OMG I love messing with people! I had some fun with one of the new hires at Subway today... it was hilarious! I still remember it word for word cuz it only happened like 40 minutes ago... So I'll give you the story of the end of my work day.
I walked in the subway with a co-worker of mine named Mike, he's a cool guy but he doesn't know me too well so I did this to kind of show him how my sense of humor works... sometimes. We appraoch the counter and one girl that's been there for as long as I've known about the place asks for our orders. I let Mike go first. As she's making his sandwich someone that I've never seen, in my two weeks of frequent sandwich craving that had taken hold of me since I'd moved here, asks me what I want. Seeing how shakley he was I knew this was one of his first sandwiches... so I decided to screw with him.
"What can I get for you?" He asks.
"Get for me? I beg you, if you can, to create a festival of flavor in my mouth. A sensation laid upon a half loaf of honey oat bread that could fill my heart with joys that my palette could never have brought me without your graceful and skillful guidance." I respond, clearly showing that today I was in quite the poetic mood, which is somewhat rare for me. By this time both the girl that usually makes my sandwich and Mike are staring at me with their mouths dropped in complete wonder and surprise, it was hard for me to keep from laughing.
"O...k...." He responds getting out some honey oat bread and cutting it in half. At this I was surprised I didn't think he'd pick up on my cues so well, of course this ment I had to go on.
"Lay upon this wonderful grain a bountiful supply of shredded fish, thinly but amply spread across the barren surface of the bread. Only then can I taste the wonders of such sweet italian cheeses that you will soon bestow upon me. With a thin extra layer of mayonaise in between the perfectly sliced pieces of provalone cheese my mouth swells with anticipation at the mere thought of sampling the exquisite treat the sweet dairy slices will bring to me." By this time Mike is doing everything he can to hold back his laughter, and I'm somehow having no difficulty of doing so, I think I was just too wrapped up in the moment.
The guy is still hanging on my every word and continuing to pick up all the cues I'm leaving him, he even got the part with the mayo between the tuna and the cheese!
"I can only imagine the luscious wonders my tongue will discover when it reaches the small forest of lettuce and olives. Only to find through this a mountain of cucumbers that have been marinated in vineagar, changing their very essence. I want to go on that journey through my deepest of culinary desires to reach the top of that pickled mountain! The light cover of dressings, the black and white powdered top. I want to feel it in my soul. Give to me this blessing of a feast with a mid sized amount of liquid refreshment in an affordable wager and you shall forever have my gratitude!" I made sure I said the last part with a bit more enthusiasm.
By the time I'd finished my words and looked down from the cieling he began wrapping up my sandwich, it was then that I realized I didn't watch him too much during that last part to make sure he made it correctly.
"Did you want any chips with that?" He asked
"No, thanks." I replied shortly, which caused Mike to break his silence and nearly die laughing.
"That'll be $5.31." He said holding back his smile.
I paid him without a word and gave him a $5 tip cuz if anyone deserved it, it was him.
I left after finally laughing a lot with Mike about it and eating my sandwich, which came out pretty well considering the obscurity of my ordering method.
Well that's my story.... and yes.. that's really what I said. Hope you liked it as much as I did... cuz I'm still laughing about it.
Reply
