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 Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:01 am
Dakota said he was calling the infirmary but Rep knew it was too late for that. Weapon tablets meant one thing and one thing only, the guy was dead. Except this time he couldn't just tell everyone to run, they couldn't just run and stonewall the police with silence. Not like he'd done back home. Back then it had been an accident, a lesson that went too far. This hadn't been an accident, not really. Sure, he hadn't meant to kill Shy, because doing so was dangerous for his own well-being, but he'd allowed himself to be corralled by the situation into a corner, to the point of no return. And now there'd be hell to pay.
Rep leaned over, off his knees, to simply sit on the ground. He didn't trust himself to stand, he didn't trust himself to do anything but stay exactly where he was, twisted up tight in cords of anxiety. Sunny's words sounded far off and distant, he didn't know the significance of the tablet being whole, what did it even ******** matter? He was dead and that was all there was to it, dead and so was he, he'd just been afforded an extended stay, time to watch everything ******** unravel.
Hearing it be turned on Harrison and Dakota was painful. He wanted to say something, to snarl that it hadn't been their fault, they'd tried to stop him. They'd absolutely tried to stop him. Even Harrison. Even Harrison who he had had faith in to stick by him, to trust his judgement. Even if his judgement was shitty a lot of the time, he had trusted Harrison to stick by it. But he'd lost him, right in the midst of combat he'd lost him and lost track of what was happening. He'd been afraid of himself and just desperately wanted to end the fight one way or another, and being moons, they hadn't let him. It made sense right?
If it made sense why did it make him feel so bitter?
They'd failed regardless, in trying to stop him they'd given him a wall to run into and given him room to lose track of his own strength and to get to the point where that awful, broken fear which left him feeling like a hollowed out husk could step in. And Shiloh hadn't backed down at all, he hadn't bowed in the face of Rep's attempts to make him.
And the worst part of it was that it hadn't felt personal. Normally he got up in people's faces, tried to climb into their heads. But he couldn't with Dakota there, the light hearted and flippant man would just have laughed at him and waved him off. Trivialised him and his efforts to get traction and intimidate. They had stopped him physically and mentally, the result had been overcompensation on a fatal scale.
But reason didn't help him now, not as the adrenaline drained away like water swirling down a drain and left him with nothing but shaking hands and a cooling sweat from the battle.
Harrison spoke up and he closed his eyes, wishing he could just slither away and not have to hear it. He didn't want to hear Harrison try to justify what he'd done, how he'd condemned himself after promising the other man he'd change. He'd heard him in the heat of battle, he'd tried to reach him and stop him, he'd tried to save him and instead of listening to him, he'd let Tracey lead.
He wanted to break down, to completely lose it, but he didn't dare let himself any longer, letting go of control was why all of this always happened. Instead he receded, cold and dark and bitter, hating everything about himself and the way he seemed permanently hard wired to repeat mistakes.
"The heal is gone." he said, because now he knew. He couldn't fix anything, only destroy everything - including himself - what was the point of having a heal at all?
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:16 am
Edith gave the two a flat look and then pulled out her phone, hitting a single key before snapping out tersely, "Another spar got out of hand, your boy needs to be held. Got my own to sort out as well, so I'll leave his disciplinary actions to you two." Ending the call she gave the two of them another look that conveyed a strong measure of Son, I am Disappoint."Well, I'm glad you two have learned the very important lesson where you don't stop defending until the opponent stops attacking." She sighed and rolled her eyes, "Walk with me you two, someone will be along for that," she gestured toward Rep, "...in a few." Turning away, Edith began striding toward the beach. She either trusted Rep not to run off, or didn't believe he would able to evade those coming for him if he tried. "So," she continued, "I don't think you boys are incompetent. But I do think you may have lost your way a bit and stopped paying attention. You see someone swinging a weapon, and it's your friend, someone you've worked with for awhile. Years even. And maybe you trust them enough to not pay attention to where they're swinging that weapon. Nor the how or why of it. And maybe there was a time, you could take such for granted." There was a tightening of Edith's jaw and quickening of her pace, "Not anymore." They soon reached the jungle by an unfamiliar path. "I need to know you two are capable of protecting people, even from other hunters. Will you protect a stranger from one of your own friends?"
