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 Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 6:03 pm
Rosuto was floating in darkness with no one and nothing save for the sound of wind and rain, but no thunder. He began wondering whether what had happened before he fell asleep was just a last illusion before death or if right now he was just dreaming. The illusion just seemed so real, but isn't that how a lot of illusions are? He shook his head, not wanting to think about it. Maybe this whole darkness is just a dreamless sleep. That could possibly be it. There was no way death would make him feel so warm and comforted as he had been in Hatomi's arms. There was just no way... right? Rosuto mentally prayed that he hadn't been just hallucinating. It would make him eternally miserable if it was nothing more than a simple vision of his wish. It would have meant that either nothing in the living world changed at all or whatever changes there were he hadn't lived to see them.
"I better stop thinking such negative thoughts," Rosuto said to himself, shaking the unfortunate thoughts out of his head. "I'm sure that everything is fine and right now I'm just dreaming... I hope." He closed his eyes and tried to succumb to the warmth he was feeling right now, but suddenly he heard the sound of thunder and a searing burn spread across his back. A cry of pain escaped him and he was forced to open his eyes. There was a bright light, another sound of thunder, and yet another searing pain. Desperately, Rosuto tried to run, but it was all in vain since the lightning kept striking at him. He cried out for help, but he faintly knew that nobody was going to save him. Now Rosuto wished nothing more than for this terror to be just a nightmare.
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 6:19 pm
At the sudden trashing of the boy in his arms he tightened his grip on him. One hand going to the back of the boys head and the other pulling his midsection closer to him. soft whsipers and calming words were heard as Hatomi tried to calm the boy. His eyes closing as he tried to calm him, "It's Ok Rosuto, I'm here no nothings hurting you. Your safe...shush now....everything will be good....hush...." He sighed and tried to calm him, but nothing came to mind. Except for one thing he knew would wake the boy from his hellish nightmare. He hoped to hell it worked though so he tilted Rosuta's head and place a gentle passionate kiss on Rosuto's soft lips. His fingers brushed his cheek gently as to try and calm and not alarm the boy. The rain outside seemed soft and fluffy like as he he pulled away slowly hoping that, that alone had done the trick.
His blue eyes watching the boy in his arms. It was his only hope into waking the boy from his nightmare. His mind was blank on anything else, though his blush spoke volumes that he hadn't wanted to pull away so soon, but he tried to convince himself that it was only to wake him.
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:03 pm
Rosuto was suddenly thrown out of his apparent nightmare and he was so happy to see Hatomi right there. Extremely relieved and still terrified, he buried his face into the older boy's chest. For some reason, there was still a bit of pain in his back, but he had only recently awakened from the nightmare and so it was probably nothing. The pain should go away sometime soon. There was no sound of thunder, so maybe the storm has died down a little, but he still kept his ears open in case there was a sound of thunder. His eyes were closed so they wouldn't see the lightning, his mouth was trembling in a failing attempt to keep from crying, and his entire body trembled from the terror he had somehow managed to escape. Nightmares had never bothered him this much, so why now did it have to strike him? Why now did it have to scare the living essence out of him?
After a little while, Rosuto had successfully managed to refrain from crying and began to calm down. Even so, he still needed to breathe deeply to completely let the trapped fear slowly evaporate. The comfort in Hatomi's arms seemed to help speed up the process and so Rosuto was able to relax not long after he woke up.
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Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 5:15 pm
"Hay it's ok...." He rubbed his back noticing now that Rosuto was completely awake now. The panic over and was just starting to calm down. He lifted his chin, "You ok? I was worrired....you sounded like you were in excrucciating pain..." His eyes showed the worry that was deep and true. Still holding him he waited for an answer, "I tried to wake you, but nothing worked so..." He blushed, "I kissed you." He watched Rosuto's face to see if that had been ok to do. He had fought with himself after doing it saying it was taking advantage of him while he slept. He fought in his head,
'you idiot.....you will drive him away.....just like you drove him away with your idiocy and everyone else you drove away that got to close to him emotionally and physically.'
