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kuropeco rolled 1 6-sided dice:
4
Total: 4 (1-6)
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 Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 3:54 pm
Lieutenant Alabaster | DMG: 4 | BOSS HP: 3
What was going to happen was that he was going to be eaten just like that other lieutenant and it was going to be terrible and he was going to lose his very impressive uniform (which probably cost more than he was willing to spend to get it repaired) and then he was going to have to return to some general who would tell him he'd done a bad job and that was a terrible prospect.
Especially since he didn't have a general anymore to report to. Thanks a lot, Stillwaterite.
There was the other general, the one Sinoite responded to, but like hell was Alabaster going to get stuck with his quota again. He swung his cane around, possibly whacking a few unsuspecting people in the shins with it as he did so, Alabaster taking a dramatic lunge towards the youma and smacking it square in the side.
He narrowly missed its wide, gaping teeth. This was productivity. He was doing better.
Maybe.
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kuropeco rolled 1 6-sided dice:
5
Total: 5 (1-6)
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 3:56 pm
Lieutenant Alabaster | DMG: 5 | BOSS HP: ded
He smacked it again for good measure.
It smacked back. Rudely.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 4:26 pm
Lieutenant Lyonsite"Well, I mean fair." Lyonsite quipped back to Cabbage Patch. Yeah, she'd want a Goku, too. Never really died and just kept powering up? Yeah, that'd be pretty bomb. "Uh---" She was starting to try and pry at the mouth when she looked over her shoulder for said chairs. Those were really far. "I dunno, Cabbage Patch, and loose the position we have, now?" She immediately whipped her head around though to Quintinite when the man called out to her, and she called out back, grinning, "The only flirting you know is deep fried greasy eyes that lie in a red plastic basket with a checkered pattern under it!" She also couldn't help but notice the half youma though, and she shot him a wide grin as well. "Hey!" She called out, "NOICE! You were landing in a rain of hits as well!" That push towards the end was great.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 4:29 pm
The youma howled at the continued onslaught, enraged that it wasn't able to devour or smash these puny insects into the ground. As blow after blow rained down upon its body, the massive creature gave a shudder, twisted--and exploded in an ashen cloud of dust that threatened to choke the occupants of the room. Lieutenant Tyrolite would be rudely deposited on the floor, safe and sound... if drenched in spit and stomach juices. A perfect combination of disgusting, really.
In the meantime, the door had been kicked open again. "Oh. You actually did it." Obsidian sounded surprised? Impressed? Disappointed? Definitely disappointed. "I had prizes made and everything for when you failed." The redhead frowned down at his feet for a moment, then shrugged. "Ah, ******** it. Y'all got the gist, right? Somehow, what was a fight for our lives against the, you know, space invaders, turned into a pissing match. If we want to win, we've got to fight like we wanna kill things.?" He spread his hands, raising his brows as though to entreat to his audience.
"Well, whatever. Hold up before you run off." And each person, regardless if they wanted it or not (if they fought him, he wasn't above pinning them down), would find a ribbon pinned to their chest.... and something that looked suspiciously like a hunk of dead flesh.
Hm.
"Yaaaaaaaaaay." He clapped his hands together once he was finished, looking extremely satisfied with himself. "So? Questions? Concerns? Nobody died, so I don't want to hear any bitching."
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 4:38 pm
Lieutenant Vitriol(Wolframite is using a codemane of Vitriol for the time being. He would not be recognizable by others in his past due to his new appearance.)
The youma did as every youma always did when attacked in the city. It turned to ash. However, that didn't seem to be entirely true as it did leave a nice filmy residue on the man it ate and Wolframite looked over at him wondering just how many showers that would take to get that out. Hopefully he had a good body wash at home.
Just as the youma was gone, their instructor had come back to see that they sadly did not die or get eaten. What would be the reason for that? Maybe he valued the youma more than the attendees and if so, why even host this whole thing?
Questions aside, there was one important one. Did he get the most hits in?
As the others called to him (he hadn't actually gotten anyones names), he beamed back. "Thanks! You all were really getting in there too. Do you want dinner too?" He asked.
And then, as Obsidian came to him, he was given a golden ribbon and.....something.
Holding the blob in his hand, he stared at it and gave it a small sniff. Was it - alive? Was it - edible?
"Can...................we eat this?" He asked.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 4:40 pm
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 4:57 pm
He paused to look at the half-youma when he was addressed, tilting his head at the question. "Eat it..." Obsidian said slowly, as though trying to make sure he understood the question. Then, he clapped a hand on Vitriol's shoulder, looking deep into those creepy, glowy little eyes of his.
