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| How intelligent is your band director? |
| genius |
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38% |
[ 45 ] |
| pretty smart |
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29% |
[ 35 ] |
| could be worse |
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17% |
[ 21 ] |
| lacks the intelligence of a potato |
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14% |
[ 17 ] |
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| Total Votes : 118 |
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 Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 10:34 pm
BD~ "Dangit trombones would you please melt grandma's face off. I mean the flutes are starting at her and little pieces of metal is flying, but I want to see her face melt off."
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 1:47 pm
Our marching instructor, hired by our BD, has said some pretty funny things. I can't remember a lot of them off the top of my head, but there're a few we like to quote.
"Looooook at my feeeeet" Said in a sing songy tone.
"Don't make me throw my drumstick. Don't make me throw my ARGGH!" *throws drumstick*
And our BD was standing at the top of the scaffolding one time and a car comes through the parking lot blasting rap music. He didn't know the mic was still on and he turns and shouts...
"TURN THAT $&!# OFF!"
We all died laughing.
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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 8:07 pm
"Come on Trumpets, this is marriage, not death! What? Same thing you say? Yeah I guess so." -Champ
He said that while we were playing Instant Concert at the wedding march part.
After I graduated and then came back to help the band out during marching season, Mr. Bradley somehow managed to compare chicken little and the sky falling to our clarinets, I STILL don't know how he did it.
"One mo' again! One mo' again!" -Mr. Jones.
"OK Reset"
"WATER You DOING?!" (When Champ or one of our other directors promised us a water break after a certain section)
"Hand Check!"
"There are notes on this page I'm sure ... Ah, there they are!" -Mr. Jones.
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 3:11 am
Our band director from last year always told us- "okay that was great, perfect. Go back to the beginning and do it over again" (five times later)
This was on the board while he was there. "98% chance of clouds. 98.5% of wind. 99% chance of thunderstorms. 100% chance you will be marching today."
This year we remembered sets of the show by food, like the cinnamon bun, the cheese wheel, string cheese(lines I think), etc.
Our bd this year when we played I want to rock and roll all night we had to sting. "C'mon guys I know you can sing louder than that." Us: We joined band to play not sing!"
And she stopped us from singing Uhn tiss and Ultimate Showdown because the cheerleaders were getting mad.
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 9:08 am
Our band director is usually funny.
But he said something serious to us at the end of a concert that is so true.
He asked us how we thought we did and he asked us first as an individual and we all were like ehh.. The asked as a band how we did and we all said we did pretty good.
so he said
"Hmm. So your your own worst critic but everyone elses fan."
Which is so true.
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 5:38 pm
I have the same band director as Riven, but here's my favorite saying:
"Percussion....play louder."
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 5:44 pm
I got others:
Okay guys that was perfect now do it better.
For the sake of some people I change the names. "Bret Bret Bret McNavi what are you doing?"
"Okay while the flutes are tweedling over here you trombones blow long and loud here."
And my favorite thing of band camp is when the sections insturctors say "If I get in your way run me over. I almost knocked out the trombone instructor. My slide was literally an inch away from his head.
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 3:34 pm
My band director has said:
"Whoa! Big yellow fish, it works!"
"You are all just so special!" (In a really gay voice.)
"Joy... with a capital J!"
And then there are literally hundreds of band stories he has told from his many years of teaching.
Also the hundreds of times he has called his seventeen year old drum major daughter a prostitute.
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 7:00 am
one of my favoirtes -
one day we were rehearsing, and some kids (about 10-12 yrs old) started throwning water balloons at us. my instructor, who usually doesn't get worked up, screamed-
"ALRIGHT!!! Which one of you little c*cks*ckers just signed your own death warrent???"
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Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 1:32 pm
Director: "You trumpets must play with some more chutzpah! (pronounced 'chootz-pah'.)"
*confused looks from other band members*
*band director cups hands in front of him in attempt to convey his point (disregarding his awful yiddish) to other students*
*a few seconds pass*
Director: "........Anyway..."
Tenor sax girl: "Wait. I don't get it."
Director: *laughs* "It's...........rice." " Yeah......Rice."
sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:29 pm
i have known my BD since i was 5* since my oldest sister was in dance troupe*
-when she first started her favorite saying was "think think think my little pooh bears" mostly to the DL
-*to a trumpeter after asking what his thought on it was*i don't care what your opinion on this is.....are you sure it was good?
