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 Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 11:18 pm
"I know. I jsut want him to suffer like me. I feel empty inside in complete because I don't know why I lost that day. I don't even remember what I used to be like before I met you and Alex. I just want to know who I really am," said Kinnara.
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Posted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 7:59 am
Aurora frowned and held the boy close, "your not the only one.." he muttered thinking about his own obscure past, and all his disturbing dreams he had a feeling were somehow tied with his past.
"I would just worry about finding out your past. That should be your primary focus." Aurora stated with a bit of a sigh. though he wondered if the past was best left undiscovered.
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Posted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 9:26 pm
"Don't worry I will. When we get a chance would you want to come with me to go find that damn rat and take revenage on him with me and help me find out who i might have been in my past?" asked Kinnara to Aurora with a little bit of a smile.
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Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:35 am
Dear Journal,
I guess for once I am actaully going to write down my feelings. My feelings for Aurora. Though looking at myself I think if Auro realy want me. I am just boy. I am not a man like he is now. Though I wish I were. Not like it matters. Many times I wonder what would make Auro happy though with my age i doubt I could make him happy. God I sound so emo writting this down. I do Love Auro but I wonder if he truely loves me. Me the cat. The cat that is cursed to forever be not excepted by anyone.
Speeaking of cats. Lately the fable world becoming more filled with cats. Not like that is a problem but I feel like I have lost my originallity. I know there is a young girl and a purple cat. Purple cats are scary let me tell you. I know I have other boy fables coming after me as well wanting love.
Now a bit off what I have been writing thus far....that damn rat. That rat left me to waste away in the hell hole of a world. It like I can't do anything write. I can make my love happy and I believe sooner or later I will lose him to another. I am alway forgotten in a way. If I ever see that rat I want him to suffer as much as I have suffered. I just wish that for once I would win and be the joy of success.
Lately I feel that Auro is becoming more and more distant from me and been hanging around other women. Not like I am being cling. Though that is what I sound like I am being. It just causes me to feel worthless or not needed to keep him happy. I just want Auro happy.
That night he had come to my apartment. He was different. Taller and older. Now I am the little kid of the relationship. He confessed his love for me but I could feel tense he was. It was like he felt guilty for like a little boy though, Alex my mother would say no get that pervert out of here, and don't touch my son. Well at least something along to those lines. I just wished I knew what was bothering him so much. I just hope Auro comes back. Maybe I can make up for being a kid and show him I will be there for him no matter what happens to either of us.
Well I guess I have talked for plenty of time. Until next time.
~Kinnara
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Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 8:44 pm
Dear Journal,
Hey it is me again. I guessing that things are going to get hecktic with the whole metalplot event that is going on, though i have no idea when I will need to start in the event for myself. I know Auro is starting his "I will protect the princess," act for the event.
On the bright side my mother got my an Ipod. Though at first i wasn't sure how to use it. I read all the direction. It was a bit confusing; I had to download two new programs, iTunes and Quickworks. A pain let me tell you. I put a lot of Jpop on the mp3 player. I favorite song right now is Redemption by Gackt from Dirge Of Cerberus and *astrick* by orange range.
Also mom might take me to Yaoi Con here in California where we are living right now. She is finishing up parts of her costume. She is going as Gaku Namikiri. Me I going as myself though i would proubley be mistaken for a fruits basket character.
Also just to let everyone know my mother will be making a story based off of me and auro. Which is going to be so much fun.
Well I will shut up now,
Kinnara.
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 10:59 pm
Kinnara late Night Nightmares
Kinnara tossed and turned in his sleep. It wasn't as if he was being chased by a demon or anything but more like he was chasing after someone. Someone who face couldn't see but her knew who it was. Someone he greatly missed. Kinnara wanted to hold hiim and smell his hair and touch him one more time. Aurora. He missed him. He would have the same dream over and over again.
It would start off as an average pinic. He and Aurora would eat out under the hug oak tree. Sometimes Kinnara would give Aurora bites of his food like the cherry pie or his sandwich. Very normal. People would pass by on their bikes and wave at them. Kinnara would give a faint waves and go back to trying to feed Aurora his food. They laugh and smile together.
Then it would get dark. Very dark. Thunder clouds would roll in. The wind would pick up and Kin's ear's flatten. He would close his eyes and the reopen them to find Aurora gone. He stand up and look about as the wind blows away the food and everything. "AURORA! Where are you," yell Kinnara.
Kinnara in a few brief moment would see Aurora with another person. A woman who he could not figure out. Tears would pour from his eyes at this point. "You left me alone! You take my heart and leave me to suffer," he would yell in anger in his dream.
Then silience he was left alone and the one being he hate in all the world would appear. That damn rat.
"You know Kinnara just cause we are enemies doesn't mean I don't love you. Though you are a pathetic creature. You and I are the same but you are weaker not needing to exsist. You can not experience love. And you may not feel wanted by anyone. Even your own self rejects you. You are the cat and don't forget that," he would say with a snakish tongue. He would then give him a deep kiss. Kinnara would resist and wake up. He was dripping in sweat.
