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 Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 12:31 pm
"No," Rodney said sadly, "it...wouldn't be purifying. And that's part of it, giving you time to...reflect apart from temptations. And...whether or not we see each other again, I...hope you're able to go on to somewhere better."
He listened to Lawrence's worries.
"It's not a chore. Was there something you'd like? I've...left the overlook empty for so long and I thought, if it was alright with you, that's where I'd put yours. It's where I spend the most time. I know it wouldn't be you..."
It'd never be him again.
"This isn't a task I wanted."
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 1:44 pm
"Temptations." he said. "You make it sound so sinful. My whole life has been nothing but carnal temptation. But here in this light and strange place with nature all around it is difficult for me to imagine anything as carnal. Here there is nothing impure." He exhaled in an audible sigh. "Perhaps it is simply the knowledge of what lies ahead, some accelerated desire to experience love or some approximation close to it."
Like everything else it was realistically too late for that. And it made sense, that Rodney would keep his distance, he was dangerous ultimately, given half a chance he'd done a lot worse to people. He didn't intend to to the other man but it wasn't like he knew that.
"It certainly isn't a task I chose to impose on you." he said with a shrug of his shoulders. "I just was where I was at the time, wrong place and wrong time.
"I don't have anything I'd like that is specific, something divine or angelic." He was silent for a few long moments, that odd ache gripping his chest. "Something homey."
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 2:39 pm
"Yes," Rodney said, "I can do that. To be righteous...is not always kind. And...I know. That you wouldn't have asked it of me."
Still, in another way, it felt...right. Rather than...
"But, still, if it's...going to be this way. I...I'll do it. Rather than someone else, or...a stranger. And...after your body can rest. And your soul...I hope it's enough time to resolve that too."
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 2:42 pm
"I suppose we won't know any of it till after. You won't get your answer on if it would ever be enough." He didn't want to bring up that he had no idea where or how to begin on anything. He could do a surgery on an animal, he could play a wonderful song on a piano but how could he do anything with something as intangible as a soul?
In the end he figured that much like everything else, he would put it off and put it off until it was much too late.
"I'd sooner it was you than someone to whom I'm simply a trophy."
He sighed. "It is just going to be an interesting time."
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 3:21 pm
Rodney stayed with him through most of the day, as he'd promised, and on into the evening asked about coming down to clean.
"It's different," he said, "I won't come down if you don't want me to. I could...just give you the things, to clean up. Usually there's a sedative, but it's...it's better if your mind's clear. Is it alright? If I come down."
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 3:26 pm
Lawrence through the day had taken to exploring his surroundings, not out of a desire to escape but simple curiosity. He had talked a great deal throughout, when Rodney proposed coming down, he seemed a little brighter. "No, please do. Do whatever you normally do. If you want me to take a sedative I will, but I won't hurt you, you are stronger than me anyway, even if I did want to."
He shook his head. "I just want you to come down here."
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 3:39 pm
"There's a chain on the far wall, behind the plant," Rodney said, "it goes around your neck. The inside's padded. It's only for while I'm down. I'll give you the key after I'm gone. I can't stay here...all day, like today, I have to work in the studio, but I'll still be by. Will you fasten it?"
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 3:44 pm
"Yes." he said, already making his way over to investigate the restraint. He bent to pick it up, holding it to his thin throat and fastening it to test it, realising as he did so that it really was designed in a way which mean he couldn't undo it without the key. He gave it a concerned tug, there was a clink but it didn't give at all.
"Erm. I suppose it is on now." he said.
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 4:01 pm
"Yes, alright," Rodney said. A rope ladder unrolled from above, and Rodney came down with a basket that he set on the floor.
He looked Lawrence over, and the rest of the room, then went to Lawrence first, putting down a towel on the stone and wringing out a washcloth in hot water.
"Here," he said gently, "feet first."
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 4:08 pm
There was something inherently curious about Lawrence, even when all the other emotions or at least imitations of emotions were pulled back it remained. He didn't resist Rodney, simply obliged him and he could have asked anything, it wouldn't matter. Right now nothing mattered.
It felt fitting to be chained like an animal when he was really capable of nothing else than to relentlessly kill like a fox in a henhouse. He was just glad to have the other man close by and something in him yearned for contact though he didn't give it voice. "Do whatever you need to do." he said.
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 4:20 pm
"Just washing up," Rodney said, handing Lawrence a hot cloth as well and putting out a tall bottle of perfumed oil on the stone. "I'll do the room too. It doesn't hurt anything, keeping your room clean while you're staying. Still, sometimes it's about control, like...it's getting back at me. Not washing. It's...for you, not for me."
He cleaned the dust off Lawrence's feet and ankles, and dried them before the air could make them too cool.
"You...tell me if you need more blankets too, tonight. I'll sleep up top while you're here."
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 4:29 pm
He just nodded, closing his eyes while Rodney cleaned his feet, fixated on the contact.
"It's all very biblical of you. Washing feet." he said. "And er. Certainly, though it probably doesn't matter if I catch a cold at this juncture. I appreciate it though regardless."
Of course Rodney would sleep up above, that was how things were meant to happen. He eyed the other man.
"I'm not used to temptations I can't have."
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 4:38 pm
"Here. Your shirt. Do you mean kissing, or killing?" Rodney asked. The shirt was buttoned, and white.
"Maybe things do get easier, after a while. Awful, at first, but...when they're gone it's like they're...safe. Or...maybe being judged. That...that the rest is deserved, either way. And out of my hands. All that's left is caring for the body. But it's...different, with...whoever it is."
With some consideration he said,
"We've both killed our families."
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 4:42 pm
"Kissing." he said, not taking his eyes off him. "Killing is easy, easier than I ever thought it would be. For me after there's nothing good. It's all just trying to cover up so I can do it again some other time."
He hung his head finally at the comment about families.
"Yes." he said, as if the statement had been some pronounced verdict, going from keen to help Rodney out to temporarily limp and useless. "For no reason at all other than I couldn't have them."
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Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2016 2:00 am
"You hadn't lost them before, not really. But you did lose them then."
Rodney helped Lawrence unbutton his shirt, then got a fresh towel and washed Lawrence's hands.
"God said...it's not good for man to be alone. But after this, I will be." Rodney seemed to remember himself. "I'm sorry it's been so... it's about you, not about me."
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