'No....that's not true he loves me......right?...'
'Yes he does and your a jerk get it you deserve to be alone after all the s**t you caused.'
'.....'
'See even you think so deep down you know it's true and he will one day leave you when he falls in love with someone else....your just a passing fad for him.'
His eyes saddened a bit knowing that he was losing the fight with himself.
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Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 8:23 pm
Rosuto wanted to tell Hatomi what his nightmare had been about, but his throat had closed up. Tears had already begun running down his face and there was no way he could stop them. He was just still terrified of the nightmare that he had. His fear of lightning and thunder had somehow followed him into his sleep, and for some reason Hatomi couldn't follow. It didn't matter now, however. It was only a dream, nothing more.
At hearing that his senpai had kissed him to wake him up, Rosuto blushed and looked down. No wonder he felt funny when he woke up. It wasn't another prank on him, right? No, it can't be. If it was only a prank, then why would Hatomi stay here, or much less actually kiss him?
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Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 6:03 pm
Hatomi looked at Rosuto his eyes sad, but some how he seemed to smile through that sadness. He placed his fingers gentely under his chin and lifted it. His eyes meeting his with a warm look, "I love you...I truely do." He leaned in and kissed Rosuto that this kiss wasn't fake and he pooled all his emotions into this kiss just to make it clear on how much he truely cared for the other. His blue eyes showing every emotion he had hidden for so long, "In haven't felt so much in a long time. I feel like I had died before now. I lived day to day with a fake smile and showing only anger towards most people." He rubbed the side of the others face gentlely with the back of his finger tips. His mind remembering all the time he had spent without feeling after Rosuto's confession to him. He himself had left his own parents and never looked back. He had pushed all who got close to himself away. The only people who stuck with him even though they new he was pushing them away was his gang and Ryo. Who Ironically was one of two child whoo friends that had stayed close to him.
He ignroed everything at that moment except for Rosuto. He waited to hear what he had to say. He hoped the other accepted him and noticed this was all real and Hatomi was never going to hurt him again, just love him and protect him from now onwards. He sighed softly, "Please say something Rosuto....please."
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Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:22 pm
Rosuto looked away from Hatomi's face for a moment. He really wanted to believe his senpai, but after all this time that passed filled with pain and sorrow, how will he be able to trust him? "I... want to believe you, but... two years of separation and pining and two weeks of torment can destroy a person's trust," he finally said, looking back up at Hatomi's eyes. "I don't know if I can trust anyone anymore, even you." It wasn't that he didn't believe Hatomi, but it wasn't like he believed him either.
He felt guilty, very guilty, for not trusting Hatomi like he really wanted him to, but there was nothing he could do. He had no control of whether the trust would stay intact or break down. Like love and a lot of other feelings, trust can't be controlled. Of course Hatomi should know that, right?
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Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 7:07 pm
Hatomi sighed and nodded, "I figured as much. Then that means I'll have to earn your trust and I will do it." Determination entered his features and Hatomi never ran from a challange that he gave himself. Sigh though he kept his eyes on Rosuto his hand reached up and stroked along the side of his face his eyes unwavering. something Hatomi had learned to do was truthfully act upon his feelings except the ones his mind refused to admit until now. His eyes softened, "The quwstion is how I'm going to do that? What do you want me to do? How can I earn your trust and that I am trust worthy now? Please tell me otherwise I am completely lost here," He said softly as he kept his hand on his face. "I have pledged to protect you and I will do it, but what else can help me gain your trust. I never take back promises I have made and this is no different."
His blue eyes showed the softer gentle side of him that he hadn't shown to anyone since the day he had supposedly felt betrayed and had mistaken love for that feeling. "Please guide me Aisuru," He whispered softly. His hand fell away not sure as to what to do or say anymore. He hated the sounds the other had made in his pain filled nightmare and he oddly wondered if that happened to him every night. If that was the case then he would visit often just to save him from such dreams.