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:22 am
Not long after Edith left, footsteps sounded in the dirt behind Rep.
"Get up."
Simon's voice held no real emotion, nor did his expression.
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 6:05 am
Something will be along for that.
Harrison felt cold.
As Edith turned, Harrison knelt next to Rep. Accusations, trying to understand, working s**t out, none of that mattered now either. The bonds, the things tying him to Rep, hadn't been weakened anyway.
He took Rep's hand, and pulled Rep close, and rested his head on Rep's shoulder.
"My life was always yours, if you asked, even if it was for a stupid ******** reason," he said, and his voice was very quiet. He lowered it further, until it was just his lips moving, the motions like braille in Rep's neck. "They'll pay. I'll find you again."
Not now. Because maybe he had work, and he'd have to do it alone. The moment Rep was struck dead, anyone who thought he wasn't just as dead, that he had mercy or pity or something left over inside besides a pair of weighed scales would be making a mistake.
He held Rep because it would probably be the last time here.
But not the last time.
He said goodbye (for a while, just for a while) with a kiss against Rep's lips. He tried to make it warm, but maybe all that came through was fury.
He stood, and followed Edith.
She talked, and he answered.
"I thought I could. It's like you said. Trust is a mistake." Just yourself.
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 6:26 am
That. Demoted from human. It was what he'd always wanted wasn't it?
And as Edith went on, didn't move. Because he couldn't. Leaden helplessness pinned him to the ground.
But when he was pulled close to Harrison, there was a moment when he could forget what he'd just done, that he'd just ruined everything. For just a moment he was light again, all that mattered was that Harrison was there, still there despite the confusion, despite the doubts. It was the sanctuary he didn't have anywhere else. And the words hurt, he hadn't meant to throw Harrison's life on the table like a bargaining chip alongside his own, he hadn't meant to take away the ability to have even a single say from him regarding his own survival. He was hopeless and useless, but he was grateful for even the small moments, because for him it was the moments that endured.
The chill crept back in as rep realised here was something final in the way he promised to find him again, as if it was the end, writing him off like it would be the last time they'd meet before a long and arduous journey back.
But he pushed doubts aside. It was only with the kiss that he realised something wasn't right, something he couldn't place and that he was too distressed to examine before it was over. He'd done something wrong, something more wrong than just ******** up this fight and t he'd maybe never get to know what it was. His hands clenched in Harrison's shirt as he moved away, but he relinquished it as if scalded when he realised he was doing it, he'd already asked too much of him.
Don't leave me. He tried to say something, to respond, to apologise, to plead, but he could no more move the words than time itself.
His greatest fear was being alone. Dying alone was too much for him to bear, there was some cruel narrative if it ended that way, as if he'd never really moved an inch from when he was born, alone then, alone now.
And Harrison left. And it broke his heart to see him go, because all he wanted was that safety, that selfish sanctuary where he could face death without being that terrified child he was without the guys there beside him. But in the end, the only company he got to keep as he stood deferentially, blank and distant before Simon, Tracey a mask of silence, was the company of someone he'd never liked in the first place - himself. And the only reason he didn't cry, didn't flinch or cower, was because if it was the end of that man - unlike Harrison - he could stand to see him go.
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:52 am
Dakota didn't notice the change in situation at first, the way Rep was referred to that instead of him, the way Harrison looked hell hath no fury. He was terrified for his own sake because yet again, he had chosen friends over the job and it earned him some sort of punishment. He had down his job right the first time, defending Ceres and Bix from the hunters that did them harm.
This time he had down wrong by believing in Harrison, s**t for even believing in Rep. He should've thought, should've assumed that whether Harrison was there or not, Rep would've done the same damage.
