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 Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 5:45 pm
Its expression went somber and a crease of annoyance crossed its features as it listened.
"I can't do that because you dedicating yourself to me would make me seem as if I was better than the Queen. I do not decide for myself. Even more, I'm sworn to the Queen. I have knelt before her and given all of me and what I will ever be to her and her cause. It doesn't matter if she doesn't care about my death. If she wills me to throw myself into the fire, I will gladly serve that purpose."
"Swearing yourself to me is an oath to the Queen. I am hers. I am everyone's. I am their knife. Their dog. Their youma. Their soldier. Whatever is willed from them, I will do it. You'd be swearing yourself to a butcher's knife instead of the master of the house. My actions are that of the Negaverse. My life is theirs. My body is theres. To be with me is to be on this path. A path I cannot wander form for anyone. it is one I pledged my life to the day I became a half-youma. When I was reborn to this life." It said, its tone calm but clear. Mali was hoping for it to lead it and make it better, but it was no better than the generals and superiors. It was a mockery for it to then try to be the corrupted senshi's sovereign. It - a half-youma who didn't even earn its own name.
"If I should die, then who would you be sworn to? Do you understand that? You should be sworn to those in power and those who gave you that power and not be ungrateful for it. You expect recognition and your name to be known when you haven't even been promoted. If you want to be seen by her and by others then do something deserving of it." It said, disappointed by Mali's response.
It continued to lead them through the Hall of Shadows.
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 6:24 pm
"Maybe to you, it doesn't matter, but to me it does. My life isn't to be thrown away at the whims of a cause I do not care about, because I've not been given a reason to. I'd rather choose a blade than the master, because the master can replace me the moment I fail their expectations. A blade would there by my side, a symbol that I know what my duty is, what my dedication is to, even if the master of the place changes. After all, a favored blade is one you take with you, and bring with you to your next destination, not something cheap to be left behind for some unloved set of tools provided for free." It was all beginning to make sense now, how Vivre saw himself.
"... It was wrong of me to say anything. I see now, it's not my place to want what wasn't available in the first place. And you know what? I really do not care if it was wrong or not. And it's my choice to dwell on that fact or not. I don't regret asking for what I wanted, and to be told no and to offer another suggestion, well, that was your choice." With each step further back to the safe place and out of the Hall of Shadows, the rage within him built. Of being told no, of being told Vivre's life was any less important than some damned royalty who sit up on their high thrown, not caring for a moment the thoughts and feelings of those who followed them.
He didn't ******** care about their wants.
"I don't expect a single damned thing from anyone. Their opinions on me, my lack of success, my bare-minimum effort, means less than nothing to me. They can keep their damned recognition to themselves!" This time his voice snapped, and he half shouted his thoughts. He tugged hard on Vivre's paw, stomping his march forward dead his tracks, standing firm there in the Hall no longer caring about the shadows that tapped that glass only a few feet away.
Let them swirl and claw and struggle. That too, Mali did not care about.
There were no smiles left in Mali for now, only a bitter feeling of regret for having ever said anything out loud.
"Should you die, should Nubi die, should Obie die, I'd be lost and it would be my own fault, for certain, but at least it's my choice to let my own self suffer and no one else's! Why the hell should I be grateful for anything given to me that wasn't my own choice?! But I can't even be mad at you for not understanding my thoughts and feelings, it's as you said, you don't even belong to yourself. And I truly shouldn't have asked anything of you. Hell, you don't even know me, I expected too much."
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 6:37 pm
Its eyes went wide as Mali took its hand away and the shadows moved and shifted upon the clear disruption between them. Panicked, it moved closer only to have Mali continue. This was not a good place to have any of this conversation. Maybe it all had been a bad idea. It should have talked to Mali more, gotten to know him and his emotional state, before risking his life to come into such a dangerous place. If the senshi should come to harm, it would be on its head, and it could not afford any marks against it.
