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 Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 12:50 pm
lol Nice job marshjazz...love the qutoes!
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Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 1:21 pm
Logan: [standing in front of Veronica's car] Do you have any idea what your little joke cost me?
Veronica: Well, I'm pretty sure you won't be getting your bong back.
Logan: [smashes Veronica's headlights with a crowbar] Wrong answer. Would you care to guess again?
Veronica: Clearly your sense of humor...
Veronica: [Veronica's Dad just came home] And...
Keith: [happy] Who's your Daddy?
Veronica: I hate it when you say that.
Keith: This is important, you remember this, I used to be cool.
Veronica: When?
Keith: '77. Trans-Am, Blue Oyster Cult in the 8-track, foxy, stacked blond riding shotgun, racing for pink slips. Wait a minute, I'm thinking of a Springsteen song. Scratch everything. I was never cool.
Veronica: I don't know which bothers me more, "foxy" or "stacked".
Veronica: Look at you, all helpful.
Logan: Hey, your peskiness being unleashed on Conner brings me joy. Annoy, tiny blonde one, annoy like the wind!
Logan: Do you even know how to play poker?
Veronica: No, but it must be really hard if all you guys play.
Lamb: [reading $100 bill] Veronica Mars is... smarter than me...
Veronica: Oh, you stop it!
[Veronica is trying to get a drunk Logan's keys]
Veronica: Come on, Logan just give me your keys. Leo, can you follow us in your car?
Logan: [giggling] No. No. No. No. Let's not have a party like it's 1999.
Logan: [points to Leo] Wait, who's this dude?
Veronica: As I have told you now three times, this is the friendly officer of the law who is going to overlook your underage public drunkenness.
Keith: You'll never guess who stopped by today.
Veronica: If you say Josh Hartnett, I am going to be so bummed.
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 12:25 pm
Thanks! I'm going to update now...
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 12:28 pm
One Angry Veronica
Veronica: Uh, yeah. Isn't that the same computer you got me two years ago?
Keith: Yeah, on the outside, yes. But this old beast has a new heart pulsing inside her. I'm talking five hundred and twelve gigawatts of RAM, and eighty something or other hard drive, uhh, uhh . . .
Veronica: You don't know what you're saying, do you?
Keith: No. But your friend Mac promised me that it's all very state of the art .
Veronica: Thanks dad.
d**k: Dude, seriously. Snow, pine trees, family, that's not holidays!
(New Year's Eve)
Keith: I'm hittin' the bunkhouse.
Veronica: But Dad, you're gonna miss the ball.
Keith: I saw it for the past forty years or so. It, you know, drops. You'll see. Good night. (Edit)
Leo: Good celebrity porn is scarce these days.
Lamb: [admiring himself in the mirror after bench pressing] You know, Keith, you really should've done more to push fitness when you were here.
Keith: Yeah, I was going to get to that, but the crime-fighting kept getting in the way.
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 12:31 pm
Donut Run
Super Huge Deputy: I moonlight over at Club Thin.
Veronica: Club Thin?
Super Huge Deputy: I'm a bouncer.
Veronica: Well, I didn't think you were a cage dancer.
Agent Morris: Now Sheriff, I think we should make it clear right from the get-go that we are here to get that baby back. And we are willing to combine our resources.
Lamb: I'll share anything you need.
Agent Morris: Until such time as you piss us off. And when that time comes, and it usually comes quickly in Sleepy-burg, or World-Biggest-Ball-of-String's-ville, or where ever the hell we are this week. When that time comes, we will cut you out like you were a meter maid. You don't get the photo-op, and you don't get the fruit basket. So repeat after me. Team. Me.
Veronica: That's a lot of thinking for Lamb. He may tire himself out.
Wallace: And if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.
Logan: Lost?
Kendall: Oh, quit standing there so smug! Tomorrow you just gonna call me at two in the morning saying you want some company. For your information: that really doesn't satisfy me, Logan!
Logan: Really? You always come!
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 12:33 pm
Rashard and Wallace Go to White Castle
Veronica: (to Logan and Weevil) So, this is sneaking? I've got a pantomine-horse disguise you could use. Do either of you have any experience being a horse's a**?
Wallace: All right. So that's good.
Veronica: Good? What, in the same way that Rashard is cool? Do you know what any words actually mean?
Logan: Look, Veronica, can you just once save my butt without comment?
Veronica: No. Because saving your butt with comment, it just... it works better for me.
Wallace: Look, you don't have to do this. I'll be fine.
Veronica: Please. Let me. My boyfriend just fled the country with his dead ex-girlfriend's baby. I need a project.
Wallace: Where have you been?
Veronica: Nowhere, but if God asks, I was with you.
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 12:36 pm
Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough
Madison: You want to save yourself some time? Start with her. (points to Jackie) We all saw her, lurking around.
Jackie: Lurking? Ah, you mean, standing while black?
Veronica: I found this in the copy machine.
Mrs. Hauser: Where did you get this? This is my exam.
