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A Touch of Swordplay

Straight and True

Sweat trickled down the side of Crispin's face. His head ached, there were welts along his left forearm, and his right fingers were red and stinging.

And, despite all this, he was happy.

Draw once more, Crispin - see, you'll have it soon. Ah, when I was at my height the arrows flew like shooting stars, and carried the sky's fire on their heads! Shaiming exulted.

Crispin had woken up that morning to find Toki bouncing eagerly around the front room, the Aoide beaming at him. "Master Crispin, Lord Shaiming! I've found what you wanted me to find, Lord Shaiming!"

"Have you? Good!" Shaiming's voice had been rich with approval, and Crispin felt the surge of pleasure as the dragon regarded the long bundles in the Aoide's arms - one flat, one rounded.

Crispin had moved forward and taken the bundles, then unwrapped the linen at Shaiming's enthusiastic urging, only to find a rugged old bow and a quiver with training arrows. Rolled up with the bow was a practice target marking to be hung on a wall or haybale, faded and pockmarked from long use.

"They are old, my Lord, but they will serve for training?" Toki had asked, anxious for approval as always.

"They will serve admirably." Shaiming's answer, deep with satisfaction, had made the Aoide shiver with joy.

This bow, Shaiming had explained as Crispin fiddled with his new 'toys' and Toki hung the target cloth on his old stuffed ragbag, is what they call a 'shortbow' or 'flatbow'. Less stately than the noble longbows, but when one is a god, one does not need to rely on physical powers only for a long range. And the smaller bows are much easier to carry around, really.

And with that, they had begun work.

After the first five times of Crispin snapping the bowstring into his own forearm, prompting swearing and throwing of the bow across the room, Shaiming had ordered a wrapping placed around the injured area. Now the bowstring only scraped against cloth, sometimes, but underneath the weals still stung. Crispin's fingers were rubbed red, moving towards raw, from drawing the bow over and over, and his shoulders ached powerfully.

But, as he drew again and watched the arrow sing into the target (not the center, but he at least hit it - the wall was pocked with holes that would make Toki wail and tear his clothes) and there was a surge of delight from his draconic teacher, Crispin wouldn't have traded any welt or pain for all the world.

Well done, Shaiming proclaimed. Perhaps we should teach this to Morgan as well.

"Not until I suck less!" Crispin panted, grinning and brushing his hair back from his sweaty forehead. "Otherwise I'll look like a fool."

She would not cease to love you, for all that, the dragon said, amused.

"I know, but - I'd feel better about it, okay?" Crispin shook his head with a smile, then picked up another arrow and nocked it. His hands shook a bit from exhaustion as he drew the bowstring taut. For a moment, the arrow's shaft clattered dangerously against the wood of the bow.

You'll lose it! Loose! Shaiming ordered, and Crispin released the bowstring with the twang that had become deeply familiar. The arrow flew across the room and embedded itself an inch into the wall.

"... Toki will hate me," he groaned.

He will not. He will bemoan the damage for a while, possibly cry a bit and tear at his garments, and then be happy as a clam as he seeks out craftsmen and paints to fix it. You know he's never so pleased as when he has a job to do, because approval comes at the end.

Crispin shook his head. "It's a weird way to be."

He was not always so, but even still I would not lose his loyalty, eccentric though it may have become, for all the treasures in the world.

"Absolutely not," Crispin said, firmly, and picked up another arrow. Notch, draw, aim, loose-

The arrow sang straight and true into the middle of the target.

"Hey! Heeeey! Did you see that?! Did you see it, Shaiming!" Crispin beamed and put the bow down, scurrying over to the target to examine his prize.

I told you the odds would fall in your favor, sooner or later.

Crispin made a face. "Odds, nothing. That was raw skill!"

Indeed. You will be casting the stars out along their heavenly paths any day now. The dragon's tone was sly and sardonic.

"Yeah, well - shut up."

Bring Me Home - II

-And Crispin screamed. But the scales, terrifying as they may have seemed to him at any other time, were not the reason, even as they landed on him like a thousand moths, tickling every inch of his skin.