-PUT YOUR BALLS ON THE LINE!!!! IF I DON'T SEE THEM THERE I"LL YANK AND PUT THEM THERE!!!*balls of your feet but the band had been talking about perverted topics so incert histerical laughter*
-*to picalos*nice playing... now how about in tune and the right ones?
-*on top of the stands through a bull horn*JOHN!!! WHACK IT!!! BUT PUT LOVE INTO IT!!! *he's one base drummer*
- Mike yes its large and glorious, but put it away!!!!*when we got our new tuba*
-play so the cow can hear you! *at an away festival....4 1/2 hours away,we have a stuffed animal cow as an inspiration for some strange reason*
this happened to me
melissa stand there..now to the left...no my left...no my right ...my reft...wait arg can you not see where you are in my head?
-Blow harder... we need to build up you breath holding ability... i want you to make your heads explode with force.*laugh*...what...whats so fun.....oh shut it you bucnch of perverts *incert non-stop laughter*
untill i think of others
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Posted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:40 pm
these are actually all from colorguard instructor (note-instructor is a guy):
"okay, clean straight ones-middle school, dirty curved ones-highschool" when we were sorting practice flags
"make them throw babies at you! cute babies!"
"you guys need to work on ur body. the judges have been commenting on ur body and it's not good. so fix it." (if u don't get it just stop and read it again..)
"we are not the dawn of the dead colorguard. pick ur heads up"
"i think ur vampires" to whole colorguard
"i bet ur all breaking ur ankles just so u don't have to do run-thrus!!" he was serious...and angry...
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Omnipresent Conventioneer
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 7:59 am
I saw this thread and smirked.
In my band, I started a Quote Book, where you take down the various quotes people say all year, and present them at the banquet at the end of the year.
Our BD has his own page.
“AHHHHHHHHHHH….That was like taking a big bite out of a juicy burger…”
“I’m just making fun of you.”
“You’re not going to quote me, are you?” - What he said when I showed him the notebook.
“Tomorrow, you’re trying on shorts.”
“We’ll take it slow.”
“Can we go faster?”
“…you’re ready….and you go!”
“I used to make fun of people with bald spots…”
“…not because I don’t want to use him, I don’t want to abuse him.”
“…who’s got bass drum?”
“I hear everything”
“E, E, not L, E!”
“As a Band Director, I’m ticked off enough!”
“Are you blowing into the wrong end of the trumpet?”
“We just want to cover our butts…”
“I will make you eat that notebook!”
“’Ugh, she looks purdy.’”
“It’s a bass drum, not a butt drum!”
“Can I just decline being Band Director?”
“I used…..some staples….”
“We brought everything, including the Kitchen Sink!”
"Build a boat! Grab two of everything!"
This was when our band room started leaking in the winter.
That's what I got half way through the year.
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Posted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 11:03 am
BD "It is suposed to be silkey." pauses a secound to think "like takeing a bath in chocolate."
BD "If your early your ontime, if your ontime your late, and if your late your forgoten."
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Posted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 9:02 pm
One morning in band class...
Mr. E. "LISTEN WITH YOUR EARBALLS!!!"
Marching practice...
Mr. E. "Jane, you've got to stay closer to Jouvie."
Jane "But he repulses me..."
We have this really annoying arrogant drummer named Jim Henry whose in JROTC raiders. Well he randomly tells Mr. E. that he's going to raiders and leaves. Mr. E. got mad and was venting to some of the Band Geeks and said...
Mr. E. "He can't come in here and tell me what he's gonna do, especially cause he sucks!" We laughed.
We are a small band with 4 trumpets, however only 2 of us are heard at any given time. That would be my section leader and me who are both girls. The two guys never play or aren't loud enough to fill in breath gaps. So Mr. E. got fed up and said...
Mr. E. "You know what, I think all the girls out here are louder than the guys..."
*cheering from the girls... and Shuan...* "... As for you two, well I can't say it in front of the girls, but let me put it this way... GET SOME"
(If you're slow, he means get or grow some balls) LOL, yes, we laughed.
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