Veronica: In... the... copy machine. Am I still speaking English?
Mrs. Hauser: In less than three minutes, Veronica Mars has lost all the senior trip money.
Veronica: Is that a record?
Veronica: Madison, you have a little... (points to her nose)
Madison: What, brown? Because I'm a brown noser?
Veronica: No, glitter. Because you're a fairy princess.
Weevil: So... why didn't you turn me in? Was it lust, or just plain love?
Veronica: Love... for roller coasters. And hate, for the idea of spending a trip overseas with my classmates.
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Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 8:43 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 8:45 am
The Quick and the Wed
Jane: I don't know how helpful I'm gonna be; I didn't really get a good look at the guy. It was dark and loud and there were condom balloons hitting my head.
Jane: Veronica?
Veronica: (distracted) Oh, hey, Jane.
Jane: I think those are our drinks.
Veronica: And you want me to bring them to you versus watching them get cold from across the room. Got it.
Jane: Veronica!
Veronica: Hey, party girl.
Jane: I need your help.
Veronica: Let me guess: the "Pin the p***s on the Fireman" game ended in tears?
Logan: You're cute when you're jealous.
Vinnie: Hey, what a man does in the privacy of his own home, office, and/or car is his business.
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Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 8:46 am
The Rapes of Graff
Veronica: I told you, Dad, I am going far, far away. It's a dealbreaker.
Keith: Hearst is 10 whole exits.
Veronica: What do you know about plastic explosives?
Keith: Well, that's what I like: a good segue.
Keith: So, can I ask you a question?
Cliff: Well, she said her name was Daphne.
Keith: No, no, no. How did you call me?
Cliff: Acrobatically. I might have pulled a hamstring.
Keith: Okay, then. Next question...
Dean: Oh, hey. Um, you know the tour doesn't start until noon?
Veronica: If I wanted to find a Hawaiian girl, where would I start?
Dean: In Hawaii?
Dean: I saw you talking to that guy. What'd you talk about?
Veronica: Jane Austen. But he dissed Pride and Prejudice, so I had to throw a beer on him.
Drew: So what do you think about us gettin' busy?
Veronica: Can I have your beer?
Drew: Sure. [She splashes him in the face] Grow a sense of humor, you crazy b***h!
Veronica: I would, if something funny would ever happen.
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Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 8:48 am
Plan B
Gia: Hi, welcome to the Sadie Hawkins Spring Fling. Enjoy!
Logan: Don't worry, gang, if she's a two at ten, she'll be a ten at two.
Mr. Wu: This is study hall. Do you two know what we do in study hall?
Jackie: Gimme a minute, I think I know this one...
Veronica: What about you? Anyone on your radar?
Jane: Well, I've got a dilemma. I'm torn between this sweet band dork and this all-hands Nubian prince.
Veronica: Oooh. Tell me more about this band dork.
Veronica: (gesturing to her face) You see this face? This face right here? This is my over-the-moon face.
Cassidy: (to Mac) Good luck getting laid.
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Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 8:49 am
I Am God
Logan: You're not going to get all super-achiever on me, are you?
Wallace: I'm just trying to avoid flunking. Hearst would yank my scholarship.
Logan: Excellent. The bar is so low, we can step over it.
Wallace: ...We magnify the drag, decrease the velocity, minimize the force, and decelerate -
Logan: Decelerate yourself. Four is officially your espresso limit.
Keith: My coat?
Clemmons: Right. It's in the closet.
(Sees Veronica hiding in the closet)
Keith: Yep, that's mine all right.
Keith: Why aren't you learning something?
Veronica: And a good day to you, too, sir. Just thinking about some great advice you gave me.
Keith: "Look both ways"? "Don't stick that in your nose"?
Veronica: "Follow the money."
Wallace: I think that's Rhonda's sister. Natalie?
Veronica: Are you sure there's a "P." before that "W.T."?
Wallace: That's definitely her. She drives a 'Vette now? Last year, she offered to make out with me for cigarette money.
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Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 8:50 am
Nevermind the Buttocks
Logan: Kendall requires a domestic staff to make cereal. Do you really think she could plot a murder?
Veronica: Plymouth Baracuda 1970 to '73. Good news, Harry! I don't see a lot of Cudas except on Nash Bridges reruns.
Cliff: I'm sure Ms. Mars has had the required sexual education course provided by Neptune High School.
Veronica: I got an A minus. Plus, I watch Animal Planet.
Veronica: Remember back when you were doing the deed with d**k's stepmom?
Logan: Vaguely. I remember she thought I was hot.
Veronica: Were you with her on the day of the crash? You two talked on the phone a few times that day.
Logan: Man, you're obsessed with my sex life. Do I need to start carrying around a webcam from now on?
Veronica: Logan.
Logan: Day of the crash, day of the crash....uh, I'd really have to consult my feelings journal to be sure.
Logan: Kendall requires a domestic staff to make cereal. You think she really could plot a murder?
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Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 8:51 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 8:52 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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