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 Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 7:50 pm
Than-
Wait...ladies and gentlemen, we now have a special caller on the line. Wally West is on the phone to clarify something about his event. Mr. West, welcome to Kapow Action News.
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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 7:55 pm
Oh man, that took FOREVER....
Hey Lana, Wally here. I just wanted to let you know that your source is full of....can I say crap on the air? Well, let's say he's full of MISINFORMATION and leave it at that...
Chris Powell is not only invited to participate in our little dress-up swap, I personally invite him and ENCOURAGE him to join. I mean. I don't have anything against the guy. But I think that Doctor Midnight could dress him better-and he's blind.
Thanks Lana.
*hangs up*
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Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:07 pm
Well, thank you for the correction, Wally West! Chris Powell is encouraged to join due to his fashion...problem.
In other news, the economy of the Nexus is on the upswing after the destruction caused by the Negative Three. Both the Bistro and Lantern's report record sales.
In sports, the announcer for the Nexus Baseball League, J Jonah Jameson, will be hosting a new sports talk show. It will air on HMO, Home Movie Office, and will include guests from the NBL and fans as well. The first episode will include the four managers of the NBL teams and ....is this right? Um...John Constantine. Should be interesting.
That's all for Kapow Action News. This is Lana Lang signing off. And remember...if it matters to you then it matters to us.
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:52 pm
The music starts and an actiony theme kicks in.
Welcome to Kapow Action News with your anchor, Lana Lang, and ace reporter, Lois Lane.
Good evening, it's June 25th and this is Kapow Action News. All Nexus news, all the time.
Our top story is a warning to all citizens of the Nexus. Drura Sepht, AKA Infectious Lass, has been spotted in the area. Although Ms Sepht is part of the Legion of Superheroes, Kapow Action News is passing along a warning to all of our viewers. Ms Sepht's powers consist of spontaneously creating infectious diseases in people. Citizens are asked to take preventative medical care in case they happen upon Ms Sepht to prevent a pandemic. We reiterate that Ms Sepht is a hero and will not infect anyone on purpose but we are advising caution nonetheless.
Now we go to ace reporter, Lois Lane, with a special report.
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:04 pm
Thank you, Lana.
Tonight, we have an update to the Betty Banner situation. In our previous broadcast, we had reported that Mrs. Banner had turned into a digital computerized form of herself. Shortly after that, after having a patch installed by Hank McCoy, Mrs Banner turned into a blue, furry version of Professor McCoy himself! Apparently, a portion of his DNA became intertwined with her "program coding". Following yet another patch, Mrs. Banner turned into a full android. Fortunately, Professor McCoy administered yet another patch which turned her into herself. Rather, a version of herself. We've been getting reports that she is easy to anger lately and when that happens, she turns into a version of She-Hulk. Since Mrs. Banner hasn't much experience with this sort of transformation, she has trouble reverting to her usual form and must be completely relaxed before doing so. In a somewhat related story, Mr. Bruce Banner has transformed as well. It appears he has the body of The Hulk but has retained his mind. Kapow Action News attempted to gain an interview with the science-loving couple but was blown off in favor of "house hunting". We wish them all the best.
In other news, Christopher Alice Powell has been acting rather stangely as of late. Much stranger than usual, even. He has been seen wearing a trench coat and trying to hide. In the Bistro, just days ago, I heard him confess that his armor killed the Empress of the Shi'ar, Lilandra Neramani. This has caused him to be pursued by Havoc and Gladiator. Mr. Powell insists that it was the armor and not he that was to blame. As is typical, Mr. Powell refuses to officially comment or agree to an interview. We will, of course continue to pursue this matter.
For my last story tonight, we've been getting reports that a Mr. Querl Dox has been seen again in the Nexus. He has been talking about time travel and appearing to be concerned with chronal abnormalities. Mr. Dox also claims to have traveled a few months into the future. Is this a precursor of things to come? We'll continue to follow this story as it develops.
Lana, back to you!
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:09 pm
Assassination? Quite the story you uncovered there, Lois.
In other news, Wade Wilson continues to heavily promote his reality show, Super Drama Island. We remind our viewers that Kapow Action News will have first hand coverage of the whole show thanks to Mr Wilson's invitation.
That's all for Kapow Action News. This is Lana Lang signing off. And remember...if it matters to you then it matters to us.
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Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:47 pm
My healing factor will protect from her. stare
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Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:43 pm
The music starts and an actiony theme kicks in.
We interrupt your local programming to bring you think breaking news bulletin.