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Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 1:47 pm
Rosuto wasn't sure how to respond. He wasn't sure how he would be able to tell Hatomi what he must do to regain his trust. Everything that Rosuto thought of turned out to be a selfish thing, and he knew he could never ask that of Hatomi no matter how many times he would be willing to do it. Because of this he was very troubled. The least selfish thing in his mind is to just ask for Hatomi to assure the school that he changed, to not bother anyone no matter how pressured he would be or how the situation was. It would help Hatomi and everyone else in the school. Nobody would have to fear him, and Hatomi wouldn't feel guilty about anyone else dying to escape him. Rosuto would be the last attempted suicide by Hatomi's cause. Nobody else would feel like they would have to die. Everything will go smoothly for everyone then, right?
"Senpai, I want you to promise me something," Rosuto finally said. "Can you promise that no matter who tells you to or what happens that you won't hurt anybody again?" He knew he was asking for the sake of everyone who feared Hatomi, everyone who would have thought to disappear but haven't yet. "I know you won't hurt anyone on purpose anymore, but suppose someone pressures you or something happened, what would you do then? I doubt that you would break even then, but I'd still like to be sure that you really have accepted me and those who are like me."
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Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 6:06 pm
Hatomi rolled that over his head and he nodded pritty sure he would do just that. "I won't hurt anyone, but if they attack me I will defend myself and if there is trouble caused to you and anyone like you I'll stop it. I will no longer bully anyone and I will not hurt them on purpose," He thought some more, "I make your wish my promise, But i'm sure that's not all Rosuto..... I want you to be selfish...... Please you of all people desreve to be so. I know this because I took everything you loved away from you." He stroked his face gently, "Most people would do so by now.....why not you?" He sighed and shook his head, "Never mind I know why.....you would feel guilty if you did something like that won't you? Well I'm letting you so don't feel guilty....I want to do everything and anything you ask of me." He sighed, he knew Rosuto was keeping things from him. He wanted to prove he ment what he said through anything Rosuto could think of. He wasn't worried about what it was he just wanted to prove that he was telling the truth and he could trust him. He hated not being able to do so with just one thing he could change about himself. He wanted to change anything and everything he could to prove himself to his love.
Hatomi sighed and ran long slender fingers through his own hair. His eyes watching Rosuto as he tried to wrack his brain for anything of proof, but came up empty. His shoulders slumped slightly, though he wouldn't go back on any of his promises that he has made. Hatomi hated to break promises and so he never broke them except for once. The most important promise he had made Rosuto long ago. That they would be friends forever, and yet he had broken it. He hated himself for breaking it now after having forgotten his long made promise. "No matter what I will earn your trust back again....no matter how long it takes."
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Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 1:42 pm
"Senpai, if I ask you to do something out of my own selfishness and it's something you don't want to do, then it won't be fair for you," Rosuto said, now sounding guilty. "I don't want you to force yourself to do whatever I want." Even if Hatomi said that he would do anything Rosuto wanted, it doesn't mean he would like all of them. He knew his senpai wouldn't break any promises he made no matter how he would want to get out of them, so now he had practically decided to be Rosuto's slave. It shouldn't be that way. Hatomi never did anything wrong, right? Sure, he tormented so many, but his confusion was to blame.
After a yawn, Rosuto leaned against Hatomi and closed his eyes. "Maybe we should continue this conversation at school," he said. "We can't use up anymore time or else we'll wake up very tired. I don't mind showing up at school tired, since I'm used to it, but I don't want you to fall behind in class." Warmth seemed to cover him up and the melody of the drizzling rain seemed to lull Rosuto to sleep. Of course, he wasn't asleep just yet, but he was on his way to falling asleep.
