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 Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 9:04 pm
 Aefes Colim ------------- In amidst his slight depression he felt a strange chill run up his spine at the same time a hand was rubbed on his shoulder. The feeling was unfamiliar to him which confused him a little as to why he felt oddly... pleasant? But the gesture wasn't all that made him feel all strange... yet again still pleasant. It was nice to know he wasn't the only one who had a poor job, but he doubted he get much anywhere not with his second head taking over his life & didn't have much motivation for actually getting a real job. It wasn't something he probably mention to the Seaking though. What started out as a hunt for the male, ended up as something less it seemed. He was beautiful yes, which only made him want to even more, to see that face make such beautiful noises, but it didn't feel right anymore. Maybe this is what it meant to have a friend? Aefes chuckled hearing the male was actually a klutz, but it somehow seemed to fit him. "I suppose so..." The freckled male concluded, slowly smiling again as he stabbed a piece of the steak again & popped it into his mouth. He hadn't forgotten about Lumi though, he knew he'd have to go do something to try & fix this, he just didn't know what yet & apologizing was out of the question.
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 2:47 am
 I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
x
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x ((short post is short >,< ))
Niemi put an obviously childish pout on his face when he heard Aefes's response. It was like something made the feebas just want to be a downer right now! Wasn't this supposed to be fun? "There's no 'suppose' to it. I'm right. Deal." the seaking said confidently, sticking his tongue out at the man before taking another bite from the meal. At least it seemed like the freckled male was cheering up a bit now but really he didn't seem like the kind to be pouting about life.
"You don't strike me as the mopey kind of guy. So, what's up?" he asked finally, feeling more comfortable now that things didn't seem so tense in the room. But really it seemed like there was something on the odd feebas's mind, and Niemi really was the blissfully oblivious type of person.
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Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control
Tragic visions slowly stole my life
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 4:52 am
Aefes Colim ------------- Again he chuckled, shaking his head as the Seaking when he told him there was no suppose to it & to deal. He knew he was right, but his childish nature was amusing, perhaps that's why he felt so at ease with him. After popping more of the steak in his mouth however he was caught by the Seaking & quickly finished up the food in his mouth before faking a smile to cover up his bothersome emotions. "It's nothing, I'm fine." He lied, still in denial that he was worrying over the Magmortar, & continued eating to try & convince himself, force himself not to tell the other he was actually worrying. It was odd enough he was even worrying about anyone but Thea, at least to him. Things seemed to be getting too close, & he knew it, but he wasn't sure if he really wanted to just run away this time. Lumi's ourbursts & blushing reactions were simply amusing beyond belief to him, but if he stuck around much longer, he was sure he'd be the next the next heartbroken idiot. "Hey Niemi, what school to work at?" The question just occured to him that the Seaking may actually work at the school he's supposed to attend but hardly ever does, & when he does skips every class excluding maybe a few like cooking. Aefes was actually curious about it since he'd never seen him around the school, but then again it'd be hard to when he didn't attend the subject he taught. Aefes looked at the other next to him holding his fork to his bottom lip looking almost as if he was thinking, but was waiting for an answer & took that time to look over him again, it was hard not to when he was that pretty.
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Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 2:07 pm
I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
x
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x [[ I never named the school he works at so I just put a blank xD you can name it if you want, if not I will later lawl ]]
Niemi wasn't buying it, not for a moment at all. The man may not have much of a social life, considering the fact that most people were too cautious to be near him after getting to know him, but he'd learned to tell when something was up. He did have to deal with teenager's all day, after all and with teenagers - something's always up. And then the feebas even went as far as to change the subject, solidifying the fact that something was definitely up.
The fish gijinka gave a bit of soft laughter before calling the man out on it, "Changing the subject, definite sign that it is not 'nothing'." he said, lifting a finger to point it rather closely at Aefes's nose. "I work at _________ High School, not that it's any of your business~" the man teased briefly, sticking out the tip of his tongue.