Heart beating quickly, it moved closer only in hopes it would prevent any action from the shadows. Worst among this disagreement was the clearly traitorous thoughts the senshi was shouting, and it felt a sense of familiarity with Mali's words as they echoed back to how he felt long ago. Before it purified. But now, now it wanted to distance itself from these things. To not associate with them should they stir any old faults in itself and taint it again. But at the same time, it wanted to keep Mali away from them as well.
"You said you wanted to be my friend. You were the one that wanted that and now you are upset when you want all of me. I'm not apologizing for giving an oath to someone you care nothing for. Not to those important to me. I made those decisions and I stick to them. That is how my loyalty works. I do not have a family, Mali. THIS is my family. You should at least get that!"
"But if you want to be angry about it, then be angry about it. But. Not. HERE!" He placed both of his paws upon the other man's chest and shoved him hard and continued to push as much as he could in order to get him OUT of the Hallway else he die.
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 6:56 pm
"I am not upset nor rejecting any part of you. I want that connection to you! I can accept who you are, who you serve, but I'll be damned if I let those confused feelings for you force me into a lie that I know I cannot commit to! I am not you, Vivre! We don't see the same thing, I can't see this organization as my family because for what reason have they proven it? Leaving Nubi and myself abandoned in the street after saving our lives and demanding a debt?! How is that good!? How is demanding anything from me reason to think I owe them anything more than I give them now! Your queen is not mine!" Mali dug his heels in hard, trying to keep Vivre from pushing him any further.
Each step of resistance was a struggle, his strength far lacking that of Vivre's for that same damned fact again. He was a senshi.
"Why the hell should I move?! Because I will die!? Because you'll face some damned punishment for an accident that I caused? Where is the justice in that?! Why would I serve anyone who would kill me or maim me or worse just because of something out of my control?! It makes no sense! I don't have that life or death nonsense of forced gratitude like you do, because clearly my life never mattered to them in the first place! Let me go, NOW!"
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 7:08 pm
THIS IDIOT IS GOING TO DIE!
Growling, Vitriol squared his footing, curled its fist, and threw a punch right into the senshi's face and then kicked at his knees.
"BECAUSE! I don't want to see you dead you moron!" It shouted, and grabbed the nap of the man's uniformed top with both hands and started to drag his body out of the Hall of Shadows.
"For someone who cares about your damn family HAVE SOME ******** SENSE! What the hell would Nubi and Obie do if you died because of a stupid fight?" It gritted its teeth as it continued to heave Mali's body step by step towards the entrance.
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 7:31 pm
Mali had not a second to prepare when that fist came in contact with his face, the feeling of pain erupting from the contact near instantaneous. Perhaps a normal punch wouldn't have caused those lenses on his face to crack, but a punch of that size, and that power? Bit by bit fell from the frame, and the next moment, he fell hard to the hall floor, yelping at even more pain shooting through his bruised knees.
Before he could recover, claws grabbed his uniform, dragging him about towards the exit. Each yank backwards graced Mali with a shredding sound that echoed along with Vitriol's own shouting.
It wasn't within his power to escape now, even if he struggled to regain his footing and atleast let himself step out of the Hall with some drop of dignity or grace. And by the time he was out, he was dropped hard on the ground as they left the Hall of Shadows behind.
"I already said it, they don't need me for anything... I am just holding onto borrowed time before I'm entirely replaced with someone better..." A hand came up to wipe away blood that was beginning to form and drip down from a few cuts on his face but he did not move from his spot on the cold hard ground. That punch had winded him and left him dazed.. Even worse, with his glasses shattered, he couldn't see a damned thing.
"I think by now you should know I don't belong here... What will you do now?"
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 7:42 pm
Once out of the Hallway, Vit dropped the senshi and dropped down to sit, breathing hard. Despite being fit, its body was still newly adjusting. The muscles weren't trained like its old body. Not to mention it was still a lieutenant and Mali was tall.