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Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:04 pm
Hatomi kind figured what he was saying would make him sound like he was willing to be his slave, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to earn his trust back and he really didn't want to not, be able too. He sighed as he nodded his blue eyes watching him as he dozed off. The rain lulling him to sleep in his arms. He watched the other sleep, his mind wandering as he looked over Rosuto's face. His eyes had dark circles under his eyes and his thin lips were gaining the lost color they had indured only hours ago. He stroked that face and his thrumb ran along his lips, lost in thought as Rosuto slept. He looked out the nearby window and sighed as he thought about a way to bring up why he was with Rosuto and how he found out his true nature. He finally found one and he nodded to himself to seal it in place for tomarrow. Hoping it all went according to planned. After another moment of watching the rain roll down the window pain he soon felt himself nodding off his mind foggy with all the days long and vigorous challanges draining him to gain sleep in it's place.
When he woke again it was cloudy out and the rain had stopped. He rubbed his eyes and looked at his watch. He sighed he was glad he had woken up. He would have enough time to run home throw on a pair of clean cloths then come back to walk to school with Rosuto. "Hay Rosuto.....Rosuto wake up," He gently shook him with soft whispers. His light blue eyes shimmering slightly as he yawned, knowing full well he was still tired. But it wouldn't deater him long enough to phase him when he's at school. He would perk up after a glass of milk and buttered toast.
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Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 8:38 pm
Rosuto was awakened by Hatomi's gentle whispers and nudges. He wanted to sleep a little more, but today was a school day so he couldn't unless he wanted to skip, which was something he didn't want to do. Reluctantly, Rosuto sat up and yawned a little. The sleep was quite dreamless, or at least it seemed to be. There was nothing but darkness and it seemed to last only a few seconds, so it most likely is a dreamless sleep. At least there was no lightning or pain like the nightmare before.
"Morning, Senpai," Rosuto said, rubbing his eyes. "What time is it?" The sky outside was cloudy and still a bit dark, so why did they wake up so early? Perhaps Hatomi had something important to do before going to school. That would be a reasonable explanation. Rosuto's head tilted to the side a little, as he was too tired to keep it up. It could just be the lingering sleep or he was trying to recover the blood he lost the day before. Well, it shouldn't be anything serious. Nothing bad is going to happen today, that's for sure.
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Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 8:28 pm
"It's a little early, but I have to go change before the day starts. You know....don't want to show up at school with what I wore yesterday right/....Anyways I should be back in time to walk with you to school ok?"He gently lifted Rosuto and slid out from under him so he could stand up. Considering the other had been sleeping against him most of the time he was there. He stretched his musled body and yawned loudly. "Would you like me to get you anything while I'm out?" He said looking back down at Rosuto with tired filled eyes. He ran his fingers through his messed hair as another yawn consumed him. "Man it's going to be a rough day. Oh well," He stretched again and rubbed his forehead. Feeling slightly dizzy. Probably from lack of eating much yesterday. "I need to stop skipping meals.....It's not good for me in anyway."
Hatomi had remembered the illness his mother had and the possibility that he may get it too. It often runs in the family, but it never sticks around to long. Mostly it is when the body is at it's weakest that the illness strikes, lingers, and then fades away. Often leaving the one with the illnes weak and thin, but everything returns to norml after a while of rest and food cramming. If Hatomi wasn't careful then he could possiblely die if he didn't eat regularely. He had been taking any chances since his mother caught it and almost died from it. So he ate often. Well that was until Rosuto showed up. That was nother reason why he had distanced himself from eveyone as to keep them from worrying about him if he ever did get it. Even though the doctor said it was highly unlikely since he was extremely healthy. His mother only had it because she wasn't fit, or very healthy since she was little.
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Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 9:35 pm
"Oh, right," Rosuto said, considering the thought. Blushing as Hatomi picked him up, he wanted to say something, but remained silent. It was probably best not to say anything since there was nothing interesting to say. Besides, it probably isn't a good thing to start a conversation after just waking up.
At seeing Hatomi rubbing his forehead, Rosuto suddenly became worried. "S-senpai, are you okay?" he asked worriedly. "Did you eat anything yesterday?" Of course, he hadn't forgotten that Hatomi had some kind of lack of appetite, so maybe it's the reason for what headache his senpai had. In that case, he should probably eat something right away in order to avoid whatever may happen to him after that can be detrimental to his health.
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