But that seemed like nothing compared to the sudden flood in his mind - a rush of facts, sensation, skill, emotion, and knowledge... a sure and terrifying knowledge of just how huge the universe was, of how many stars there were in the sky, of significance and insignificance, of vast spaces incomprehensible to mortals. It was insane, it was uncontrollable, and to Crispin's human mind, it was terrifying and beyond comprehension in a way he could express in no other way but a faceless scream. The scales crawled in and coated his tongue.

And then Shaiming was behind him, the dragon's warm breath tickling in his ears, past the scales, radiating calm. "Shh, softly, beloved - listen to me. This is knowledge you will need; it is part of my essence... listen, shh. Listen." The dragon's voice was almost hypnotic, and Crispin latched onto it, the only port in a wild storm, as the knowledge poured wildly past him. He felt as though his mind were going to explode.

And then, suddenly, there was a release - as if what he had been so uselessly struggling to contain the flood in had simply failed, and burst... but there was no end of consciousness, no pain, no death. Merely a slow, overflowing understanding, a comprehension of the incomprehensible, and the fear melted away as he regarded the precise number of meteors in the skies with impunity.

Shaiming chuckled. "Good, there. That understanding is the first part of divinity, that ability - good, good. Oh, Crispin."

The dragon's voice was changing, and Crispin felt dizzy - but this time, it wasn't from the strange outpouring of knowledge. Slowly, slowly, new sensations swelled up within him. Shaiming radiated bravery, and courage, and without thinking he filed those away, making them part of him. There were emotions, too, and a flowing river of memories that Crispin was somehow able to encompass as the dragon guided them home. "Oh, Crispin; oh, my beloved," he kept whispering, in a tone of deep joy and gratitude.

Crispin had no idea how much time had passed; there was no meaning to the word on the concept, not here, not now. Only Shaiming, and the sharing, and the closeness. He ceased to be aware of the scales covering him; there was only the dragon. Crispin drifted in a reverie as Shaiming moved in and out of their shared consciousness, moving things about to his satisfaction.

And then, suddenly, Shaiming was floating before him again - and somehow, his scales were back on him, though Crispin could feel them still coating his own skin. Now there was no mistake - the dragon was unmistakably weeping openly.

"It is done - very nearly done. Only my Self remains, and the full power of my divinity. This is my choice, Crispin - no, no." Shaiming smiled. "Very shortly you will be a new creature - still, personality-wise, mostly Crispin, but you will be Tien Lung. I... I had thought of a name," the dragon said, suddenly shy.

"Wh... what?" Crispin managed to get the words out thickly, past the scales.

"Though we are Dragon, I thought the name 'Tian Yue' to be fitting - it means 'Celestial Phoenix'. I mean the word in the sense of rebirth. Tien Lung is here reborn - the office is yours... the power... I am so tired... and oh, how I love you. My Crispin. No. My Tian Yue...

The dragon smiled once more, and then dissolved, bursting into stardust that flowed over the scales - for a moment the world was dazzling, bright, dizzying, and there was nothing but love, and a deep, deep gratitude...



... And then...

Dragon's Awakening

Light.

He blinked muzzily against the glow of one of the bedside lamps, and fumbled for his glasses to bring the blurred world into focus, rubbing at his eyes and yawning before putting them on. "G'morning," he mumbled, then flinched slightly as the answer he'd been expecting did not come, but memories did.

That's right. Shaiming, he - and I... Tian Yue, yes. The young Dragon King sighed and inched his way up to a sitting position, leaning against the pillows. He had to squirm as his tail made itself known by twitching about, and it took him a few moments to figure out which muscles connected to the blasted thing so it would be still.

Now that it was done, that he was sitting here - not Crispin any more, not really, with no Shaiming whispering advice and reassurance - he wasn't sure. There was a twisting feeling in the pit of his stomach. Can I really do this?

It was a silly thought, left over from the human side of him, but it gnawed at him. He'd never heard of any of the reborn deities doing what Shaiming had done. Was it even allowed? Surely the old dragon had thought of that - but what if, what if, what if?

"Ah, you're awake - but you look confused, my lord," Toki said, peeking in through the door.

