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Rep leaned against Jordan with just an edge of neediness.

"You and Ace I am fine with. I love you both the same. I'm just. It's really complicated. A lot of being pulled in different directions. Because like. I dunno, I don't feel like I love Tracey the same way so if he is like, all over your weapon, it's different from me. I just want to hold him back."

"Maybe. And yeah its really weird to me, I like. I just don't deal with s**t well, the idea all the things that have happened were someone else's doing and whatever, really scared me. " he sighed "And when I'm scared I turn into a little b***h. I bet Ferros hates me after that ******** rant."

"Aye, that's what I'd hoped and should have like had faith in I guess. I wasn't even talking to Tracey really when I met you. And we clicked regardless."

Rep looked releived at the relayed comment from Ferros. "Good. I just. Have some pretty basic issues with monsters and s**t man. Maybe with time. I don't hate him though, he keeps you alive, he does a lot."

He exhaled shallowly at the touch. "I scared me too. I don't know how I back myself into a corner like that. I was like forcing myself into a situation where I'd be scared to touch you because of some weird fear of "losing"." He rested his cheek against him.

"I still don't know how I feel about letting them hang out in the golems. But if you think it will be all right, then I can trust that."

"Stubborn eh? I don't know anyone else like that." he said with a lazy smirk, relaxing more now that he was able to foist the final decision off onto Jordan, needing the reassurance.



"Aye. Then. I'll let them."

He still couldn't shake the one comment that had really hit home out of their whole discussion though, it was something he hadn't really considered ever. "Did you..Do you really think like. Like the things I hate are the things I hate about me?" If it was the case, he thought, it painted a very damning picture of how he saw himself.

Part of Rep had been hoping that Jordan would say no, he'd just said it in anger, that it wasn't what he felt, so the flicker of hurt as he confirmed he had meant it was impossible to hide.

He had a point though. Some of the things he hated in the creatures they fought was ultimately their humanity. He resented his own humanity in the same way as a weakness. But it did make him worry how far it went. What about the overarching things he hated, women was obvious, he loathed any femininity in himself so it made sense that extended. Was it jealousy at others for having those things he denied himself? He didn't want to dwell on it, it felt like a thread that might unravel too much.

"I just.That must mean I hate like. A whole ******** lot about myself. Because there is a lot of s**t I hate."

"I guess. I mean I don't think my standards are too high. I just want to be a perfectly manly killing machine who is also a sex god. That's not too unattainable for me, all considered." it was hard to tell if he was kidding or not. "If other people can do it, I can."

"Aye. I've learned the hard way that all aspects of that ideal take a lot of practice to perfect. Some practice though, is more enjoyable than others~" he couldn't help but grin.

Rep leaned forward to plant a kiss on just the edge of Jordan's lips. "I cause you so much ******** trouble when you really don't need this kind of stress. I have no ******** idea how you put up with me." He slunk his arms around him lovingly. "All I can do I guess is counterbalance the stress with other not so stressful things."