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Lawrence watched Melvin undress and head into the water with his usual curiosity. Lingering on the river bank he felt like he was being a bit of a stick in the mud over it all, and Melvin’s assertion that where he was standing shallow made him more aware of this fact. Exhaling in a shallow and slightly nervous way, he sat down to remove his own boots, carefully removing his own layers again one by one until he was fully undressed.

Nudity was a complex issue for Lawrence, in his youth he had no shame whatsoever, gladly flaunting his handsome body at any opportunity, but age had crept in and with heightened paranoia and vanity had come a certain degree of reservation about it all. Everything he did was designed to portray himself how he wanted to be thought of. He didn’t want people looking at him and thinking that he was old or frail, that he was past his prime or that his very visible ribs and hips were a sign of some mental weakness on his part.

But it was just Melvin, there was no one around but them.

He edged into the water, his heart kicking up in pace automatically at the thought of it, always deeply deeply paranoid about water and its potential place in ending his life. Shields couldn’t save him from it and that was important. It was cold, even despite the hot day, and he sharply inhaled as he moved out towards Melvin, his pupils wide and a little wild. “How shallow is shallow.” He said, a little high pitched.

This seemed to have its intended effect and a little of the uncertainty and fear in Lawrence was replaced with a more heartened smile. "I'm glad." he said. "Just promise me if I get into trouble you won't let me go."

And he carefully stepped forward until the water was around his middle, his breathing quicker once he couldn't properly see the bottom.

"I can't imagine how some people can bear to have sex in water like this." he shivered. "Whenever I can't see what I'm standing on I feel like I will never get aroused ever again. I think if something brushed my foot I'd panic."

He said this like panic was a new and novel concept that he didn't experience much.

"Maybe." he said. "A bigger bathtub. With hidden dangers, depths, things that can pull you down, icy suffocating darkness. Death just below the surface reaching up to you and you can't even see it."

He looked down at the water's surface, looking even paler than usual.

"I remember how it felt, swimming out to that boat at Wonder Park, knowing that I probably wasn't going to make it, I could feel my energy giving out, I started to go under, I knew that if he went down again I wouldn't be able to come back up. I think about it every single time I'm in water. I wasn't afraid because it didn't matter, like everything else didn't matter but for some reason I didn't want to die to it, not there or then."

He moved his hand in the water. "I don't want to die in it here either."

Lawrence nodded quietly. "Yes. Though I can't guarantee I wouldn't panic and pull you down too though." he exhaled. "I tend to summon my weapon out of reflex and Butch is very heavy when it comes down to it."

He took hold of Melvins hand with his and brought it up to his lips, drawing Melvin closer to him as he did it. He kissed the back of his hand affectionately. "I appreciate having you to help protect me though. You are one of the few reasons why I don't want to leave yet."

"Yes, it is probably important to work on, though I have no idea how I will go about it." he said. "I'm not sure how one gets over an automatic mental response." Still, he returned the kiss, wrapping his arm around Melvin and holding him close.

"I won't let anyone, even myself take you away from me again, please don't ever leave me."

He exhaled in calm satisfaction. "Can you pick me up?" he said. "Slowly, so I can't feel the bottom. Like there's nothing under me."

Lawrence leaned against Melvin carefully, nodding, already he could feel his pulse kick up a notch, even in anticipation of what he was attempting.

"All right, now step out into the deeper water, do NOT let me go."

Lawrence held on and closed his eyes. It was odd to see the older man scared of anything, most of the time it wasn't something he was capable of, and even now it wasn't an emotional fear, simply a kneejerk response as his body anticipated death and sought to fight back against it.

But he kept himself in check, resisting both the desire to summon his claws and to panic and thrash.

He held on instead, his breathing quick, too tense to speak.

"Yes." Lawrence exhaled, his voice a near whisper, still completely tense. "No further. Stay here."

He tried to relax and to convince himself that it was safe, that Melvin's feet were on the ground, but it was difficult. "How do normal people cope with feeling like this all of the time?"