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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHXXZwfGrP4&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7uZPzEZh2s

Lyrics to the song:

I love you like kings love queens,
Like a gay geneticist loves designer jeans,
I need you like New Orleans needs a drought,
Like Hitler's Father needed to learn to pull out,
And I want you, yeah, like a Lawyer/Mathematician wants some kind of proof,
And I want you, yeah, like JFK wanted a car with a roof,
Because...

Love is taking that dive, then getting really comfortable and peeing in the pool,
And love is a real life porn, minus all the stuff that makes porn cool,
And love is a homeless guy searching for treasure in the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and even though he's heart broken, he can't complain because he was hungry in the first place...

Because I love you like Dora loves maps,
Like the pope's toilet loves, holy craps... (that's a little one)
I need you like a voyeur needs a branch,
Like boys tossing salad needs a little bit of Neverland Ranch,
And I want you, yeah, like all the gothic kids that look exactly the same, never want to conform
And I want you like Anne Frank... wanted nobody to read her ******** diary
(Because a diary is a collection of secret things that nobody's supposed to read, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people that have breached this little girls privacy after she was chased by Nazis... kick her while she's down)

And if we met in 10, 000 BC, I was your caveman, yous my cavelady...
If we got hot, we'd start rubbin'
If we got hungry, we'd go clubbin'
There's wooly mammoths, I'll protect us, you're makin' me devolve to a homo erectus, ******** if we met in 1780, I would be a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark-skinned servant lady... slave
Whenever I could get away from the Missus,
I go to your she'd then I'd steal you kisses,
But let's be serious, I'd still work you full-time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and complete disregard for socio economic trends
If it was 1941, I was a Nazi, yous a Gypsy on the run, that's a little redundant
That... probably wouldn't have worked out...
Because...

Love is your favorite food for every breakfast, lunch and dinner
And love is the Holocaust, if you don't die quick and you don't get thinner
And love is being the owner of the company that makes rape whistles
And even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't want to reduce it at all cause if the rape rate declines then you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales...
Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles?

Yeahhhh, love is all about... Whistles. Thank you.

[Talking to Audience]

Yeah, that one was a bit vulgar, but ah ya know, dicks and vaginas are sorta like Coke and Pepsi, ya know? Ah, I strongly prefer one, but my Dad thinks they both taste the same.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn2QXfT-mH8&feature=related

Lyrics:

Now I don't know if all boy scouts are gays
But they could probably "tie the knot" in like fifty different ways...
I got a safe full o' cherries, cause I pop it and lock it,
A girl's like a fridge, once a week you should stock it,
And girl, if your into a rimmin it's only safe if your swimming,
And girl don't sit on the couch cause I treat my objects like women.
I spit fire like I just blew a demon
My shits so hot I leave your toilet bowl steamin
I'm gonna tarot like the cards of the gypsies
You'll bleed for so long you'll get monthly ellipses.
If your pants are loose, I'll re-pleat ya.
You're a first time veagan and it's nice to meat ya

I'm bo yo
I'm the greatest rappa eva
And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not
Think your better your not
Don't need a sweater I'm hot
I'm a real G shawty that can really find your g spot

What the hell's a g spot?

Go to a
v****a orchard, count 1, 2, 3
Spin that plant around you got a third whirled c**t tree
That's right, consider yourself warned
I'm offensive and creative like handicapped porn
Your playing with your breasts, excuse me, can I try it ma'am?
Your pushin em together like a titty Venn Diagram
Look at that CRACK excuse me can I buy a gram?
Right below your diaphram, a** looks like your hidin ham.

First base, were making out
Second base, I'm getting faked out.
Third base, I'm getting take out
And I'd try to take it home if I knew I'd take it out
But I just don't know I said I just don't care I said
My flos so cold I need a tampon from a polar bear
And you can spell and smell my stink
B.O. lingers and it makes you think

Cause I'm bo yo
And I'm the greatest rappa eva
And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not
Think your better your not
Don't need a sweater I'm hot
You got two eyes, only got one shot. yeahh.

Yo,
Cause girls are like donuts when I be bustin bo nuts,
I can make em cream-filled or give them a layer of glaze
I'm like doug's friend Skeeter whenever I meet her.
Casue I skeet her so hard people call her Patty Mayonnaise.
YO, My girl is epyletic cause she's the one I'm jerkin with
Common you asian child labor show me what your workin with
OOO large machinery

Cause there's an inverse relationship between respect and sects
I'm talking bout religious sects like a mormon sect
That says you can't have sex with members of different sects, but you can't Have sex with members of the same sex
So if the sects can't be different, the sex can be same, then the only sex Left is some left hand shame
And girl I left you cause u left the game and if that don't feel right then u Can write my name

Cause I'm bo yo
I'm the greatest rappa eva
And I'll weather your weather whether you think your better or not
Think your better your not
Don't need a sweater I'm hot
And if I can't think of another rhyme then I ought,
To think of one.

Yeah write this down man.
Yo, yo

Look pass the skin and look to the lyrics
I run miracle circles around you like spherical lyrics
This isn't about ironic pigment
If you're imagining this then I'm a chronic figment.
Yeah.

Feel it ready.

Man, my junks so long that it hangs and swings, so at the nude baech people Think I'm lookin for lost rings
Play the skin flute Your big boy sings and if you want to take it all wear African neck rings.

Oh,
Come on
Haters call me gay, but that aint hatin
Cuase I'm not homophobic, my morals are straight and
If I'm in the closet then you are blow me
Takin the b-a-t out of basement, homey


spells semen

Yo, cause I'm bo yo

funny and cleaver songs lol xd

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.

Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."




A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...

'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."

So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"

A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about p***y, and their b***h. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. "Mom", the boy asks, "What's a p***y?"

The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says "Son, that is a p***y." the son then asks "What's a b***h?" The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says "Son, this is a b***h."

The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says "Dad, what's a p***y?" The father doesn't want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the v****a and says "Son, this is a p***y!"

The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks "Then, what is a b***h?"

The dad replies, "That's everything outside the circle!"






This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why don't we get it on, eh?" She replies, "I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the night before." So the husband agrees and rolled back over and started to go back to sleep.

A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks, "You don't by any chance have a dentist's appointment tomorrow, do you?"







A woman and her little boy were walking through a park in New York and they pass two squirrels having sex. The little boy asks his mom, "Mommy, mommy, what are they doing?" The lady responded, "They're making a sandwich." Then they pass two dogs having sex and the little boy again asks what they were doing. His mother again replied they were making a sandwich. A couple of days later the little boy walks in on his mother and father and said "Mommy, Daddy, you must be making a sandwich because, Mommy has mayonnaise all over her mouth!!!"

the leader of are guild just had his b-day yesterday so to show my appreciation I am posting this funny birthday song^^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej1ylPIk44o