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 Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2019 6:21 pm
"Being alone isn't a bad thing. It can be peaceful, and sometimes hearing people around you moving around and making noise at all hours isn't fun when you want to sleep or just want to have some peace. A couple people here okay music or stomp real loud. A senshi moved in a few days ago and they were bringing in some furniture -" He winced. "It was not great hearing that furniture banging up the stairs and down the hallway."
"Anyways, if I want anyone, doesn't mean I can't ask around. The thing needs to be approved and then it will take a long time for it to be built. Months at least. Lots of things can happen from here to there." He said.
"But a Ikea trip of and when it happens sounds fun."
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Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2019 6:33 pm
”I know that, for sure. As you know, I spend most of my time alone, so I understand.” For as expensive of a place he lived him, he was damned sure to make sure that the walls were padded In one way or another. No one wanted to hear strange sounds seeping through cheap walls.
Again, he was thankful he didn’t have to sleep in the barracks. He would have gone mad, for certain.
“Ikea... Perhaps to Best Buy or some other electronics store for a properly large sized TV... Ah, and of course your own pots and pans of good quality...” ‘Mali was beginning a list in his head, all the things that would make sense to get for someone moving out to be on their own. There were so many things, it reminded him of when he and his sister moved out of the family home and into he apartment they were in now..
“I would be happy to give you access to my Amazon account as well. There’s a card already attached to it, so you could simply buy whatever you’d think you’d might need, have it shipped to my home, and then we can pick it up there to teleport. As you said it may be months.... Maybe I’ll be strong enough by then to teleport on my own and deliver it myself.”
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Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2019 7:12 pm
"Whoa there." Wolframite set his controller aside.
"Mali, I really appreciate the help, but - I'm not comfortable just going on a shopping spree on your dime. I'd feel like a moocher or that I was abusing our friendship but taking things I couldn't pay in any way you'd want back. It's a especially nice offer and I know it comes from your desire to help out, but - it feels a bit much. Like maybe I was taking advantage of your feelings. I don't want our friendship to be like that. Okay?"
He knew he could be selfish, but letting Mali buy him everything he ever wanted felt - well. Could he call Mali a Sugar Daddy if he was younger then him?
Now that was something he couldn't say to the other out loud.
"I'd like to earn it. Keep everything even so no one feels anyone is not getting what they want." Which, speaking of it.
"Um, which I guess is a friend to you? I can't be the guy you tell secrets to I guess. Hmmm. I guess someone to hang out with whenever you want company?" What was he now that he couldn't give him the happiness he anted? When he couldn't give him the love he wanted? When Mali couldn't talk to him with complete abandon due to his past feelings and Wolframite's loyalties.
"Right?"
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Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2019 7:25 pm
’Mali was prepared to go on and on and on about the shopping list they might have needed for Wolframite’s new living quarters. He was halfway through opening his data pad to start jotting down notes and reminds when Wolframite stopped him. How disappointing...
“Ah, yes, I was getting ahead of myself... I do like to shop when I have a reason for it, and it comes so naturally, my desire to want to help you out however I can. I’m honestly not too good for much beyond my credit card.” Of course, he said this in jest and tucked away the data pad once again. “It’s not advantage, it’s just what I want to do. If it makes you feel better, then make a list for Christmas and whatever you decided your birthday is, and I will keep that in mind.”
With how light-hearted things had been going, ‘Mali hadn’t expected at all the conversation to shift back to seriousness...
“You’re certainly more than a friend, Wolframite. There’s still that dedication there... And the desire to be close to you. A selfish one at that. But it’s true, I cannot tell you everything. I’m not sure if there’s a label to define what we are. You are my first friend, and, if I am honest, the first person I’ve had a crush on. Combined... I have no Idea. You are simply you. Vivre, Wolframite, Wolfy, Vitriol. Just... You.”
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Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2019 7:33 pm
"Yeah but..." He turned around from facing the TV to Mali instead.
"You say I'm these things, but they conflict. You HAD a crush on me. It's not like you do anymore. So I'm not a romantic thing anymore between us. We're not comrades really cause you're not friends with me cause of work or want to train and work for the Negaverse together. I guess I'm trying to figure out where the lines are so I don't cross em. So I don't step out of bounds so I'm trying to figure what we are again."