"I am," Tian Yue admitted, gesturing with one finger - claw? - for the Aoide to enter. "Did Shaiming do the right thing...?"

"Do you not trust him?" Toki's brown furrowed, and he tilted his head to one side. One ear flopped down over his forehead.

"I - yes, of course..."

"Then yes, he did - my lord would not have taken anything lightly nor foolishly. If he believed - then it was right." The Aoide nodded firmly.

"Hrm. I... I guess so." Tian Yue sighed, then grimaced as he moved again. "I ache."

"I imagine it is no easy thing. A bath should do well for you, my lord." Toki came up to the bed and offered a hand; after a pause, Tian Yue reached up and took it, letting the Aoide help him up and lead him to the bathroom.

A warm bath had already been drawn, and Tian Yue shucked off the last bits of what he'd been wearing when the morph happened. They were uncomfortable and binding, he realized, popped a bit at the seams and ill-fitting - obviously the tail was not the only physical change his body had undergone. He squinted at the uneven, rippling reflection in the bath water, but it was unclear.

"Do you need help in, my lord?" Toki offered.

"No... no. But I'll need some new clothes, okay?" Tian Yue slid into the tub with a sigh of relief as the warm water began to relax him almost immediately, though he scowled as his tail lashed around as if possessed, splashing water here and there until he concentrated enough to remember how to move it.

As Toki scooped up his old clothes and disappeared, Tian Yue leaned back and closed his eyes, thinking as the steam drifted around him. What was it like, being a god? No - a better question was, what had it been like, being mortal?

Restrained. Limited. Small. But also - full of potential, eagerness, worship. Love. The seeds of growth that the gods must water. Yes, that was right. The human mind was like a small jar of water floating in an endless sea, unable to comprehend the enormity of what surrounded them - and desperately needing the protection of the glass to stay alive.

A protection I can grant them now, he realized, recalling their conversation with Kishara. But how did that power work?

The answer came swift and easily to mind, sweetly, like a beloved name returning to conscious thought after a long time of distraction, and he smiled slightly. Yes.

He let himself sink down a bit more into the water and concentrated, feeling the shield around it, willing it to come forth - it was within him always, like a second skin under the physical, and he coaxed it out.

Thus freed, he urged the sphere of power to expand outward, his own body as the center, testing the limits. Further, further, furth- It stopped abruptly, and though he gritted his teeth and tensed his whole body, he could not coerce it to go any further.

It went barely around the outside of the building.

Disappointed, he let the shield fold in on itself again, taking the power back into himself, though he opened his eyes to see its retraction. It appeared as a shimmering distortion in the air, faint iridescence. And he knew without thinking that Shaiming had overestimated that power - for now, anyway.

"Do not fret, my lord - it will increase," came Toki's voice from behind him, and Tian Yue jumped, sloshing water out of the tub. The Aoide chuckled. "I speak of that power you just used, my lord; how could I not feel it, as long as I have been faithful to Tien Lung?"

Tian Yue relaxed. "Geez, Toki - way to scare a guy. God. Dragon. Whatever."

"My apologies. But remember - it will increase. I have watched the gods from afar many times, and it takes power to join with the host regardless of how it is done, I think. You cannot expect to shield the world your first day."

The young dragon shook his head. "But Shaiming promised-"

"You will be able to fulfill that promise in time. More than fulfill it." The Aoide nodded. "Do you wish to explore more of your power?"

"Um... eventually, but not right now." He felt tired from the effort of testing the shield - not exhausted, but definitely not up to trying out other things at once. "More of my power - like how?"

"Well, I do not know which of Tien Lung's abilities will manifest when, but at the very least you should be able to shift into your dragon form." Toki beamed. "Now - I have found some clothing for you, and would you not wish to see your Morgan? Shaiming wrote a letter for her, and I delivered it and informed her when the change began-"

"Dragon fo-" Tian Yue was amazed one moment, then sheepish the next - of course, dragon form, how could he have forgotten something so integral to his nature? But Toki's next words derailed that train of thought. "Morgan? She knew? Oh, man, she must be dying of anxiety!" Tian Yue grabbed the soap and scrubbed himself off rapidly, then put his glasses on the side before dunking his head, bathing with a speed learned from college dorm showers. "She's going to be so..." Surprised? Happy? Or... He swallowed hard, suddenly. What would Morgan think about what had happened?

