Welcome to Gaia! ::

Jacob listened to the shrew... and was actually interested in what he had to say despite the long winded nature of the lecture and the shrew's... aggressiveness in giving it... Jacob was not particularly religious, but he did enjoy the idea of it and learning new things. Though many people had acknowledged he was new, they still spoke to him as if knowing what "The Great Tree" was was a given. The lecture was actually quite informative, though Jacob felt it was doubtful that everyone followed ALL of these ideals... Its length was actually contributed to by Jacob occasionally asking questions or for clarification when he didn't know a word. However, the night was stretching on and Jacob's eyes were beginning to droop, and his nerves were beginning to become even more frayed than usual in his tiredness. He wanted the shrew to leave so he could go to bed... but didn't want to outright kick him out.

"I-I belheeve eet iz dinnar time ja?" Jacob said forcing a smile. He expected the shrew to nod politely and leave, instead he said.

"Mind if I join yah? Whatcha having?"

Jacob froze, not knowing what to do. If he said yes then he would have to eat... that meant eating meat... which meant eating people. Jacobs stomach turned. He had gone his whole life not knowing that he was eating creatures that could speak and feel and love just like him. Since coming to Woodhaven he had hardly eaten anything at all except a few berries that had passed right through him. Jacob swallowed, he didn't want to be caught being impolite or caught in a lie.

"I uh, habe not choosen vhat I vas going to eat... Du mayst eat here though..."

"Don't mind if I do! Packed a dinner for myself anyways!" the shrew showed his crooked smile and then pulled a small slice of cheese out of his cloak. Jacob swallowed and trembled watching the shrew noisily eat, but remaining silent himself.

You GTFO

The window looks like a good choice, especially since this rotting caracas of a crazy a** badger just laid you low with one swipe of a grimy paw before you could even bat a pretty eye (handsome eye?). So you painfully grab the window, head pounding, and you wrench your body through the glassless space.... you're falling. What? Weren't we on level ground a moment before? You roll down a short hill, almost landing in what looks like a giant hole in the ground, but you miss it by inches and roll into the mud with a squelch. You give a yelp as your foot strikes a rock... when you inspect it you discover that it is Scraped/cut/sprained/broken (choose one, broken feet will be healed after this event, go for whatever you want) and you aren't sure if you're going to get out of this situation alive. Then the mud starts to part and you start to sink...

Do you::

1. Call for help, even if it's only the badger at least you won't suffocate to death...
2. Struggle struggle struggle. We don't have books in the forest on how to deal with quicksand.

Fight that Canker Blossom, and throw it all in her face

So you decide to be a fighter at heart and go for the gold... at least, the slightly brown and red... ew... You grab a weapon from the room and wait in a patient moment of terror until the badger comes in. You get two good swipes at her, but she's like a zombie version of Fezzik the giant, and fighting her does about as good as bashing your head against a brick wall. She holds you tightly by the scruff of your neck, and you reel out of control at the end of her paw, feet hanging at least a head's width off the floor. "Yis goana be a tough beast, makes a tough steak yis does." With a sigh she takes you over to the window and shakes her head at you. "Kint eatem toughs, nots enough teef." She grins at you to show you all her teeth... all? More like both of them. Her breath... it's bad... like _______. "Yis goana wait in the hole." And with that she chucks you out the window and you land in a giant hole in the ground. The whole thing seems to be made of mud, and try as you might, there's no way you're going to be able to climb out of this... and every step gets you more and more covered in mud... "Jis sit an wait. When you stops yelling and being all tough, Iz a let you out to eat yis."

Do you::

1. Call for help until some passing beast may hear you?
2. Put the lotions on your skin like a good little pit beast.

BUG CIRCUS!!!!

Ahh, Bug circus. You've wanted one all your life and now's your chance! You'll call him Clancy (Or something else, your choice) and he'll be your one and only, and the two of you will peddle your services on the path corners. Perhaps he can even learn to play the accordion? Oh the plans are endless, and you can't help it! You're excited! You start drawing up posters for the big event... oh.. you could call it the 'Big Tent Event!' if only you knew where to get enough material to make a big tent. The main attraction will be CLANCY (or your choice) the ___________ riding/roping/playing/yougetmydrift BUG!...

Do you::

1. Charge a bug sized arm and a leg?
2.Charge a Badger sized arm and a leg?

Alright you little not animal beast, go and get me the berries!

You suit the bug up with a piece of string so that he won't be able to run away when he makes the perilous journey for the treetops. But once you point out the berries and take a firm hold on your end of the string, the bug leaps off with a vengeance for new heights unknown. You weren't expecting quite a show and he manages to quickly pull the string from your paws, which makes you mad. You ____________ for a moment before the bug drops back in front of you, inexplicably tangled in his string, hanging at eye level with six handfuls (four handfuls and two feetfulls?) of the berries you asked for. Can Ladybugs grin? Cause I think this one is trying to.

