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Getting zOMG artwork is such an awkward task.

Wow, I went to see my advisor and she told me that I'm not a competitive candidate for the program I want to get in. They only take 90 people a year and my one bad semester is coming back to haunt me. ...I might have a chance if I totally overload myself and manage to get all As in the summer and fall classes... but the more classes I take, the less likely I'll be able to get As in all of them. Especially since these are science classes with four hour labs and large amounts of homework, and I do work 40 hours a week. I usually do have large amounts of free time at work, but I've had nights where I've spent the entire shift working, with no free time, because people ******** up so badly during the day and I have to fix it. I can't count on always having the free time.

...I can't decide what I should do. emo

My roommate is making me paranoid. Over the past couple of months, I've gotten to be good friends with a sophomore in another unit in the wing. (Wing is comprised of four units plus staff.) Last night at around eleven, I was talking to him on facebook because his roommate had stolen my personnel "clipboard" earlier and taped it to the ceiling. He found me jumping, trying to reach it, about thirty seconds later, when he came to turn in his unit's accountability sheet, so he was trying to apologize for his roommate's stupidity.

My roommate, of course, comes to the conclusion that one or both of them likes me. Which ordinarily wouldn't bother me at all, I just ignore it and stay friends with people and if they get too close, I get a little standoffish for a couple of days and my opinion on the matter usually becomes quite clear. Only she won't shut up about it- and worse, I actually do sort of like one of them, though I don't think she's caught on to that.

Which, again, wouldn't ordinarily be much of a problem, except that they're a year ahead of me- and both are going to staff next year, meaning they're in my direct chain of command. Which, if the implications of that aren't immediately obvious, basically means entirely off-limits. Just found out over the weekend that they're going to staff.

So basically, I don't know how to shut my roommate up, nor do I know how to stop my own feelings. D: I'm so confused right now, and more than a little frustrated with the whole situation, and don't really have anyone over here I can talk to about it, and I know I sound like an idiot. Wasn't all this crap supposed to be over after high school?

Have I mentioned I'm really bad at being mean? The reason I'm personnel head in the first place is that it means I don't have to yell at freshmen, since I have to track everyone down before formation and figure out where they are. Tracking everyone (especially juniors and seniors) down is rather difficult.

Basically, I'm too nice. I can't find it in me to yell at people, and threatening falls under that as well.

I went to my friend's funeral yesterday I don't remember the last time I cried that much. I still can't believe he's gone the whole time I just wanted him to come out and be like "Just kidding!" and give me a big hug. I'm really going to miss him and his big smile he was always so happy and kind I can still hear him saying "I'll see you later Shy!". I never would have thought that would be the last time I would ever see him alive. I'm so glad I had so many strong friends and family that hugged me and comforted me when I felt like I was going to collapse. I love them all so much.

*Group hug*
heart heart

*makes group hug even bigger* heart heart heart heart