But it didn't matter - he had to go to her, let him know that he was okay, and - see for himself. He retrieved his glasses and scrambled out of the tub as soon as the last bit of soap was rinsed off, into the towel that Toki held out for him. He accepted the offered yukata without hesitation, lunged for his toothbrush - and stopped when he saw his reflection in the mirror.

He had changed. The reflection before him was broader in the shoulders, and a bit more well-built than even the training could have made him. More obviously, he was taller than he had been, by a good four inches. The tail hung down in a graceful curve, and smatters of scaling the color of Shaiming's patterned his lower calves. He touched the soft points on his ears with wonder.

Toki stood behind him, an odd smile on his face. "My lord?"

"I..." He stared a moment longer, then smiled himself and turned to the Aoide. "Thank you, Toki. For everything."

"It is my honor and pleasure to serve Tien Lung," Toki said softly, bowing low.

"Please inform Nebula of my... arrival," he said, grabbing the toothbrush at last and smearing toothpaste over the head. "I'm going to mffo mfm Mffmfm."

With that mumbled declaration, Tian Yue spit the toothpaste out into the sink and ran for the door, leaving Toki behind, bewildered. Too late the Aoide remembered - "Wait! Lord Tian Yue!"

But he was already gone.

"Bother," Toki sighed, but he knew better than to disturb his lord and lady. He'd just have to give Tian Yue his letter at another time.

Missives from the Past

After Morgan had left, Tian Yue remained nestled in bed - exhaustion had not yet overtaken him, but he was teetering on the edge, after the change, the flight, the... er, what they did after... and everything else. They had dined together, and now he was merely waiting... and thinking.

The young Dragon King blinked as Toki approached the bed, an envelope held out in one hand. He took it without thinking, and raised both eyebrows at the name written on it. Tian Yue.

"Who...?" He turned it over - it was sealed with a sigil in silver-flecked black wax, and when he saw it he nearly dropped the letter in his shock. He knew that sigil - "Shaiming!" With hands trembling, he tore it open, devouring the words within.



"Lucius," Tian Yue murmured as he read, then gasped as a sudden wave of emotion crashed down on him. Longing, loneliness - ridiculous, he had just been with Morgan! - and desire to see Universe once more... to reclaim him, to...

The letter fell from one hand and Tian Yue stared ahead, unseeing for a moment, trapped in sudden need that had nothing to do with mere physical desire, and everything to do with a kinship, friendship, love that had flowered over millennia. Compared to it, Morgan was-

Morgan is what? No - she is my love... but... Lucius... as.. well...? It took a moment to reconcile the thought, the mortal shreds protesting against such a strange dichotomy for a moment, before something shifted and he was able to accept it. Lucius and Morgan; both loved, both needed. One old, one new, one anciently familiar, one mortal held dear. Neither more than the other; one from each part of him, and that was fine. He had a dizzying feeling that perhaps this was how the gods of Love felt all the time, only for all the world at once...

He picked up the letter again from where it had fallen, and continued to read.



The thought of Morgan as a host - was in some way painful, yet in another a relief and a joy. Pain, for the changing of a woman deeply loved, but joy for the return of another of the Pantheon. Perhaps, if it happened, she could even attain what Tian Yue had...



A blotch appeared on the page near the dragon's neat signature, and it took Tian Yue a moment to realize that the source was a tear, and that the tears were coming from his own eyes. He quickly put the letter down again, not wanting to damage it, and let the tears flow freely. Oh, Shaiming... I miss you so much...

"My lord?"

Tian Yue looked up with a jerk at Toki; he hadn't even been aware of the Aoide's presence. There was a soft, knowing smile on his face. "What?"