He wasn't about to let him answering the question serve as a subject changer though, if something was wrong then he was sure that it wouldn't be good to bottle it up. Plus, the seaking just had this nurturer nature, and wanted to try to help. "But really, what's wrong?" he asked more seriously now, sitting up and looking at him more directly to show that he intended to stay on topic.
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Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control
Tragic visions slowly stole my life
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Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 3:08 pm
Aefes Colim ------------- As he supected he did work at his school, but he was surprised hadn't ever crossed the male before cause he certainly would have taken "after school tutoring" if that was the case. But he hadn't & that was his current loss. But he didn't linger or even really think much on it since he was being pinned in a corner to tell the truth about what was wrong. Agitated by that, he looked away from the Seaking's serious gaze & stabbed his own fork into a piece of steak, leaving the fork to stand on it's own. "Nothing is wrong, I'm fine. Just drop it." Aefes's voice was more stern than usual, & gave off that feeling that you wouldn't want to keep pushing it. He didn't fully understand why it agitated him so much just to be pushed to tell the truth on his feelings for once. Maybe it was the fact he was scared of it, knowing that he was falling for that ill tempered, closeted, stubborn Magmortar. The very thing he had been avoiding for years now was finally casting itself on him, & he feared the end of it, the horrible pain that Thea always explained. It was not something he ever wanted to experience cause he wasn't sure he'd ever make back out alive.
But it seemed the longer he kept trying to avoid the Seaking's stare, the more he felt himself cracking, & to avoid any outburst that he would regret right after he abruptly stood up & headed straight for his door. It probably would make his "nothing" problem seem more obvious that it was something, but he couldn't stay there anymore where he could potentially say something stupid. "I'm going to the bathroom, don't wait for me." He spoke in annoyed tone as he paused at his door way then continued his way towards the Magmortars room, yes he had just lied to the Seaking, but right now he needed to check on the danm male before his worrying ate him alive. It occured to him though that he had no idea where Lumi's room was & thus had to quietly & quickly search every room, while checking behind him to make sure Niemi didn't catch him checking rooms. As he passed each sliding glass door, he moved them precaution, opening the only enough to vaguely see inside, then quietly slid them closed again. He finally reached a room which all he could see was a plate of sandwiches, but while he remained quiet the sound of faint sobbing caught his ears from within the room.
The very sound tugged at his heart & made him feel like a complete a**, his own pride & childishness had ended up hurting Lumi more than he meant to. With a heavy sight he slid into the room quietly shutting the door behind him & apporached the sound, swinging open the door with a bit of aggresion, his face showing the same. It was annoying, all of it, he didn't want to admit he actually felt something for this guy, the moment he did would be the start of his downfall. For the first few moments all he did was stare down at the sobbing male, his angered expression softening slowly until it was very clear he was upset with himself for hurting the blonde/red head. Another few moments passed before her muttered something that would most likely need to be repeated. The words he thought he'd never say to anyone but Thea left his mouth. "I'm sorry..." Countering it before he'd have to repeat himself he looked back at Lumi, again letting the soft exterior he had turn hard. "Just stop crying already, your making me feel weird." A faint blush was the only sign of his soft side breaking out as he stared down the Magmortar.
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Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 9:21 am
  ʆʊӎɩеɳțе
┏━━━━━━━━━┓ He didn't know why but he was just crying. At first it was because he was pissed but then everything from years before kept piling on his sadness. Damn his sister for being right. For some reason the more he cried the better he felt. Sure all of his worst demons were coming out but in a way crying just rid them all except his foul anger. That was one part of him he knew would keep rearing it's ugly head whenever he met anyone. He really hoped no one would find him, especially those stupid real world cameras or Aefes. The last thing he truly need was to look like a punk on real cameras. But he also knew that the cameras were everywhere hence why he made sure to tell the producer that hell would be paid if there was a camera in his room. He liked his privacy, and he knew the producer didn't listen to him but at least he could keep a promise if his sisters called him in like two weeks.