"I'm going to my room and laying down. That's what I'm going to do." It said.
"Mali, you can't reverse time. What happened, happened. You're a agent now. There isn't any reversing it unless you really do want to die and if you want to do that, then at least say your goodbyes to your family with some respect before you do it. But not in there. Not where you'll be in some eternal hell."
It said as it pointed to the Hallway.
"You need to find some new reason for living and stop trying to throw your life away. If you don't care about our leaders. At least care for something to keep going. Find someone better able to meet your expectations because I'm not it. I can't be." It breathed out deep, panting and taking breathes to cool down.
Moving, it came over to peel off the glasses from Mali's face. At least with uniforms, the glasses would be replaced once he powered up again. Brushing away blood, it pulled a ribbon loose from its shirt and used it to wipe at the blood, hoping it didn't just blind the man on accident.
It had forgot about the glasses in its effort to keep the senshi safe.
"I think you're going to have issues. With the way you are talking. That's treason." It said. "I can't ignore that."
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 8:05 pm
A soft, bitter half-chuckle left Mali as he peeled himself more fully off the floor, sitting up cross-legged to at least not look like a total mess.
"I didn't know you had a sense of humor." Not that he had much of his own.
The lecture started again, but the fight was leaving him quickly. There was no point in arguing anymore.
Though... He didn't expect kindness from Vivre, much less the young man tending so gently to his face... It meant nothing, just a duty he had to fulfill, surely.
They couldn't be friends. After all, he was a traitor now.
"I wasn't trying to throw my life away. Just because I don't fear death doesn't mean I desire for it to come any sooner. You told me... You told me that I could say anything I wanted to you, that you wouldn't ever meet anyone I know to share my thoughts with. It was my own fault to be so trusting and to allow myself to be honest. We aren't close. I was foolish, and now I should have to pay the price for it." Even with saying that, he closed his eyes and savored this moment. Someone tending to him instead of the other way around never happened. It was a small bit of comfort in a situation that would have no happy ending.
"... Do what you must. That's your choice to make, Vivre."
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 8:21 pm
This was all too much and it felt too tired for any of it.
"You don't want to be known as a traitor. You're life will be hell and Nubi could be separated from you as you could be seen as a corrupting influence on her. Do you know that? Do you know that the Field of Traitors is far more terrifying a place then the Hall of Shadows you almost let yourself be taken by?"
"You just shouted your feelings about Metallia and the Queen to many ears. Not just mine. I can't protect you if you don't even want to protect yourself. If you want to fight against the very forces that you serve under. Even if you don't like it, there isn't any reversing it. And if you try to purify, if you dare to even utter that thought, then even your own sister will be your enemy. I will be your enemy. Everyone here will be after you and everyone you care about. Then you might as well be dead then."
"I won't mention it to a officer if you say you are going to keep your head low and do what's asked of you. But if you - if you keep talking like that. Then it won't matter if I write a report. They will find out. Then you'll be talked to and they will decide what happens. You don't want them to decide how this goes. The choice is that you either let them take you or you survive by playing the game. If you don't want to be excited about it, if you don't care about their goals, at least keep following orders to live."
"Will you stop it? Will you be a good boy?" It asked.
With enough wipes away, it looked at Mali's face. "Try opening your eyes."
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 8:54 pm
Vivre wasn't the only one tired from all of this. Mali had gone through emotion after emotion in rapid succession in the short time he had been in the pleasure of the halfling's company. For now he only wanted to sit and take in the minor joy that was the feeling of Vivre's fur against his bruised in battered skin.
"Allow me a moment of self pity, Vivre... The more you speak, the more I realize I never had any choices to begin with..." It was foolish to dwell on it all, on every single thing he had felt wronged him, and he knew this. Most thoughts were left locked up inside, and obviously for good reason. Had he always been so honest, being bloodied on the floor would likely happen much more often.