"Lord Shaiming gave these letters to me, and told me to open and deliver them and prescribed times. The first was for myself, which I was bid to open upon the beginning of his morphing. The second was for Lady Morgan, which I was bid to deliver after reading my own - and the third for a name I did not recognize until I read my own letter... and yes, I wept too." The Aoide's smile turned sad, and Tian Yue felt a small surge of kinship with him; he, too, understood what it felt like. "The third was this one, of course. There are also letters for Lord Lucius, Lord Shenlei and Lord Harmodius." He swallowed after the last one.

"Lord Harmodius..." Tian Yue indeed understood the loyalty and the love, and the need. There was love for Morgan, and Lucius, but the adoration and abject desire for the Twin Crown overrode them all, as a tidal wave overrides the sea. "Yes. Tomorrow I will seek him out, when I am well-rested and ready." He shook his head, then folded the letter with reverence and handed it back to Toki. "Place this with honor and care in my hoard. I do not want to lose it."

"Understood." Toki took it as he would a holy relic. "Do you require anything else, my lord?"

"Sleep." Tian Yue shook his head. "Leave me, please - and tell Nebula as well." He still hadn't seen the other Aoide, but at the moment he didn't really care. After the emotional onslaught the letter had brought, he felt more exhausted, more than ready for bed.

Toki bowed. "Yes, my Lord. Rest well."

Tian Yue nestled down into the blankets as the Aoide left, then put his glasses on the nightstand and turned off the light. He took several deep breaths before closing his eyes, and despite his exhaustion, his head was so filled with thoughts that it took him some time before true sleep came.

Of Silence and Need

Tian Yue lay blank and cold in his bed, still in the dragon-shape - he felt that he couldn't bear to be in human form right now. Not now, after what his Lord had said. b*****d blood. Interloper. Presumptuous. He shifted and curled into a tighter ball, tail-fan covering his nose.

True, Zhijian's graciousness had salved some of the sting, but the cut went deep - Tian Yue may not have been Shaiming, but he was still Tien Lung, with all the loyalty and longing... and all the memories. Things that he had, but no-one else did. He was the intruder, the unknown factor in a group with deep ties.

Interloper.

Was this how it was always going to be? Hopeful faces awaiting Shaiming, and then a turning away, a coldness as they did not find him? And now he had to go speak with Lucius - another love echoing through him. But Lucius did not even know him! How presumptuous, this human thing in dragon's skin-

A shudder ran all up and down Tian Yue, making the bed rattle against the floor. A part of him knew that had it been Creation's welcome, it would not have gone so - but that hadn't happened, had it? Only Destruction, implacable.

"Toki," he rasped, his voice hoarse. He would not weep, would not - but the effort in not doing was intense.

The Aoide appeared immediately, looking downcast and withdrawn. Tian Yue hadn't even told him what had happened, but the dragon crashing down through the open skylight and then curling up, tight, with ash on his feet and a command to go and pick up his discarded clothing from the room below... it was obvious what must have transpired. "My lord?" Toki replied, softly.

Tian Yue swallowed. "Bring me my - Crispin's - journal. It should be in the hoard library..."

Toki bowed. "As you wish. One moment." Tian Yue waited, staring blankly at the wall before the Aoide returned, the small spiral-bound notebook in his hands. He remembered writing this in that short, sharp stretch of mortal life...

"May, I think. Sometime in May. Regarding meeting with Lucius." Tian Yue uncurled a bit, enough to peer at the book; Toki, accustomed to dealing with dragons, stood and held it towards him after finding the page.

"Can you read it well, my Lord?"

"Yes..." Tian Yue squinted over what he knew had been, at some point, his own writing. Was still, if Destruction's judgement was true, but it didn't feel right. But the scattered words on the page that Crispin had seen fit to record jogged his own memory - that moment strangely dual, twin memories. One sharp and awed; one sad with all perception dimmed and limited from within the jewel's prison.

'If we were friends, only he remembers it. Everything beyond my first waking to this life is lost to me...whispers in dreams and visions. Perhaps we can talk sometime, and he can help me remember...'


'I hope to meet you, Crispin, and your dragon king again sometime.'

And it had been nearly a year since that day - and Tian Yue was aware of the echoing pain that had caused, as Shaiming forced himself to tend to the matter of his host rather than that of his love, assessing and training up his heir instead of seeking his consort. And now it had been almost a year...