"What am I to you or - what should I never do? What am I offering you?" He asked. "That way I can keep offering the thing you get from me by being my friend."
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Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2019 7:43 pm
”...” ‘Mali grew quiet, unsure of what to say... There was no distraction from the TV, not with Wolframite sitting and staring straight at him.
The hard he thought of an answer, the less sure he became.
“I don’t know. How am I supposed to explain and quantify what you can and cannot do for me? I’m not so aware of myself that I know exactly when something’s gone too far. It is something that would make sense in that moment. It makes me happy being around you. And it made me absolutely thrilled when you finally decided how important I am to you. What you’re asking now makes me feel as if that promise is for nothing, if all of a sudden I draw a line somewhere.” He shifted positions now, sitting up fully straight, only using that moment to buy himself more time to think.
“If I drew that line now, then there’s no reason for you to take back what you said if it doesn’t suit your needs either. Way back when, I told you that I gave you the name Vivre because you make me happy. And you very much still do, but I can’t place a name on the ‘why’’ Or the ‘how’. It just is.”
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Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2019 8:02 pm
He tilted his head just a bit. "They are just boundaries. Like rules to follow so everyone can be hapoy. We already have them. Promises not to touch. Like not insulting the Queen near me. And now, where I don't talk about our love lives. Just things you don't want us to talk about or do."
"I don't get how that would make me not follow my promise. In our everyday time together, there are things we don't like. I promised in an extreme case, I could make an exception. That doesn't mean every time you ask that I'd put the Negaverse before you just on whatever whim you had. That's like asking me to out my home and my family before one person permanently. You can't abuse that promise to always be before a promise I made to the Queen."
"Like I have a boundary too." He said, staring back at Mali.
"Don't bring up my ex husband again." The time was firm but calm.
His tone perked back up.
"See. Just little things, Mali. I work better when I know things you don't like. Everyone has things they don't like in relationships."
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Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2019 8:24 pm
[ ”As I said, if I’ve not already stated it once before, then I won’t know about it until it comes up again. I don’t have secrets to hide or some dark, depressing past I’m forcing myself to ignore. I’m an open book, and always have been, atleast for you.” Wolframite’s words were getting under his skin, and it was clear as day on his face, a scowl starting to replace his ease. His arms folded across his chest, closing himself off from his friend, as if offended.
“Do you really think me that stupid? Of course I know you wouldn’t do absolutely everything I asked, and I’m not the kind of person who would demand you throw yourself under a bus or anything along those lines just because of a whim. Quite frankly, I’m ashamed you’d even imagine me doing such a thing.” Why did it always end up this way? From good, to bad, from happy to agitated, it seemed like there wasn’t a single time they could just be content with one another.
Just the very thought of that irritated him further.
“Fine. I don’t like it when we’re having a good time and all of a sudden you decide to change the subject into something we clearly don’t need to talk about right away. And I don’t like it when you bring up your promise to the Queen. I know, I know, you talk about constantly being a tool for the Negaverse every single time we meet, and it’s becoming a trite subject. You can be the Negaverse’s dog on someone else’s time, not when I’m here trying to have fun and provide an opportunity to relax without much thought. But you can’t seem to just let your thoughts die out for a fun, easy chat, can you? And here I was being told that I’m the stick in the mud.”
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Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2019 8:57 pm
"Stop calling me a dog!" He shouted back, ears back.
"I didn't like it when your damn friend called me that. I don't like it when you call me that. How is that even nice? I never said anything like that to you. I don't call you names or make fun of what you believe in or dedicate your time to?! I don't insult your photography or modeling or Lori or your Mauvian when you consider them important to your life. Why do you Always do that."
"And what is that supposed to mean about my past. I shared that with you. I trusted you to tell you. Not to make fun of me for it. What is wrong with you? Why are you being like this? I'm just trying to have a conversation about our friendship but you always get upset. I just wanted you to tell me what makes you happy by finding out what makes you upset. How is that hard? I can list penty of s**t that pissed me off that people do that I wouldn't like. I know stuff I let you do that I don't let others do."
He sighed and sat back, reaching to come back his raised hair. "I just wanted us to have a normal conversation. It's like you don't like it when I wanna ask more and try and figure things out about you."