His stomach started growling but he still couldn't get up. He was about to when he heard someone enter his room. He really didn't want anyone to see him like this so he tried to quiet his sobbing. Hearing the door open, he started to grow pissed with himself since he saw he really didn't lock the door, but what could he do? He was already busted, and by who, he really didn't give a damn for. He just wanted them to leave. Hearing a sorry come off of someone's lips Lumiente turned and saw Aefes. His worst prediction came true, and now he was suffering for it. He knew Aefes felt guilty just like him, and together they were not solving the issue...at...all. Jeez we argue like an angry couple Chuckling at the idea that he was the female in their relationship, Lumiente turned to Aefes. "What do you got to apologize for? I was the a*****e and you treated me like one. I should be apologizing but instead I ran away and cried. What a punk." He continued to laugh at his own weakness, his tears starting to be replaced with self-loath. Women and effeminate were suppose to cry, not a man who was trying to prove to the world he could still be straight. Especially on live television, where everyone, even his college mates, were watching. He continue to sit on the floor just clutching the pillow sinking further and further into a pit of self-despair.
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Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 10:54 am
Aefes Colim ------------- It only angered him again to hear he didn't need to apologize after all. After throwing his pride down the drain to admit he was being a bit harsh & apologize. It was not something he did everyday. "I was apologizing because..." As angry as he was the reason was more apparent to him after he thought about it, & didn't like it one bit. "Just forget it." He muttered, recalling that horrible feeling he got when he heard him crying, he hated it & didn't want to feel that ever again, but he also didn't want it to be known. His glare fell over the male as he seemed to revert back into a depression, only making the pain in his chest arise again. Without thinking he snatched up the boy's wrist, forcing him to stand inches from himself. "If you really think you should apologize then do it, but don't sit there & cry about it. I'm right here so say it." The freckled male hadn't intended to be so rough, & didn't realize he was even as he seemingly scolded the Magmortar, but as it was he was already getting quite sick of this emotional weight & just wanted it to stop already, unfortunately he couldn't just turn around leave either. That's what ate him.
"You can start by telling me what your issue was down there." His grip on the males wrist finally was released as he glared into the pair of red eyes in front of him, & his arms were tossed into a crossing position on his chest, more than ready to hear the reason he'd been being treated the way he had been. It was odd to actually see the Feebas be so serious, or at least to anyone who knew him no more than just a good one night stand.
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Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 3:27 pm
ʆʊӎɩеɳțе
┏━━━━━━━━━┓ Lumiente didn't plan on Aefes staying around with him. He figured the boy would become annoyed or angry and stomp off like any of their arguments. But this time it was Aefes taking the bigger role in their little spat. He heard Aefes began to explain himself but then quickly stop himself. He started to turn to Aefes only to be picked up roughly by his wrist. This was a new side of Aefes for Lumiente so he just sat stunned as he was scolded like a little child. After Aefes released his wrist, Lumiente walked over to his bed, threw his pillow on the bed and plopped at the top of his bed. He knew he had to answer Aefes' question so he made sure at least he would make himself comfortable. Wiping any excess tears off his face Lumiente leaned against the wall almost preparing himself for the rebuttal after he gave his reasoning.
"The reason I became so pissed was because you bragged about working in a brothel. How can you be proud of that? Especially since you're lying. To work in a brothel is degrading. People only work their when they have nowhere else to go. And you brag about it? I guess...I don't want you...to..." He didn't know why he couldn't finish the sentence but something in him was just too embarrassed to say it. Swallowing his pride he finished his sentence. "Degrade yourself...you're worth more" Lumiente quickly blurted out turning his head to the side. Seriously...if he wasn't being womanly, this basically summed it up. He hoped Aefes wouldn't ridicule him because after crying then blurting out his feelings really left him open to insult and if he received any, he might just explode.