"Do you really think that if I were to leave, they'd care? I know nothing, am nothing, so why would they try so hard to reel me back in and kill me? Let's be clear, it was never a thought on my mind, you assumed this. And you also assumed I wouldn't do what I needed to survive, as if I hadn't been already... I've noticed you've done that alot, think you know how I function because I am stupid enough to be honest with you due to an unwarranted amount of affection towards you." His eyes remained closed as that claw tended to his face. Impressive, really, how delicate of a touch it could be.
It was as if Vivre actually cared. A nice thought, anyway.
"I've always been a good boy. That was never in question. It was more along the lines of 'could I be your good boy. But no matter, you've given your answer. As I said, I allowed myself to be too honest, too soon, but I swear to you, I wouldn't risk my sisters life with something as foolish as purifying. You said those words, not me." Slowly, he opened his eyes and leaned closer, inches away from Vivre's own face to see him clearly... He'd be blind until he powered down again, and that wasn't something he was about to do here.
"... I can't see anything but the glow of your eyes."
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 9:25 pm
"I have a bad habit of that." It admitted. "I assume the worst of people. I'm also terrible at talking. You hadn't noticed yet."
Unwarranted amount of affection towards you.
It paused, staring back at the closed-eyed senshi. It had been careful and close to this point, having wanted to not walk out of the Rift with a bleeding mess of a officer and to make sure, beyond all things, that it didn't remove something so valuable. Eyesight. Typically it wouldn't even dare bring its claws towards his face, but the past few weeks had let it learn how to clean without scratching. It just required it to wrap the ribbon about three claws and use the curved backside to brush along the skin. This kept the edges towards it and not at anyone else. Like brushing a spoon's underside against a surface.
Could I be YOUR good boy.
It was quiet still, watching him speak.
And then the eyes parted. Dark violet like the glow Nega-crystals.
I can't see anything but the glow of your eyes.
It stepped back, staring. It said nothing.
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 9:42 pm
”It’s my fault as well, I haven’t exactly been the best at seeming like a good person either.” Bruises were beginning to form on the tops of his cheeks, making it hurt to move his face too much. The smile still came up though, up until Vivre pulled away and stood up.
“Vivre...?” He called out his name softly, concerned that his companion would draw away from him fully and leave him here looking like an idiot sprawls on the ground.
“I know were weren’t exactly getting along, but I’d appreciate it if you’d be so kind to take me back to the barracks with you if you’re going back there. I had thought this meeting would go on longer, and that we’d explore deeper but... Things don’t seem to go as planned these days. I still have some time until the general I spoke to is available to return me to the surface.” Mali knew he was likely pushing his luck with asking for anything, but without his sight, he was even more likely to take a wrong step somewhere.
“I feel one hell of a headache, no, a whole faceache coming on... If there’s a free bed, I think I’d like to rest a bit before I have to leave.”
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 9:53 pm
Oh. Glasses. That's why.
Assumptions. He was making assumptions.
Taking a breath, he moved back into Mali's field of vision. "There is one. I'll take you there." After kicking out his knees and punching him, it wasn't sure if the senshi could walk.
"Here." He knelt down before him and tapped its shoulder. "Put your hands over here and I'll take you there. I'd carry you but you're too tall and I'm a bit tired too now." It wanted to sleep till today was over and done with.
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 10:08 pm
It wasn’t until Vivre offered his shoulder and he bothered to stand that Mali realized just how banged up their little scuffle (or his beat down) had left him. Surely more bruises wouldn’t form... And even if they did, if he were lucky, the make-up joins on his knees would hide them.
It was till somewhat chilly in the city. He could get away with hiding them from Lori. Not much to do about his face though.
More weight than expected was put on to the halfling’s shoulder. The height difference between them made this almost amusingly difficult, and Mali gave an apologetic smile.
“Thank you, Vivre... The sooner we rest the better...”
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 10:12 pm
"Yeah." It agreed, and with some balancing of weight, it lead them to the barracks.
FIN
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