He press his left palm against his face and start to cry. It was a very soft cry that he was going to be alone for all his normal life.
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 6:07 pm
Dear Journal,
I have been thinking for a while. And even though I am a kid I feel I have grown in the last couple of weeks. Though I am still stuck in the 13 year old body. Maybe pushing Aurora away from me would prevent me from getting hurt by him or my own feelings. Maybe some day I will meet someone out there for me. Pssh. What am I talking about. There is no one for me. Not in this life. Aurora proubley looks at me and sees nothing. I guess I am envious and jealous of Mediene and him. Though many time I wish I could get the same attention from Aurora that Mediene gets. My heart hurts at night and I cry myself to self. Often mother wander why I seemed so depress I just shrug it off and walk away. I am just a cat with no one to love. I often wish that someone would care for me, maybe I am being to selfish. A little.
Sometimes I feel that my role in life is to get the short end of the stick not really getting any happiness in return. Maybe I should talk to Mediene but that might end in a bad way . Not like anyone would care. It seem I am running out of choices. I know when I last talk to Briar I did it as what I am the cat. I told him I would help him protect those around us. I must have been an idot. I want to be with Aurora. Damn. Why can't every thing be easy like it was before Briar grew up. I remember how scared he was and would often stay with me. I miss that. Maybe that is when my heart became unfrozen from his icey prison.
Lately more fable have been appearing. Some on them are okay. Maybe some time in the future i can talk to Riddle because he seemed like a good hunting partern. Yeah, that way I can go hunting for that damn cursed rat. Apieka seems to be getting more lost everyday. I think he is similar to me. Disliked and stained by our past. Can any hope come from a male on male relationship. I dunno any more. I haven't met any good females. Ure is annoying for getting me wet by the river. I hate rabbits. Too hyper.
.........I just don't know anymore what I want. No one has seemed to care....maybe I should keep to myself hidden from others........not like anyone would care except for my mother.
-Kinnara
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Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 5:42 pm
Aaron Arrikanez On Kinnara's way home one day, he'd find something caught on a fence-post. Or half a something, as it were... What was it? A letter. But only this half remained...  Who was it from? ... And who had the other half? There was one thing for certain.... this was AEKEPI'S handwriting...
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Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 9:01 pm
Over the last couple of month in private Kinnara had been praticing transformation magic. He master the ability to turn from his normal form to his cat form. He found it fun being a cat. A few days ago he recieved a half of note. Over the course of today he was in his cat form and read the letter over and over again. He had the door open to the apartment he and his mother shared together. In his cat form he curled around the letter still trying to figure out what it was trying to say.
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Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 10:57 am
Aurora had to force himself to come. It was one of those things, the awkwardness he wanted to avoid. It had been some time since he had seen Kinnara. His feelings for the boy lingered, but he couldn't bring himself to get rid of them completely. He still cared, but he knwe he hurt the boy deeply. Running his hand over his face he peered at his torn peice of letter.
He needed to talk to someone about it. his mother was out of town for a few days and thus there were not many other people to turn too. Perhaps Kin would be able to figure it out better than himself. When he approached the front of Kin's house he noticed cat. Strange, he didn't remember Kin owning a cat.
Perhaps to stall he squatted down and offered his hand for the cat to sniff. He didn't want to scare the thing.
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Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 11:48 am
Kin in his cat form couldn't resist purring for a moment. He still had not gotten used to the cat fuctions yet. Then he looked up at Auro. His ears twitched about and his tail flickered. He wonder and had yet to try to talk in the cat form yet. Maybe he could. He never tried he was going to. He gave a small cough to clear his throat.
"Hello Aurora," he said. His voices was a bit deeper and sounded older in this form. "What bring you to my house. And why do you smell like strawberries. Nevermind. Would you mind scratching me behind my left ear please?"
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Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 12:06 pm
Aurora started, the cat spoke to him! His hand recoiled for a moment before he gained his bearing. "Oh...hello Kinnara." he replied a bit shocked to see his friend....now a cat. It should really upset him too much right? Medeine could shift form. He didn't know he could do the same. Obeying the request he moved forward again and scratched were Kinnara has asked.
"It's been a while." He commented first. "and i can because of an unusual letter I found. well...half a letter anyway."
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Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 12:10 pm
"Thank you,'he said then quickly went to his room and came back in his normal form."If you look down where I was laying down you can see a half note too. I found while coming home. I still can't figure out what it is try to say."
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Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 9:44 pm
Aurora was a bit confused by Kinnara's more stand offish attitude, but then again could he blame him? He gave a weak smile, "Well it seems that be both found a half of a letter, I suppose if we combined them we can make out what it is trying to say.
He commented and offered Kinnara his half of the said letter.
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:54 am
Kinnara looked up at Aurora's half of the note. then handed him his half. "Well here why don't you put it together and read what it says. It might be important," said Kinnara.
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