He would never get in his head that to Rep, Dakota probably wasn't a friend. He was that guy who didn't take Rep seriously, the guy that was stronger then Rep (at least so far), the guy who always got on Rep's nerves. That wasn't friendship. It was a one sided rivalary.
Instead of spitting spitefully at Rep, blaming him for not seeing Candace now that Edith was sending them on their punishment, he went over to the redhead and knelt down. Looking straight in his eyes and oddly, giving him the usual flippant smile. "Be seeing you again Bro."
And got up to follow Harrison and Edith.
To her question, he looked up at the Jungle, wondering when defending someone became a question of morals. His friends or a Stranger...Would or could he?
he crossed his arms because his real thoughts earned no voice. They weren't what Edith wanted to hear.
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 12:58 pm
"Trust isn't a mistake, Harrison," Edith continue, her voice gaining a tired heaviness. "It's just not a good enough excuse to stop paying attention and doing the job, because when you do..." They came upon a small clearing, the rocky face of a cliff tower above. Against the stone was a large wooden X with a dark circle painted around it. Closer observation would reveal it to be dried blood, days old, likely from the dead staring sightlessly forward from her place on the cross. Edith turned to them, "It's not our job to figure out who did it. It is our job to keep an eye out and block the killing blow if need be. Start paying attention to your fellow hunters, even the ones you think you're sure of. Even if they aren't one of the killers, they could just as easily be an intended victim." She sighed and ran a hand along her scalp. "Now, either of you got any recommendations on what I should do with you?"
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 1:11 pm
Simon wordlessly led Rep to the lab building at a swift, efficient pace. As they approached a door, it swung open, a large group of both lab techs and medics streaming out. Some were smiling, others were grim, but most of them gave the two men a wide berth. Most of them. A slight, bony Asian man may have intentionally run into Rep's side, elbow driving home in a quick, hidden movement. "******** knew it," Dwight hissed as he passed. Simon stared after the group for a moment, displeasure obvious. Turning back to Rep, he finally spoke, "I haven't told Allan." The assistant opened the door to the small pod room, Shiloh's face visible on one of the monitors. Dr H turned and smiled at Rep and Simon's frown grew. "In the fuss, nobody could give me a clear idea on what happened," the doctor tsked, "...so I'll need you to tell me the whole of it, William. Is it the usual?"
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 1:54 pm
Rep followed Simon to the labs on autopilot, grim and numb. His coat billowed behind him dramatically thanks to the pace, but whatever confidence and magnificence he typically tried to exude was gone, skulking submissive into the same dark Tracey lurked in. Alone. He'd forgotten how it felt, as if he'd fallen right back into step with the past, as if he was once again just a solitary nuisance on an island that really didn't need his s**t in the first place.
With Jordan and Harrison by his side, he'd have been apologetic and sorrowful, grasping at one chance, any chance to stay by their side. On his own he moved like a stranger through the world, not quite part of it. He eyed the techs and wondered how many would be claiming on bets tonight, a thought interrupted only by Dwight's hit and run. It smarted, but he hardly flinched.
He wasn't a him. He was an it. He was an out of control ******** monster. The slimy b*****d had known it all along and had said someone would get killed one day. Someone had. A sardonic voice in his head hoped that he'd spend his part of the bet he'd no doubt have won at the expense of Rep's humanity on something tasteful.
Rep was only dragged back close to the surface of concentration by Simon addressing him. Allan hadn't been told. He was glad. Whatever happened to him, he didn't want the Sun lead to worry or to feel in any way he could have prevented it. He had enough to be going on with. He nodded sombrely, and hastily took in what he could of the room.
Was Shiloh alive in there? Had they ******** brought him back? He hoped so.
H made him freeze in his tracks and give him a deer in the headlights stare. But there was still that edge of standoffishness, the defiance Clarice had given him the gall to hold up against the Life lead. He might not have anything to make demands with, his continued existence might have been a privilege, but he had his pride. "Depends what you mean by the usual sir. If you mean doing my job in an exemplary fashion on missions, then yes, there's that. If you mean Shiloh, then yes, I apparently killed him in a spar he incited on twitter, I'm not about to imply otherwise when you always have a pretty ******** clear idea what's going on. He didn't back down, he didn't let me know his shield was low. He paid the price of pride, just like I'm probably ******** going to."