Do you::

1. Grab them purple/blue/green berries and run to the market with them right away
2. Eat them orange/yellow/red berries right away, you've ALWAYS wanted to try them.

Let the Stupid Shrew eat. This is going to be a long night.

Ugh. Don't you just hate people like that? He sits there eating up all your hard earned food, slightly toothless and somehow STILL managing to talk through all those mouthfuls of precious food. You're beginning to hate/understand (your choice) what he's talking about when he starts in on 'gifts of the great tree' and how you don't have to do anything to receive them other than accept them and let them into your heart... your common sense gets the better of you and you stop to ask how not doing anything is the same as accepting and letting something into your heart... You think you've unleashed another two hour rant but he surprises you with a gap toothed grin. "You're a smart beast... here." He winks at you and hands you a pawfull of brown beans. "These are the fruits of life. Thank you for dinner, I must be going now." And with that he leaves, and you have a fistful of beans.... sound familiar?

Do you::

1. Plant them? Maybe you can meet a giant zombie version of Fezzik the Badger?
2. Eat them. Something about them seems edible. maybe. Probably. Oh shut up common sense.

Stupid Shrew, Stupid Door, Stupid Healers, Stupid Hand

As you watch your hand gets steadily more purple and steadily more swollen. You're glad that you decided to go to a healer beast, and lucky for you Daisy the mouse is nearby today. You seem to remember that she's a cheap healer and you could theoretically get away with all your limbs if you go to her. When you get there, however, Daisy wants your soul as payment. She's going to put it into a little bottle on her shelf. You think this is crazy.... the bottles that are already there are empty... at least, they look empty. You want my soul? Don't I need that? Lets hope her healing ability isn't as crazy as she is.

Do you::

1. I don't have a soul that you can take, and you're a crazy little mouse who keeps empty bottles on a shelf, no thanks, I feel better already
2. Um... how can this go wrong? Sure, take my soul. You want my spleen as well? I hear we don't really need those either.

If I missed your prompt pm me, I think I got them all...
Only one more round people heart

This night was getting worse and worse. As Clarion began to sink, he thought to himself about what he'd do if he could do it over again. He knew what he'd do- he'd eat that stupid ladybug before any of this could happen. He'd been threatened, attacked, and then rolled down a hill and into quicksand.

May the Great Tree take this night and keep it among its roots! he thought to himself. What could he do?

Gritting his teeth, he decided to call for help. His foot was sprained, or perhaps even broken- he didn't know- but he could still slip away, hoping that the badger's paws wouldn't get a firm hold on his filthy fur... or use his weight against the badger, knock her into the mud pit, and then clamber out on top of her. She was a cannibal- he told himself she deserved it. Doing his best to not sink in the mud, he started shouting for help. "Anybeast! I'm stuck! Get me out of here, and there'll be a reward!"

He hadn't the foggiest idea what that could be, but hey, maybe it'd draw some otherwise self-indulged traveler near.

"Now...what skills do you offer?" Tristan said, crossing his arms and raptly staring across the room at the bug -- who still seemed so baffled by his sudden change in demeanor that he'd quite forgotten to continue tearing apart the house. "Clearly you're a demolition's expert -- but I'm needing something more entertaining, Master Bug."

"Coo?" The bug asked, looking thoroughly confused.

"Oh, whatever. Here..." He dug around in his (now thoroughly scattered) belongings, coming up with a scrap of bark, a smidge of charcoal, and a length of twine. "It's not that I don't trust you, Master Bug....it's only that I think we need to discuss the terms of our relationship. I am the boss, now, in our little enterprise, and I'll be telling you what to do -- and in return you'll perform for me, and we'll share the king's size of profits." He grinned. "You'll be needing a proper name, though. Any suggestions?"

As he spoke, he hurriedly fashioned a bit of a harness around the ladybug with his twine, wondering in the back of his mind why he didn't think to do this earlier when the bug was destroying his house. That finished, he sat back and began drafting up his poster.

"Tristan the Magnificent," he started, drawing out the words in elaborate letters, and then paused, chewing his bottom lip in contemplation. "Presents." He glanced at the bug. "....Clancy, the..." He shot another contemplative look at the bug, who was now trussed up a bit like a hostage. "Acrobatic Wonder Bug!"

Ahh, yes, that sounded nice. Acrobatic wonder bug, indeed!

...And if this didn't work out, he could still go with his last plan of planting the bug in the house of an unsuspecting vic....customer.

"Now then. Are you ready to perform, Clancy?"

"Murr?"

