Interview with Bapp!
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Hi, Bapp!
Heya.
Okay, let's start off with some questions about you. You're quite the mysterious figure! Where did you grow up?
Planet Earth. I grew up while travelling I guess? I don't really have a place I can call my hometown...
Truly fascinating. Your scythe. How long have you had it? Does it have a name?
My scythe? I bought him after a lot of part-time jobs, and did some fixing up to him myself. I don't think it has a name, though.
He's been with me for around... 8 years?
Holding down jobs must have been hard while on the move...
I'm not constantly on the move. When I stay in a place, normally for around a few months, I take up a few jobs to pay for food and keep some for myself for any odd purchases I feel like making.
So you've been doing this your entire life? Don't you have any parents? Did you never go to school?
I guess... so? I don't really remember my parents. It's a fuzzy meMory, so I think I probably hit my head sometime when I was a kid.
As for school... err...
When I was smaller I'd look into school windows and study whatever's there. Sometimes I sneak into the class and listen to the lesson... although it doesn't seem that interesting anymore when you're grown up.
You're 15, right?
16 this year.
So I guess you're among the youngest members of the Order, next to Bakar and Harata. Do you get along with the other acolytes your age?
I don't think I've met this... Bakar. Harata's a bit odd though. I don't think she likes me.
A lot of people seem to have problems with Harata... interesting. Well, I've done enough blabbering - time for questions from our users! iGrunny E M O has a few to start us off. "Bapp, are you a shota?"
What? Noooooo!
"Bewbehs?"
Bew-what...? Oh...!
What about them?
Hahahaha! A fine way to start - get the anatomical questions out of the way with straight off. Next up, Maborofel has kindly numbered all eight of his questions just to keep them in order for me. "1: Why do you wear top hats?"
They keep the sun out of my eyes... and... well, it's easy to keep my hair in. There's alot of space.
"2: Have you ever lost your hat? If so, how many times have you had to replace it?"
I... don't think I have... *has a deep thinking expression here*
But the reason it has this color is because I put it in the washing machine to wash along with some of my other clothes and the color mixed... and... well... I didn't want to go buy a new one. It would've been such a hassle.
"3: Where do you buy these hats?"
A hat store, naturally.
"4: have you ever hidden anything in your hat?"
My hair.
"5: What would you do if I stuck a rabid squirrel in your hat?"
I would let it out before putting the hat back on...
"6: okay then...enough about the hats, have you ever fallen into any other mysterious holes?"
I came into this world via a really mysterious hole. How do you define mysterious?
...It's not so mysterious, I promise you! "7: Have you ever launched something out of a cannon just for kicks?"
Myself.
"8: How many fingers am I holding up?"
... How am I supposed to know that over words...?!
I'm afraid I couldn't hope to guess either. Feline Godess is next up! "How many special attacks to you have?"
In total, 28 or so... Including the ones that I haven't learned yet. *smirks*
"Which is your favorite to use?"
I don't think I have a favourite. I like to use them all, even if they don't fit the situation.
Yes, we can tell. Is the best part simply screaming at the top of your lungs in German?
They're German 'cos when I just made them up I didn't know what to call them and there was a German dictionary nearby. It's nothing to do with enjoying the screaming or not...
Although, screaming is fun, yes.
"Would you like a cheeseburger for a pet?"
It wouldn't last very long.
"What made you want to follow the Overseer?"
Nothing. I just like the side of justice.
"If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?"
Is anyone there to hear it?
I believe that that is the whole point of the philosophical debate...
Okay, let's try "If a man says something in a forest and no woman is around to hear him, is he still wrong?"
... Ah- Hey wait, why is the man wrong?
Yes, tell us about your misogyny. It really has rubbed certain female members of the Order up the wrong way.
Misogyny? What's that? Is it tasty?
It means, in layman's terms, that you have something against women.
But I have nothing against women...
Why do you refuse to duel them?
Because I don't want to hurt women...
Don't you think that's a little demeaning? The women you'd be sparring against are just as skilled if not moreso than you...
Erm... I'm not very sure how to explain...
As a gentleman I vowed not to raised a hand against a lady. Women are beautiful. Moreso than men. I... think it's more okay to beat the crap out of a guy than out of a woman?
Okay, you know what, I'm not very good on translating my own thought process into words. What the hell was I saying earlier? Can I have the next question?
Hmm, maybe there's no point in grilling you so hard. You're only a boy, after all. "Your thoughts on world domination?"
Never thought about it.
"How long have you studied combat with the scythe?"
I NEVER study!
"Is it your prefered weapon?"
It's the weapon I've used the most, although I don't know whether I'd call it my preferred weapon. I'm okay with using other weapons too.
Anon wants to know "lol ur naem is fapp do u do it a lot"
Hahaha, yeah I do. I expected this question sooner or later.
...OKAY, I so wasn't expecting you to admit to that.
Moving swiftly on, Panda of the Twilight has some humdingers for ya! "What color are your panties?" (...Apparently everyone gets asked this...)
I'm not wearing anything under here right now. They're in the wash.
OKAY, THIS IS GETTING A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME. Let's move on!
...Wait, you only have one pair of underwear?!
I have a few. But when you're travelling a lot you'll use them all up eventually. I usually have to use them around 3 times each. The normal way, inside out, then flipped - just to reassure myself.