┗━━━━━━━━━┛
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Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 5:34 pm
Aefes Colim ------------- The Feebas watched every step & movement the Magmortar made, glaring him down until he heard words. An explanation. As Lumi plopped himself onto his bed, he waited until he heard him speaking, & again it came to him as a bit humorous, even if he was trying to be serious on the matter. But apparentally he hadn't realized yet how much of a sex addict he was, & how much he loved doing things with stange men. To him it wasn't degrading at all 'cause it plain in simple felt good & gave him a rush, that's all that mattered, but to the Magmortar it was... degrading? Giving off a soft chuckle, Aefes let his arms shift back to his sides as he slowly walked to the others bed, plopping himself next to the other. Before answering however his eyes roamed the room briefly as if collecting his thoughts, but really was checking for any wired camera's in the room. Finally his eyes spotted at least one, it was small, hardly noticable, but there, then looked towards Lumi, a childish smile on his face as a single finger poked at the tip of the fire types nose. "Apparentally you haven't learned yet how much I love sex. What's degrading to you, isn't for me, merely a way to have a good time & earn money while doing it." Chuckling again, he removed his finger from said nose, placing his hand back at his side, clutching to the edge of the bed. "Besides, it seemed like a better place than where I actually work..." Pouting, he looked away clearly not wanting to tell where he worked even if Niemi had given him a small pep talk about it earlier before hand.
Just as quickly as the pout appeared though, it dissappeard back to a grin while he peered at the Magmortar wagging his finger. "But you know, you shouldn't be so jealous, even if it is cute to see you like that, jealousy can be so ugly of an emotion." Another chuckle was let off as he moved closer, shutting what distance there was from them sitting next to one another so he could feel his body warmth. "Besides, I'm not going anywhere." He purred softly, his eyes gazing into the red orbs in front of him, seconds before closing the rest of the distance there was to meet the others lips with his own. The sensation, as always gave him a chill, but this time mad ehis heart skip, which startled him a little, but ignored it as he pressed forward until he was nearly hovering over the other male.
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Posted: Sat Sep 04, 2010 11:34 pm
 _______☆ ☆ ☆ J A C K I E . S T R I P E+++++++++++++++++++++++++Jackie heard Neimi. A high school english teacher? Very interesting. She would never have the patience to handle teenagers. She would start yelling and be angry and stressed all the time. Jackie would be a horrible teacher. But a novelist sounded kind cool. This guy must be quite imaginative to be a novelist. He also must be intelligent and patient to be a teacher. She smirked. Jackie never really cared for teachers. When she was in high school, they were strict on her. They hated her. They gave her bad grades purposely out of spite, when she deserved better. Jackie watched him exit the kitchen, entering into the room of the feebas and some other pokemon.
The skuntank remained in the kitchen, bored. She felt sorta like a lost puppy. Unsure where to go. Her eyes averted to the porn star. Jackie could imagine her doing porn. She shrugged a little and looked at her while taking a sip of the straight vodka. "What's it like to be a porn star? If you don't mind me askin'," she questioned curiously. Jackie would never be cut out for porn. No guy would want to arouse themselves in the corner while looking at her naked on a screen. And it made her feel uncomfortable.
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Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 5:37 pm
ʆʊӎɩеɳțе
┏━━━━━━━━━┓ Lumiente started at Aefes cautiously waiting for him to make a lewd response. Looking around, he realized they were in a bedroom, by themselves, with a camera hidden somewhere, which had better been off. He looked around a second and then that grin appeared on his face. Lumiente titled it the "uh-oh face" because whenever he made that grin, it always ended with a flustered redhead. He got poked on the noise causing a slight huff to come from him. He knew Aefes liked...'sex' but there is so much more to life, or at least Lumiente thought that. Hearing that Aefes truly did lie did calm him a bit because if a brothel hired underaged, he would be sure to raise hell wherever it was. But since he also lied, Lumiente felt that slight irritation rising in him again. He felt it rise a little more hearing that Aefes thought he was jealous. Jealous? I barely know the word. I can't believe he thought I was jealous. Anyone lying about working at a brothel is bad. As he thought that, he could help but feel a slight twitch of envy from the fact Aefes would give his body out to anyone but he tried to hid it under the irritation.