"Precisely. Come on, then....let's start building a routine." He tucked his sign carefully under his arm, grabbed the bug's 'leash' and made his way out into the world, peering around for something they could use as a circus arena until they could get proper funding. Eventually he settled on the inside of a hollowed-out log that lay a ways up-stream. He clambored up into it, eyeballing the interior, verifying there was enough room for his needs. Well, if they attracted badgers and otters and the like, it might be a bit snug, but they'd just have to sit outside.

Pleased with himself (but not with the bug, who, sensing freedom, was straining at the leash) he tethered Clancy to one of the branches of the fallen log and set about fixing his sign to the log's own bark.

Before stepping away, he wrote just one more thing across the sign:

"Admission: Free.
Mandatory Donation
to be Discussed
After the Show."

What had he done to deserve this? Okay there was a few things- but why this? This humiliation was hardly worth the few petty crimes he had committed! Why did karma rear its ugly two-toothed, $%#$-breathed head?

Maybe because you're absolutely useless at those skills you pride yourself in.

Etto couldn't argue with his inner dark-voice's logic. He also couldn't-much as he wanted to- scale the muddy walls. It was like trying to scramble up a waterfall. Only a gross, dirty waterfall that was staining his little cape and paws and fur and URGH.

So he sat and thought.
Right. So punching the fur off the giant didn't work. Yelling probably wouldn't help anything, he was far out of range of any path, and anyone walking this area would HARDLY be of the saving-random-patrons demeanor.
But if Etto was anything, it was pigheaded! No wait... determined. That's the right word.
And if he couldn't beat someone one way, he'd figure out a different way.

Even if it meant he had to jam his foot down the badger's throat right as she tried to chew off his leg.
Actually that wasn't a bad idea.
Only replace his paw with a rock. That was a much better idea.

So he sat and sulked. And schemed of course.

"Urr."

Not exactly English. What Ralph was trying to convey through his incoherent grumbling was 'man. This was quite a bit of work tying you up and dragging your ladybug butt to this tree. Better bring me back something worth all this'. Really, though. It wasn't like he was going to even try to have a proper conversation with the thing. Get the berries, and then leave. That was the plan.

Leaning back, his hand still grasped around the little leash, Ralph surveys the chosen tree. He's never tried to scavenge this one before...could be some interesting finds way up there.

"Okay. Bug, go fe- HEY!"

The string slips through his fingers, and Ralph can barely catch the tiny black legs of the creature as it vanishes away from him. And yes, that did make Ralph mad. There's a moment of silent seething, the hedgehog glaring up into the leaves of the tree, as if he's trying to light it on fire with his mind. He's considering, in his mind, to just turn back and go home now, or to actually try and climb the tree himself (he did walk all the way out here, might as well be for something)-

His thoughts were cut short as the bug tumbled back out of the tree, all tangled up with the string. Ralph gave it a deadpan stare, slowly raising a brow. Good work, ladybug.

Wordlessly, he reaches forward and takes the berries in his arms. It's off the to market. It's off to the market with this forever 'I am so not amused' angry hedgehog expression.

(( option 1 ))

1. Plant them? Maybe you can meet a giant zombie version of Fezzik the Badger?

Wooden spoon raised halfway to her mouth, Abby only stared as the shrew ravenously dug into his meal, half-chewed nuts and spittle flying everywhere. She ducked as a almond chip flew over her head, and gasped as the shrew dug his face into the wooden bowl, licking up every drop of soup. Not only was he chewing with his mouth wide open, he was STILL talking about things like “gifts of the tree”, “heart”, and whatever words she could decipher from the garble. She had never seen such atrocious table manners before, and in honestly, made her lose her appetite.

“Y’all gonna finish that?”

“H-huh?” Abby looked down at her bowl of soup, gone cold, untouched.

“Oh, n-no, you can have it…” she placed the spoon back in the bowl as she pushed it towards him, only to have him snatch it up and gulp it down in a mouthful.

“Ahhhhhhh, that really hit the spot.”

He sighed, and released a huge burp.

Curiousity getting the better of her, she began to ask the shrew about his rambling, about receving something without having to do anything. The thought intrigued her, yet after the words left her mouth, she regretted the shrew may stay another hour or too, and eat her (and her aunt) out of house and home.

“Ah… smart beast, aren’t ‘cha."

He winked, and grabbed Abby’s paw, depositing a handful of brown beans in them.

Brushing himself off, he headed towards the door, and raised a paw.

“T’anks fer the dinner! I’ll be on ma way now.”

Abby only stared as the shrew left, mouth agape. She turned her attention back to the beans in her paws. Heaving a sigh, she went outside, dug a hole, and buried them.

It felt like a waste to throw it out, but she didn’t think her aunt would approve of eating some strange beans offered by a stranger… and neither did she.