And, at Cheerful's idea, and boredom, I wrote the Presidental Conspiracy! I may continue it... >.> But, I didn't egg him on like I was supposed to. Damnit.
Megan was laying on the couch, absentmindedly staring at the TV, when suddenly, the news with a 'Special Report' flashed on the screen. The TV reporter spoke,
"Big news! Daron Malakian nominated for President. He is running against...Hillary Clinton."
Megan stared at the TV, blinked and immediatly screamed,
"What the hell!? Daron?! System of a Down's Daron?! This, I have got to see!" She then ran down to the Light Rail station and bought a ticket to DC. It was only a 40 minute train ride, and, she would travel all around the world to see Daron! When she arrived in DC, the streets were filled with people. Some were holding signs with presidental slogans, others with the canidate's face... and some signs at stupid random stuff on it. Megan looked over to the stage. Surronding it were body guards, reporters, and cameramen. Then, on the stage, she saw Hillary Clinton at one podium, and Daron at another. Megan caught a glimpse at Serj, Shavo, and John, who were backstage, cheering him on. Megan looked at Daron and tilted her head...
Wow. He looks strange in a suit and tie.
She thought to herself. Then, an old guy appeared on stage. He raised his hands and said,
"Let the presidental speeches begin. Canidate one...Hillary Clinton, you may speak first."
Hillary smiled and began to speak. Then, someone threw a beer bottle at her.
"Shut the hell up, you old windbag! Let the true genius talk!" The whole crowd erupted into screams, and a riot broke out. People began hitting eachother, cussing eachother out, and even smacking people with their signs. Then, the police stepped in, with the rubber bullets and tear gas. Megan, not wanting to be gassed, jumped onto the stage and dashed backstage. She ran, then slammed into somebody. Dazed, she looked up and saw Serj. Shavo and John were standing behind him.
"What's wrong, kid? You look like you've just escaped death!" Serj asked. Megan stood up and brushed herself off.
"No, not death, but rubber bullets and tear gas. I bolted, trying to escape by jumping on the stage, and then, slamming into you. I'm sorry, by the way."
Serj smiled.
"It's ok. You didn't mean to. You were trying to escape the unnescessary force those pigs are using."
Megan nodded.
"And, I have one question," Megan asked, "Why is Daron running for president? He dosen't seem like the 'presidental type'"
Shavo gave me a goofy smile.
"I don't know, but, he sure would be one messed up president. Imagine a whole world where drugs are legal. And, I mean all drugs."
Serj rolled his eyes,
"She asked 'why', not, 'what if'. Anyway, he was so pissed at the state of this country, that he one day says,
'Hey, what the hell! I'm a legal US citizen, and stuff. I'll run for president!' And, that is why we're here today."
John then said,
"Hey! Come on! Daron is getting ready to make his speech! We can't miss this!"
Shavo ran over to the edge of the curtains, eager to hear Daron's speech, while Serj walked next to me.
"So, what's your name, kid?" He asked.
"My name is Megan, and I already know who you guys are! System of a Down. You're Serj, and John and Shavo are waiting to hear Daron's speech!" Serj nodded.
"Yes, that's right. Now, let's watch this speech."
Shavo interrupted,
"Prepare to laugh your a** off!"
Then, Daron began his speech.
"Hello, people of the United States. First off, I am ******** pissed at the state of this country! So, I really want to make this country...great. So, um, yeah." The whole crowd burst into cheers as if he had just made the greatest speech this nation has ever seen. Then, an interviewer raised his hand to speak.
"Mr. Malakian, what do you plan to do if you win the election?"
Daron blinked at the question,
"First, don't call me 'Mr. Malakian'! My name is DARON! And, second, um, I dunno, do the a** Dance in celebration?" When he said this, the crowd was filled with more cheers, and some women threw their undergarments on the stage. He walked off the podium and picked up a pink thong with a bow on it.
"Who threw this?! Because, you aren't getting it back!" He said, putting it in his pocket and walked back to the podium. The interviewer then asked,
"What laws do you intend to pass?"
Daron's face filled with a goofy smile.
"Drugs. Because, this country is full of sick people who need them. Like me. I'm sick, sick of having all these drugs being illegal! Drugs made me what I am today. And, everyone loves me! You're just jealous of me!"
There was another booming cheer from the audience. Then, someone said,
"Shut up, Daron. You make no ******** sense."
Daron's eyes widened, and he walked off the podium.
"Excuse me, will whoever said that walked up on the stage...?"
Then, some guy walked up on the stage. Daron walked over, and punched the guy in the jaw, knocking him backwards off the stage. Then, Daron ripped off his tie, shirt, pants, boxers, and shoes, and throw them into the audience. A riot broke out, and he walked back over to his podium.
TO BE CONTINUED...maybe
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