Lumiente was about to speak when Aefes jumped over him. Once he heard the purr he knew what was coming next. As Aefes leaned in to kiss him, he felt himself leaning back to accept what was 'his', or so he wished. As he got further into Aefes' territory, he remembered that they were on national tv. Ending their kiss, or what started as one, Lumiente gently pushed Aefes off, much kinder than earlier in the living room. That's it...I'm busted. Now I will burn for what I enjoy Slightly dreading the future, Lumiente put his hand on his head and shook his head a little. "Aefes...Is that all you think of?" Not even addressing how he was ruined socially, Lumiente figured he'd deal with his first immediate problem: Aefes' lack of boundaries. "We seriously need to determine where our boundaries are. We're on national television! We can't do...that anywhere we want. People are watching us!" He hoped he got across to Aefes but he knew deep inside, it would be a long time before Aefes even tried to listen. Lumiente learned quickly that nothing came between Aefes' want so instead of trying to kill that want, he instead kept trying to prolong it anyway he could.
┗━━━━━━━━━┛ OOC: I'm sorry I disappeared so long. I tried to get to a comp but this week has just been hectic >.<
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Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 6:45 pm
Aefes Colim ------------- Just when he was sure of having an easy win for once, a soft shove told him it wasn't going to be easy at all. He was foolish to even think so, & parted from the connection of their lips to straddle the male below him with a pout. He was of course expecting the expected as Lumi again brang up the fact that Aefes' mind was stuck in the gutter & kept dragging itself along through it & having hella fun with do it. The Feebas merely sighed heavily & glanced around the room upon hearing him mention they were on tv, he'd have to get used to that, what he found as stupid, fear of being watched during intercourse. To him it was quite exhilirating to have all eyes on him do what he's best at. After his umber eyes rested on the camera for a moment, he looked back to the male he was resting his bottom on so comfortably with that same pout of annoyance. "You wouldn't listen to me even if I told you to ignore it would you?" Even he knew the answer to that, it was stupid to ask, & he couldn't help but become even more annoyed with it while contemplating a plan around it. He was about sick of getting blocked like this so it seemed about time to just find ways around these "issues". Once again he scanned the room slowly, double taking the closet for a moment as a grin quickly replaced his annoyed glares. "Fine, you don't want to be seen, that can be arranged." His grin turned to the Magmortar, almost in a spiteful way, he wasn't about to get blocked here, it'd been too long since his last "good time". In a swift motion he slipped off the male, making quick motion before Lumi could try & get out of this, he grabbed the collar of his shirt & dragged him along towards the closet he'd come out of just about seconds ago, all the while a wide grin was pressing itself ear to ear the more he neared the door.
The closet seemed just roomie enough, of course not large & luxorius(sp?), but held the right amount of space needed for what he intended. Stepping aside he mushed the boy forward before him, & pushed him in first, then followed after shutting the door behind himself creating less space between the two & also shutting off any light from reaching them. "There, no one can see us, you have nothing to complain about." Why he even bothered listening to his whining about being seen was merely more so to get to his destination in mind, it still irked him how much this Magmortar worried over petty things like a woman. Though it was not visible, he still wore that spiteful grin until he started nipping at the males collar bone & working his way up to meet the others lips roughly while body meshed with the other against the wall. Roaming hands couldn't help but tug at the cloth beneath them to feel the warmth hidden underneath, it was certainly catching his interest much more thinking of doing such things in such little provided space, certainly a first for him.
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Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 9:55 am
ʆʊӎɩеɳțе
┏━━━━━━━━━┓ Lumiente blinked slowly when he saw that Aefes moved back and made no response. That silence was shortly lived when Aefes responded back. His responses didn't seem to make the situation any better for Lumiente...in fact he was afraid Aefes would nullify his excuse. And Aefes did, really quickly. The next thing he knew he was in the closet he just walked out of. He knew he was dragged, but sometimes he had to question Aefes' strength especially when he wanted something. Being shoved into the wall, Lumiente looked and realized that now they were out of the light so no one would be able to see them. Well...there goes my excuse...AGAIN Lumiente almost sighed when he heard Aefes talking. He was about to respond when his collar started to get attacked. Sensitve to any touch, Lumiente gasped a little before his lips were forcefully met with Aefes'. He felt hands roam him, and he couldn't help but return the favor. Taking off his gloves, Lumiente's hands began to explore Aefes' body part by part.
