3.
Not to mention that not everyone waiting is caucasian.
4) It's understandable in the sense that we as humans forget that the way we see the world is coloured by the fact we've experienced it as we are. People look at disabled people (and I mean in more severe forms, not like, they have 6 fingers) and imagine what it would be like for them, living like that. They forget that, that life is all the other person has known.
Parents sometimes worry that their childrens' lives will be miserable, if they are disabled, because THEY would be miserable if they were to become disabled. In a way they are trying to save their child from living a life where they cannot experience things the way the parent would imagine they would want to experience it. Not to mention if they were planning on giving the child up for adoption.
It doesn't mean they're right, but I can understand the underlying reasoning.
It's kind of like, if the technology was available and it was shown your child had a defect, would you change it? Would that be okay? Why would/wouldn't it? Where would it end?
Some people might say that if their child was born with brittle bone syndrome they would change it for their own good. I can completely understand that, I mean could you imagine going through life and worrying about your bones breaking with everything that you do? But another person may decide that they're going to change their childs sexuality. Is that okay? Why/why not? I mean you have to admit it would be much easier to be straight in today's world than it would to be gay. Especially if that person wants to be married (not a problem in Canada anymore) or raise a family. But would a person choose to change something like that if according to their moral code, there was nothing wrong with being homosexual? Would it be okay to deny them to right to change something like that?
The problem is not the idea behind it, it's where the line is drawn.
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