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 2:15 pm
At first Harrison thought he was looking at an execution. He knew what happened to hunters who deserted, or worse. Publicly destroyed, along with their weapon.
And maybe it was. But from what Edith said about keeping an eye on their fellow hunters, not one by the organization.
"Those guys from the trial." Harrison said. Why was a Death question. He hesitated. "There were a lot of folks riling Rep up. He's been okay. With himself, since the summer. If it had been just one or two guys... I mean. His record and his triggers aren't exactly top secret."
There was a long pause.
"I'm not saying he was used. But you're saying- that crazyass group of guys is still around. And it could be anybody."
If they'd had a hand in it...
Harrison was quiet.
"You could dock our pay, or put us on low-level duties. Toilet-scrubbing, or whatever. But if there's s**t going down, in my opinion it'd be a waste of resources." He shifted, watching the body on the cliffside. "Where could you use us?"
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 2:25 pm
Eyebrows raised the doctor drawled, "You killed him because of a conversation over Twitter?" He gave a soft huff of laughter, "You're really quite fragile, aren't you?"
He hummed a bit as he turned to the keyboards, fingers swiftly dancing across the keys. Simon waited several moments before speaking up, "Sir, if we could-"
"Shut up," H replied pleasantly. "Your boss is a child incapable of handling his own division's problems due to sentiment." Simon flinched, his normally upright posture drawing in on itself, making the assistant appear suddenly smaller. "Well enough, but now it's cost me. So stay quiet and take this time to reflect on the embodiment of two years of failure on your part."
With the snap of a keystroke, the pod opposite Shiloh's opened. "Get in the pod, William."
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 2:47 pm
"It's no like respect is earned any other way on this island." Rep said coldly. He was in a dark and nihilistic frame of mind, positively certain he was heading towards death. "In the real world, you call a guy a ******** queer, you make sure you can cash the cheques your mouth writes. I thought you said Life division was about being ******** smart, that wasn't ******** smart. He could have said it to Cael. He could have said it to anyone."
Seeing Simon snapped at by the Life lead also made his hackles raise. "That sentiment, sir." and he made sure the sir was as sharp edged as he could make it, his blue eyes blazing at the slight against one of the people in the world he considered truly good, truly admirable. "Is not, and will never be a ******** weakness." He narrowed his eyes. "We can't all be ******** sociopaths." He only hoped that was the right ******** word for someone who didn't feel s**t.
He shot a glance to the pod and then back to H, cold terror seizing him like sharp talons, a mental image flashing through his thoughts of Harrison and Jordan, stuck waiting by a pod that would never open, forced to keep working for the organisation by the hope someday it might. They could use him as leverage without him ever being a problem ever again.
His heart kicked up a notch and he set his mouth in a thin line. "What if I don't?"
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:06 pm
The doctor smiled and waited.
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:09 pm
Rep crossed his arms and gave H the bitchiest look he could muster.
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Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:18 pm
Dakota remained silent as they walked to the point. Like Harrison, he was preparing himself for a sort of physical punishment. He'd been cuffed before, and thrown into walls and titans.
The grave with its large O and X made his eyes narrowed but unlike Harrison, he didn't get the gist right away. It wasn't till Harrison mentioned the trial he paid a little more attention.
"I would prefer a good a** kicking, at least for my punishment." Dakota scrunched his nose up, "but honestly I don't know how to punish myself already more then I am." His hands were still caking with Shy's blood and he was berating himself forever for again, thinking or trusting that Harriosns opinion and request was more important to Rep. It wasn't like others had come to defend Shy like Dakota did or even offer...he should've known involving himself would end up like this.
"Dock me to Trainee again if you have too..." All that work, his specialization, his trainings wasted? "Because I honestly don't know what to do..."
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