Hormones were getting the best of him and he forced Aefes to switch places with him so he could run their little make-out session. Or at least that is what Lumiente wanted since he didn't want to proceed anymore. A small fear in the back of his mind told him that if he let Aefes get him, then he would leave him so he always stopped himself before anything too important could happen. As he continued to kiss Aefes, he could feel himself losing breath. No matter how much air he got inbetween their lip locked kisses, he could feel himself becoming lightheaded. Pulling back to take a breath, Lumiente wiped some saliva off his mouth and lean against Aefes with his head on his shoulder blade. Taking deep breaths to control his voice, Lumiente denied himself from looking up at Aefes. If he saw that Aefes looked like he probably did, he wouldn't be able to handle what he did next. "You're determined aren't you? Almost got me with that trick...I will give you that. But my resolve always stays the same and you know it. Kisses and touches, I'm fine...anything else might be off limits." He wanted to say more but he was seriously out of breath. Holding Aefes' hips, Lumiente made sure to keep Aefes away from him so that he wouldn't know of his slight problem. His heavy breathing began to slow down as he got more oxygen. He knew Aefes was going to have a lewd response so he held Aefes and waited.
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Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 1:01 pm
Aefes Colim ------------- He was more than pleased to feel hands in turn roaming his already bare chest since he hadn't bothered to wear a shirt today. The suns heat showed no kindness, so he dealt with it by retreating from wearing a shirt, & so far it proved to be a good choice as he was finding it difficult to hide the fact the touches were effecting him & it showed on his face, twisting in between their kiss. The feeling was long missed since he'd bothered to chasing after this stubborn Magmortar, which was becoming quite troublesome & aggrevating. But his place over Lumi didn't remain still for long, instead he was pinned to the wall which only hieghtened his mood while his hands this time tickled upward in a teasing fashion, but before he could continue much more the other male pulled away, again frustrating the Feebas, a common thing that seemed to go on. He just wouldn't let up about this whole love thing & really he was becoming less & less patient for tolerating the crap. Much more so because he didn't want to understand love, all he knew was it was nothing but trouble. Something he was trying not to meddle with, but the longer he stuck around him, the more likely it seemed he was meddling with it. He didn't even know why he was so determined to get him, or why it even bothered him when he was upset. Why couldn't he just walk away like he usually did?
An annoyed glare had shifted to a frown as he felt the weight pressing on his shoulder, that strange butterfly feeling again arising as he felt his heart pick up it's pace. Why? Why did this keep happening? & what did it even mean? They were stupid questions, any idiot could answer it even if they'd never experienced it themself, but he kept asking himself this as if to find a different answer than what it obviously was. He didn't want to admit it, but he was falling for this man. Unable to control his own confusion out of his anger for this he ignored his hormones that were still begging to be pleased. "Get off me." He only knew one way to stop it, to stop this feeling he was getting. "I said get off me." His voice was harsh, & he knew he'd probably hurt the Magmortar's feelings again, but he couldn't stand by & ignore that flutter. Things were getting too serious, he'd over stayed his welcome, thus he shoved the male over around him back against the wall & exited the closet, storming off like a spoiled child, & leaving both doors he opened to slam upon his exit.
For all he knew, he'd be avoiding the male like the plague now, it was all he could do to shut out that feeling. He didn't bother going to his room, for all he knew Niemi would still be there to pester him some more, & he didn't want to talk about this, not one bit. Instead he passed by the rooms, intending to head out to a club & drowned his mind, possibly pick someone up & forget about the Magmortar. No... Not a club, after all it was where he met Lumi, it'd only bring a nostaglic feeling he didn't quite enjoy, but where could he go? A bar? He wouldn't be able to do much drinking, in fact, he wouldn't be able to drink at all, & it was usually such a depressing place, seemed like the only other option though. Aefes trudged his way out of the hallway, & down the stairs while thinking this over, not once glancing at any occupants he passed & went straight for the door. Compared to his earlier over exhuberant behavior, it would catch anyone's eye that there was an obvious problem with him, he just hoped they'd leave it be.