Good evening. Tonight we are warning citizens of the Nexus to stay home as mutating viral infection has struck the Nexus. The virus leaps from person to person, mutating and giving each new host a totally different disease. We can't confirm how many people are infected and who is infected with what yet but....WHAT THE HECK!?
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Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:46 pm
*pushes his way on screen*
Move over, bub, I got some breaking news. Today I was doing my usual patrol of...well, everything when I got jumped by Hand ninjas and Hydra agents. I mean...what's that all aboot, eh? Did what I did best and them down but you schlubs need to be on the lookout. Now you can back to reading whatever crap you were reading, lady.
*stomps off-screen*
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Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:49 pm
Can't we Wolverine-proof this place?!? I can't work like this! Just stay inside people! I know I am!!
The screen fades to black.
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Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 10:43 pm
*cuts open a wall with his claws and broadcasts*
Listen up....since that news lady is too afraid to tell you what's goin on then I'll have to! HYDRA is tryin to infiltrate this place. Stay on your toes, people!
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Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:13 pm
The music starts and an actiony theme kicks in.
Welcome to Kapow Action News with your anchor, Lana Lang, and ace reporter, Lois Lane.
Good evening, it's July 2nd and this is Kapow Action News. All Nexus news, all the time.
Our top story is the resolution of the mysterious illness that wreaked havoc across the Nexus. The virus mutated repeatedly, infecting various citizens with various diseases. Here is the rundown:
-Wally West
virus: THE MAX
-Nick Joseph Fury
virus: teh ghey
-Remy LeBeau
virus: Liefelditis
-Clarice Ferguson
virus: Deffiantosis
-Wade Wilson
virus: OFS (Overzealous Fanboy Syndrome)
-Chris Powell
virus: Wolverinitis
-Melaka Fray
virus: Otakusis Inuyashys
-Karen Starr
virus: LOLcatitis
-Ricochet Rita
-virus: Dworkinitis
The various illnesses cleared up a few days with the most dammage seeming to done to some HYDRA agents and the appearance of Wolverine just about everywhere.
Next up is our ace reporter, Lois Lane with our exclusive coverage of Wade Wilson's Super Drama Island! Lois?
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Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:24 pm
Thank you, Lana. In other news, Mr. Wade T. Wilson has started his reality show, Super Drama Island which is already true to it's name and causing ... DRAMA! The contestants are divided into two teams. The Whining Wolverines team consists of: -Doreen Green GLI -Remy_LeBeau -Zachary T Paleozogt -The Incredible Hercules Missing in Action for the Wolverines is Chris Kent. The Loopy Lobos team consists of: -[Gothic_Lolita] -Patience The Magdalena -Ms. Clarice Ferguson -Chris Powell The first challenge, as issued by Mr. Wilson. *a clip of Wade Plays* Quote: Well, we're still missing two players, and I don't feel like holding up the gam for them. if they show up, they show up. They won't be voted off, but they also can't help with the challenge. And this challenge is a BIG one! High above our heads in geo-synchronous orbit are two Nerf Brand Meteors, which will be hitting home in exactly three days! Where’s “home?” Well, SDI, of course! They won’t do any real damage, but they’ll sure be annoying! This is a group effort, which means you’ll need to form a plan, and one person will roll the needed dice (one for each player) to execute it. The target number is 7 for both teams. Two bonus points will be given out for creative planning. The team with the most successes wins immunity. Who will win? Who will cheat? Already there has been some rumbling about voter fraud but it seems to be all a part of the game. We'll follow events as they progress. Lana, back to you.
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Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:35 pm
Thank you, Lois.
That's all for Kapow Action News. This is Lana Lang signing off. And remember...if it matters to you then it matters to us.
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Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 8:09 pm
The music starts and an actiony theme kicks in.
Welcome to Kapow Action News with your anchor, Lana Lang, and ace reporter, Lois Lane.
Good evening, it's July 5th and this is Kapow Action News. All Nexus news, all the time.
Our top story this evening is Super Drama Island and the first challenge. The two teams were faced each deflecting one giant meteor hurtling towards the island.
In an exclusive, Kapow Action News was granted exclusive camera footage of the planning stages.
Film begins to roll of each team planning their solutions.
The Wolverines wanted to toss Hercules with a slingshot at their meteor to destroy it. The Lobos were going to use Clarice Ferguson to teleport their meteor away to some safe location.
Let's see how each team did...we now go on location to our own Lois Lane with results of the challenge! Lois?
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