Lucius would be right to throw those months of silence in my face when I come to him. Aloud, he said, "Thank you, Toki - leave me now, please."

Toki looked strained, as if there was something he wanted to say, but in the end the Aoide merely bowed again and withdrew back to the hoard with the notebook in hand.

Tian Yue curled tight once more, but not quite as desperate - the hard core of ice and stone that had fallen into his heart when Destruction withdrew His hand was still there, but it no longer chilled his entire being. He had to prove himself - if he failed, Destruction would not get a chance to kill him. He would do it himself... so that his false and foul blood not taint the Twin Crown's sight again.

No! It will not come to that! Shaiming trusted me! I will not fail! A faint growl escaped him, and the bed rattled lightly again.

So. Lucius must be faced - but how? No, he could not run off expecting open arms and welcoming. There was this in his favor: the lack of recognition that Shaiming had so mourned. In the beginning, at least, there would be no hope of Shaiming, and no turning away from that lack - perhaps Lucius, at least, would be able to see that Shaiming did live on in Tian Yue, though changed even as mortal Crispin had been changed. Melded into one.

The Gallery of Celestia. Shaiming's last letter had spoken of that, and now Tian Yue let his thoughts linger on the words. They did stir up memories, surrounded by stars - memories that brought a smile unbidden to his draconic face.

And, yes, if nothing else - Lucius had wished for memories, and to speak with them, hadn't he? Perhaps the intervening time would not be so small a thing if he came bearing rich recall. No, he would not come immediately with the love that burned deep in his heart. Friendship, first, but the promise of more - he would woo Lucius again if that was what it took. The memories of the first time doing so were dim and faint, so old were they, but there was an ancient sweetness around them.

And Morgan? Another cold stone. He would have to tell her about Lucius, about his feelings - but he at least had some hope that she would understand it did not lessen his love for her at all. She was not Destruction.

Yes... the plan was forming in his mind. He would go to this Gallery, and seek out memory and past for himself and Lucius both - then return, and present to Universe what he had found. And present his friendship, his warmth and willingness... perhaps, if the time was right and Lucius was receptive, his love. But that last would come only slowly, if at all; it might be that once presented with memory, Lucius would react to the lack of Shaiming with only scorn and anger towards the one who had replaced him.

The thought made Tian Yue shudder again, but this time he mastered the shiver of fear. No. I am Tien Lung, and I will do what Tien Lung said he would do - I will prove myself! I chose this. I will weather the storm-


... oh, Shaiming...

Finally, one traitorous tear slid down the side of his muzzle.

Goodbye, Goodbye

Whirl Spin Twirl

Gianfar had gone, Toki had not yet returned, Morgan was likely asleep, and Nebula was still nowhere to be found. Tian Yue paced awkwardly through his quarters, wanting to do something but with nothing to actually do. Is this how Toki feels nearly all the time? What a horrible thought.

At least Morgan had... well, probably not approved, but she hadn't left him as he had been so afraid. If there had been a feel of desperation to their lovemaking, he was trying firmly to ignore it.

Thus far, being Tien Lung had brought only complications. A new old lover to trouble his beloved. A new old master rejection, interloper. A shattered past to slice and confuse his future... and all this time spent barely in control, treading water and getting nowhere, but managing to keep his head up. He was exhausted. And now he was alone and he had to think about it again... and drown a little more. The fact that Zhijian had not rejected him and that Gianfar had come to him with joy felt distant and strange now, as if they had happened to someone else.

Who am I? I'm so tired of this... so tired... Tian Yue walked over to the 'throne', hesitated, and moved to the couch instead, flopping down on it and pulling a pillow to his chest. But there was something underneath it, something long and purple - the plush dragon he no, Crispin had bought, amused at its resemblance to Shaiming.

He tossed the pillow onto the floor and held the dragon close, curling up around it - well aware that the motion was childish, but not really caring.

I need to find something - some kind of answers. Some kind of balance. Something. Anything. Or... Or Destruction would in his turn destroy him. If he didn't break on his own first.

Were you... wrong? Shaiming?

Were you?