He'd only glanced back once after exiting the well watched house with camera's, but from there beckoned a taxi to pick him up & bring him to his destination. He didn't let himself relax until he had hopped into the yellow vehicle, sinking himself into the seat with a grim look on his face. "Bring me to the nearest bar." Aefes barked as he shut the door, casting his eyes out the window once his destination was given, only then did an old verse he'd long forgotten come to mind.
Peace is a lie; there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory... my chains are broken....
Anything said from the driver went unheard, the vehicle now shifting into heading for it's destination.
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Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 8:11 am
ʆʊӎɩеɳțе
┏━━━━━━━━━┓ Lumiente looked up to see Aefes' looking very pissed. As soon as he did, he was violently shoved off and Aefes stormed out of his room. He couldn't understand why, but he thought that the reason was because he was still sexually hungry. Lumiente could only think that Aefes was now going to find some other man to sleep with. Stepping out of the closet yet again, Lumiente felt like a ton was on his back. Aside from the pain Aefes gave him, this day was just turning out worse and worse. Needing something to curb his guilt for as long as he can, Lumiente devoted himself to searching for any camera in his room. He knew it was a bad way to dealing with his issues but any freedom from his thoughts, even for a bit, he would quickly take. A part of him wanted to chase Aefes but he knew deep down they would never resolve anything. He didn't understand why he was falling for someone so opposite of him. Hearing his thoughts, Lumiente closed them off just to find those cameras. For almost an hour, Lumiente tore apart his room and found four cameras. He also searched in the closet just in case and climbed on his suitcase to get all the cameras in the upper walls. Afterwards he ripped them all out, sometimes too violently to deal with his slight depression.
Destroying all the cameras, Lumiente walked over to his window post and sat on it. Opening up the windows, Lumiente just sat looking out of the window. He seriously didn't know what to do with his life. With Aefes he really didn't care about coming out as gay on national tv since it meant more time with Aefes but now realizing his decision, he truly found himself to be the biggest idiot he knew. He always thought with his heart on impulse before listening to his right head which always got him in trouble. And now he was out to the country and lost the man he fought for. He knew his life was ruined and he caused himself to do it. Aefes was probably use to the abuse so that's why he didn't care, but Lumiente didn't want to return to that. All the hated cries, the constant use of force to defend himself, the lack of friends, and the breakage of a family just reminded Lumiente why he wanted to be closeted but Aefes just came and ruined it. He knew he shouldn't be turning the hate to Aefes but a part of him told him to put all the blame to Aefes to relieve himself. He knew he shouldn't listen but the more he listened, the more he felt himself blaming Aefes. He mentally kicked himself to stop the thoughts. By blaming others, he never truly felt closing since he still felt the feelings. He still blamed himself for being gay knowing that if he kept trying he could be accepted into society.
Sighing to himself, Lumiente wished he could cry himself to peace but he already did so once and his tears were gone. With nothing left to turn to, Lumiente turned to his last resort. Going over to his suitcase, Lumiente dug extremely low to find his pack of cigarettes. He despised them with a passion but they were the only thing he could turn to when he was mentally weak. In Columbia he would turn to his sisters, but he knew that one day they wouldn't be able to help him, so he turned to something else. His friends gave one to him one day in a way to deal with stress and he found that he felt slightly better after a smoke. After that he always carried a pack on him just in case he needed desperate measures. He felt that coming out to national television and losing the man for it was one of those measures. Taking out a lighter, Lumiente sat by the window and lit his cigarettes. Getting pass the first burning flavor, Lumiente continued to smoke. He knew he was slowly killing himself doing so, but if he wasn't going to live long anyways why should he try to extend his life? Dying lonely never really fazed him anymore. It was the idea of dying for what he believed. Since he knew this place was not the most tolerant kind, he knew his life might be on the line. And for all that matters, why should he fight back? Death's going to come one day. Not like anyone is going to fill the empty gap in his heart...so why should he prolong his own saddened death?
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