"And if we don't talk about it now, then when? Cause I feel like it's a good time and you never do."
"And I only have to keep bring up my feelings for my home and everyone here because you keep ignoring it like you're covering your ears so it doesn't exist when it's a part of me. A part I love and makes me happy."
He was quiet. "So am I only good for a fun time when it's topics you like. You say no boundaries but you don't see we have a lot of lines we can't cross already. Is that the only thing you want from me. When you said you hoped I could make you happy, I didn't even get what that meant. And I've been trying to figure that out since I haven't been doing it well but how can I whenever I ask for some guidance, this happens. I don't know what makes you happy, Mali. I can't make you happy as a lover. I can't make you happy as someone on the side. I can't make you happy as a fellow negaverser. I thought friend was where I was at but I need something to go on."
He set the controller to the side.
Gifts. Games.
Maybe it was like being a dog. Happy when Mali showed up where their master was their world. Happy to play. To listen. No barking.
"It's like these games. I don't know how everything works. Getting some pointers on the mechanics helps me play better. But without em, I'm going to keep staying at the same level."
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Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2019 9:11 pm
’Mali let the halfling shout at him. He sat there quiet, allowing him to get out all the words that needed to be said.
And as he spoke and went on about how he was in the wrong here, the senshi thought long and hard about why he was still here.
Originally, it was infatuation. Pure and simple. A curiosity sparked from something new, something unfamiliar and unique enough that he dared give it any of his time. And from there, it developed into some sort of desire to change Wolframite.
He said he couldn’t love, ‘Mali wanted to show him he could. He said he would only give his all to the Queen and the Negaverse, ‘Mali wanted to be the one thing that could surpass this.
He had been deeply and utterly selfish, and he knew this. And when it came down to it, the simple fact was that he just couldn’t win.
There had been a reason why he had no previously relationships outside of his home. It grew tiring. People grew annoying, on his nerves, asking him for more than he was willing to give, and he refused to ask for anything less than the other person’s all.
... Perhaps that was what doomed everything in the first place.
Gryphon was different though, and the more Wolframite spoke, the clearly it became. Exactly why he had given Gryphon the time he asked for despite their horrid circumstances. The man had never asked much of him, with the only desire was to see Landry have a good time. And it was glorious and wonderful and all Landry wanted.
Unlike this, where even a good time ended with them shouting and feelings hurting.
With that realization, ‘Mali stood, gently setting the controller on the table before heading towards the door.
“I don’t think this is going to work. I tried, but I don’t want to keep trying any more. Perhaps then, rather than fighting every time we lay eyes on one another, it’s best to just call it quits. It’s easier on both of us that way. The only one that needs to be drawn is the finish line, and I think this is it. I’m tired of this stupid game we keep playing. Perhaps it is best if I do keep pretending that this world you live in doesn’t exist. Eventually I won’t be part of it anyway.”
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Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2019 9:27 pm
He stared back, eyes wide as he sat there..
"What?"
He said it so clearly as of this was all practiced and it was so easy. That he could just stand up - end it.
He had no words, and he glanced around his room.for some answer or question before settling them on Mali again.
At his door - already finished and with a decision in only a few moments.
Mali was done with him.
"Oh."
He was tired being here. All of this had been a stupid game to him.
When it got hard - game over. There were plenty of other games to play. New partners.
Why keep fighting to keep fighting if they were already quitting and done?
Mali didn't want to be part of his world because it wasn't a world he approved of or would ever approve of.
He only wanted you for either love or fun.
And yet it hurt. He knew all of this and it hurt.
He didn't stop Mali, and instead looked away, not trusting himself to look at him anymore.
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Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2019 9:34 pm
Had Wolframite said what he thought outloud, ‘Mali would have confirmed it.
It had been a game driven by infatuation never felt before. And with that gone, there simply wasn’t enough blind faith to keep the senshi going.
And it seemed like the same could be said about Wolframite. The man didn’t make to move or stop him. No further reasoning or pleading. Not that it would have mattered anyway anymore.
It was fine. As the halfling said himself, he had new friends to keep him company, people more like him, more dedicated to this damned war than he could ever be. It was only fitting they would drift apart.
What reason did he have to remain anymore?
“... I’ll see you on the other side.” Then the door opened, and closed, with ‘Mali heading down the hall.
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