But it doesn't feel so bad like this either. I should have thought of this sooner...
To quote the internets - TMI, TMI, TMI!! Curse the inherently inquisitive nature of an interviewer! "Does your stomach ever get cold?"
What, yours doesn't?
"why do you expose it so much?"
It's comfortable.
"Who would you date in the order?"
I don't have anyone in mind. All the women I've met so far either dislike me or are taken by a certain combat instructor. Not that I had eyes on her either, mind.
Ah yes, tell us what you think of him. And the other leaders, for that matter. These must be the closest to teachers you've ever had, right?
I think I've had closer teachers. These teachers barely talk to me.
As for what I think of Jessie, I'd like to fight him one day and see whether he's really as good as they say.
Uh oh. Somehow I don't think I'd reccommend it. Back to Panda's questions - "Favorite food?"
Beef, or sweet stuff,,, or any pastry with cinnamon in it.
"Cake or pie?""
I've been asked this question before, and I answered cake back then, only because I hadn't had pie before... but I choose pie now. It's awesome.
"What do you do in the order?"
...
Good question...
What DO I do in the Order?
"Why can't you bust down a door?"
Who said I was the one busting down the door?
Oooh, cryptic. StormDawn has some supercalifragilistic questions, too! "INnie or outie?"
Err... *checks* ... innie.
May I interject quickly and ask just how you got stuck on that anchor?
I was trying to dislodge it, but I ended up falling with it.
Fascinating stuff! "what kind of glasses are those?"
Umm... for my astigmatism? I wear contacts too, but that's for my short-sightedness.
These questions really push the boundaries, huh? "isn't the tophat a little outdated?"
Aren't robes a little outdated?
Oooh, I think you'll have a few hundred Gaians and interdimensional interlopers mad at you for that. "Don't you think a scythe is a bit less practical than most other weapons?"
I wouldn't say that. It has a nice range, it's good for disarming people and my scythe has a bladed whip at the end for those further away targets.
I like it cos' I can end battles fast with this. Most people won't believe this, but I'm a pacifist.
...Yeah, wow. How can you say that when violence is obviously such an important part of your life? The Priestesses are the true pacifists of the Order, from what we've seen - they refuse to engage in violence of any sort, loathe and avoid it wherever possible.
I like to spar, because it's all in good fun, but fighting a person seriously without a cause is something I dislike doing.
I try my best to restrict myself to fight only for self-defense or to protect someone else. You don't see me jumping infront of random people and say 'You look strong, let's fight' do you?
...Then why did you just say that you'd love to fight Jessie? Isn't that a "You look strong, let's fight" thing?
I'm sure you've sparred with him already in your training, so why would you want to take it any futher, hearing what you've just said?
I've never sparred with him before. I said I'd like to fight him one day but I never said I was going to just do it out of thin air...
It's... a...
Errmmm...
Well, occasionally some people want to test their abilities... right? *nervous laugh*
But I do stand firm on the fact that I am a pacifist. Not a diehard pacifist, but a pacifist nonetheless.
I don't understand your logic. You've just completely contradicted yourself. And there's no such thing as a "diehard pacifist" - you're a pacifist, or you're not. There isn't really any room for proportionality on the statement 'I believe it's never right to use violence or kill.'
...I'd say you haven't thought this whole "ethical code" thing through very well, huh? Not with this, nor the "chivalry" thing.
A pacifist is a person who dislikes violence, right...? I just kinda thought of it that way til' now.
Basically I don't really know how to put my morals into words and I'm just choosing the words that... seem the most similar...
I'm really bad with words, see... *nervous laugh*
To clarify, a pacifist is a person who believes that it's NEVER right to use violence under any circumstance. Maybe you could do with a Common dictionary, as opposed to a German one...?
I apologise for the grilling, I just couldn't let the wooliness on your personal codes go unquestioned a second time! It's not in my nature!
*looks depressed* Ah, is that so...
It's quite alright - you have many years ahead of you in which you can form more coherent and researched moral laws!
Hoo boy, looks like we're in for more ethical debate, though. "Just how homophobic are you?"
There's a rating for homophobia?
I'm not quite sure where the questioner drew it from. Are you homophobic?
Yep.
...May I ask why?
I just am...? I think it started from a dislike but it kinda got more severe I guess.
Yyyyyeah, I hope the coming years lead you to doing some SERIOUS re-evaluations of your - frankly - fluffy ethics. "How old are you that you have no hair on your tummy?"
o_o *blank look on his face*
To finish us off, do you have any ambitions for the future?
Huh? That's all the questions already...?
I wish to become a world renowned artist, I think? And I want to change the way this world thinks... where money and status is and everything.
Any messages you'd like to give to anyone?
Uhmm... I don't know... how would a person usually respond with this question?
It hardly matters. I suppose I just wanted to see if you'd send a shout out to that secret girlfriend of yours.
Wish I had a girlfriend... *nervous laugh again*
I'm sure you'll get there eventually.
Somehow I pray we don't end up under any world order of yours. Thank you all the same!
Well, that was would-be visionary Bapp, whose top hat has obviously been clenched too tight for too long! Stay tuned for more interviews with the BOOrethren!
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Interview Concluded on Sunday 31st January 2010!
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Interview Concluded on Sunday 31st January 2010!
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