"Yes," The redhead said somberly. "Yes, you absolutely can. Please do so now." His evening entertainment, of course, was immediately interrupted a lieutenant. Typical.
"Your badge of honor.' Obsidian said without hesitation, green eyes cutting towards Lieutenant Alabaster. "I mean, I could have just given you an eyeball, I guess, but I was being really thoughtful and figured you didn't want eye juices soaking into your uniform. You're welcome."
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 5:05 pm
Lieutenant Datolite
Datolite pursed her lips, then nodded. "Alright, you right, so on three you open and I go in--" And then the youma exploded into ash and Datolite recoiled, covering her mouth with her hands. After that whole bottle thing, she wasn't about to die to choking on dust a second time.
She saw a pink sash and the adrenaline in her veins said go to him, but she found herself stilled and distracted by General Dickbutt's grand return. Datolite's expression returned to something neutral while he waxed poetical about whatever war they were fighting, the point in making them sweat, how very disappointed he was that they weren't all just eaten.
He was just going to have to continue to be disappointed, because Datolite didn't plan on getting munched by anything unless it was like, in a fun way.
"Yeah, uh, I have a few questions," Datolite hummed flatly when he placed the pin on her cloak, trying not to crawl out of her skin when he placed dead flesh oh god was that youma goop on her. "First of all, how dare you?" She didn't like to be thrown on emotional roller-coasters. Nobody made her feel feelings except her. Her gaze quivered between the general and Tyrolite, still hunched over on the ground.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 5:15 pm
Lieutenant Vitriol
There was nothing but a very serious tone in the General's voice and assured him he could indeed eat this. This was some kind of meat, and hell, if they could eat starseeds that were actually the condensed mineral of a human's soul, then this could be just as good. Especially since they just fought a massive youma. A boost to make them feel better was probably very well planned for having succeeded. Maybe they had changed things since last he had been in the Negaverse and they had many new alternatives given that massive starseed consumption had its addiction risks.
It was slightly soft though in his hand and - warm?
There was a brief moment where he wondered; Did youma have food allergies? Did he have food allergies? He couldn't remember though. Oh well.
He lifted his arms up and bite into the soft gray flesh of the meat, taking a bite and pulling it away from the whole.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 6:00 pm
"How dare you?" He mocked, twisting his voice a few octaves higher. His eyes were half-lidded as he bared his teeth at the lieutenant in a grin. He didn't recognize her. That was okay. He didn't recognize any of them. Not every lieutenant lived long enough to progress, and quite honestly, he just didn't give enough of a damn to go around making social calls. "Because I can? You showed up to this all on your own, cupcake. Sorry not sorry. I'll get you the manager. Next question?"
Obsidian paused as the half-youma bit into the fleshy badge of sorts, biting his lower lip as he tried not to cackle. Holy s**t. He loved lieutenants. They were like lemmings: numerous and so very, very stupid. "Tasty?" He managed to say without letting his voice crack from mirth, folding his arms behind his back.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 6:13 pm
Penikisite was still grinning miles wide as he squeezed the remnants of the youma in his palm like a damn stress relief toy, and he made for the general, forgetting his earlier annoyance with him in favor of one simple question - "When can we do this again?" Forget complaining. He would've done it all over again right now if he could've. If anything, it was too short-lived.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 6:19 pm
There was a resistance against his teeth, like eating gristle, and yet still had a texture of something too soft, like spoiled avocados and salted meat. Even with a few chews he could feel something that might be off about the whole texture, but he remembered his first starseed. How much it felt like eating those small, glass figures but filled with battery acid and crackling metal sparks. This did not have quite the intensity as the other and was more wet, melting, and left a lump of whatever made it's core resting unable to be fully broken down in his mouth. Like fat and chewing gum.
Already having gone through the actions of chewing, there really wasn't anything he could do now, and every little less with a General watching him. Spitting it out was not an option now, and so he tried to swallow it. There was a split second of where his throat resisted this action but finally yielded to pressure to allow the lump to pass down his throat.
He instantly regretted it as his body shuddered.
"I hate to say it....sir....but........starseeds are better." He said, looking at the lump still left in his hands and wishing he knew where a trash bin was in here.
Rations didn't seem so bad now.
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Posted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 6:38 pm
Captain Tantalite"No, you don't - GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME - I am not taking that, you smug, selfish, BRUTISH, son of a -" Tantalite absolutely did not want to accept the little medal. Tsunake Because I knew you'd find this funny.
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