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 Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 10:14 am
Yeah, I didn't really get anything from that one. I liked the image you were going for, but reading the poem I just felt a total disconnect. Sorry. This one though, I loved. It was just brimming with emotion. It felt a little like you just had a bunch of feeling that you didn't know what do do with and it just poured itself into a poem, or at least that's my interpretation. It's powerful, with a good balance between rhythm and flow. It takes me into this obscure, intense emotion its describing and I really liked that about it as well as the metaphor at the end, that was the perfect end for me. It was chilling!
As far as reviews go, you should be glad you get them at all! XD I'm just happy when people take an interest!
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Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 10:30 am
Yeah, I think people have told me that before. Some of my poems just don't have the heart that the others do.
You should make a thread as I have done and post all your poetry in it. Have a section in the title telling when the latest poem was added so people will know that you update it occasionally. I haven't received any comments lately, but perhaps I can just post my work in this thread and have people read it that way.
Edit: Ha, just got 5 stars in the arena on that poem I posted! mrgreen
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Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 5:30 pm
That's pretty good! I actually just posted some stuff in the arena for the first time (only just found out what it is). No one's rated it so far though, so I'm waiting to see what happens.
And I can do that? Just make a thread under "Writers come here"?
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Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 11:06 pm
Eh, don't worry. My stuff only gets rated 5-7 times on average. The ART arena, though, now, THAT'S where it's at. I submitted a few pictures and all of them were rated over 50 times each. Craziness.
Oh, yeah, go right ahead. Don't you see all those other threads? sweatdrop No, please, please, PLEASE, make a thread and post every scrap of your work in it. Us new writers need EXPOSURE to make ourselves known. mrgreen
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Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 5:28 am
It's to bad I don't draw. 50 ratings is pretty crazy.
Oh, thank you!! Gotta say, this is pretty cool! I'll go ahead and make it now then!
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Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 9:50 am
And so our new rivalry begins! cool Saw your thread. It's a start but you should put poetry in it before saying you updated it in my opinion. Wouldn't that make more sense?
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Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 10:24 am
Yeah, I meant to . . .
Sorry! I'll go put something in now!
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Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 12:07 pm
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Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:09 pm
Oh, please don't feel like you have to apologize. I was just being pushy is all. I didn't mean it to sound the way it did... sweatdrop Anyway, I commented. Yay, first comment! mrgreen
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Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:24 am
Yui of Morgance Do you have any poems posted here? I haven't looked through the whole forum- I just found it last night. Page two , two poems on that , and then another two on page three.
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Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 12:00 pm
I'm not sure if these are good but i like them from all the ones i wrote Angels
Angels have no home,
They leave you all alone,
All they do is rome,
That's what i've done all my life,
And i've paid its price,
So yes i'm an angel. Animals
Animals see into our souls,
Singing the right notes and tunes,
They look at us with eyes of love,
They never hold a grudge,
They're as loyal as anyone can be and more,
They're always there for you when you need someone,
They are the true friends,
Because they never leave you.
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Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 1:30 pm
Gazma, I just realized something. I'm not crew, which means I can't edit the title of my post. Which means I can't change the date it was updated. Which makes me look pretty stupid . . . .
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Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 1:33 pm
{Here's a poem I wrote.} Pain
By George Freeman
Pain is the inability to act
To know something is coming
And not be able to do anything about it
To be stuck in a cage with the inevitability of actions
That seems far beyond your control.
Leaving you alone, and forcing you to watch.
Forcing you into silent Suffering.
That my friend is pain {Please tell me if it is good or not
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Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 2:08 pm
Well, I can't say I've ever thought of pain that way before, so it did make me think. It's a little rough, but the basics are there. No real rhyme scheme, meter or rhythm or anything, but something about it's choppiness is actually kind of appealing. For future, I would try to make it flow more, make the lines connect to each other or have a more coherent rhythm. After all, a stanza is really one unit of writing. Good start though!
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Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 3:45 pm
Yui of Morgance Gazma, I just realized something. I'm not crew, which means I can't edit the title of my post. Which means I can't change the date it was updated. Which makes me look pretty stupid . . . .
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