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Heh. Deathly shy. I seriously cannot approach people to start a conversation. I always let them start talking to me. Which means I don't talk much, to people other than my friends. I think I scare people. Something to do with looking mad all the time, I think. It's not my fault, it's my natural expression. Oh, well, I can survive without talking much. I make up for it when I'm with my friends. I babble insanely with people I'm comfortable with. And then I get hyper and start yelling. Or throwing things. Or both! Like today at lunch. It was fun. I got to throw a foil ball at all my friends. Then one threw it at a group of girls, and I was too scared to go get it back. Big groups of girls scare me. Except not in a scared-frightened kind of way, just kind of scared-they-creep-me-out kinda way. So yeah, it was lost forever. No big deal. I'm in a good mood right now. whee Right, did I mention that I'm not only shy, but quiet to go with it? Yeah, I often have to repeat stuff. Way more than I should have to. It's very annoying, but I'm used to it.

Yeah.... My bus ride is always the same. Once in a while, one of my friends is on the same bus, but that's usually only when they're coming to my house. If there's no one for me to talk to, I sit and stare out the window, thinking. Then I get off and think while I walk. The bus I take turns on 26th street, and I usually get off three blocks down, on Stanford, so I get to walk the extra three blocks, plus the last two. And the very last block is up a hill. But it's not so bad, I'm used to it. And the walk home is one of the few time I get to think in complete silence, with no one around me. It's nice. And that's how I get my daily after-school exercise. Which is good, 'cause PE sucks and I have to sit out a lot. Limited courts, ya know? But I like badminton, so I don't mind too much. And here I'm just babbling, and not getting anywhere. Babbling is so much fun. It passes time nicely, don't you think?

Well, it's technically got sport diversity. In ninth grade. AFrom tenth grade on, kids who take PE are in "elective PE," a class that lets you choose a specific kind of theme, I suppose you could say, and go with that the entire year. I'm in net sports, which has volleyball and badminton. Then there's weight training and dance. And swimming is fifth period, but I'm in first period. So, yeah. It's odd. For our swim final, we had to do 18 laps in 20 minutes. I did it in 18 minutes, I think. Wasn't so hard, but I've been swimming since I was little. My old house had a pool. For our last final last year, we had to run a mile, then do a dance. I hate dancing. We had the worst dance out of the whole class. Which doesn't bug me at all, because none of my group liked to dance. I liked PE last year better, though. I had two friends in that class. This year, I have these two girls who talk to me, but one annoys me. So much. She whines ever so much, and then does the exact thing she whines about other people doing it. I hate it when people do stuff like that. Oh, well. The other girl's not so bad. But she has the tendency to call my name out really loudly in the hall and when I'm in my chemistry class. Kinda embarrassing, but not that bad.

THE ANGELS ARE WINNING, THE ANGELS ARE WINNING, THE ANGELS ARE WINNING!! *Cough* Sorry, my favorite baseball team. And the only team I'll ever root for. Even though they're not in the same city as I live in. They're close. And I've been to more of their games, anyways.

On to other topics. I can't, won't, and don't dance. Meh, I preferred how we did PE last year. It was more interesting, and we got to play a bunch of different sports. This year, I only got to play two. I was looking forward to playing tennis, but he decided not to do it. Which sucks. Oh, well. Don't take flute. I tried it, and didn't like it much. Though that might have something to do with the fact that I was in fourth grade, and too lazy to practice. But anyways, I kinda wanna try playing the piano. I could take a class next year during school... but I don't wanna. My schedule's going to be full already. I'm taking seven classes. Well, I will when I get my schedule changed. Eventually. I conveniently "forget" to go to the counselor's office so that I can get a sixth period. I already have AM through fifth, and my dad said that I could take only six periods. Damn it. Monica ruined my plans. She had to take photography, which might or ight not be in sixth period only. Wait a second. There's a girl in my sixth period right now who's in photography. Damn it, so she's taking seven periods for nothing! And I have to, too! Tis is why I told myself I'd never make plans over a month in advance, if they had to do with someone other than me. (I'm keeping that so welll.... Not.) Oh, well, I do kinda wanna take sociology, and this way I can take digital design both semesters. And web page design still, too. Which is good, 'cuase those are the only two periods I really wanna take. The others are all forced or to fill up time. Or both at the same time!

My mom left. She has a raquetball class right now. Oh, look, it's dark out, I need to go shower now. In a sec. I hate when people agree with everything someone says. It's literally impossible to agree with someone that much. Hell, I don't agree with half the things I say! Then again, I come up with arguments about what I'm thinking about. I practically come up with conversations with myself. Though it's more like listing pros and cons of certain things. It's kinda fun. But I end up changing my mind about things because of it. Like there's something I really wanna tell people, but I always talk (think?) myself out of it, because I've had too many people spill my secrets. Even my mom did. I was so pissed off with her when she did. But more so when my sister did, because she didn't even wait 24 hours before spilling one secret that I told her. So now I don't trust people. Wonderful way to live, isn't it? sweatdrop

I wanna scream at all TV show writers and whatever. Why do all season finale endings have to be CLIFFHANGERS?! I hate them. And there were so many things left open at the end of this. Main question: Who the hell was at the door when she answered it?! That's where it ended. And I wanna know! And then I wanna know if Logan jumped off the bridge or not. Probably not, but I wanna know for sure. AGH! Damn it all, now I'm gonna be wondering for the next few months. Which reminds me! The new season of Stargate SG-1 starts in July. I so can't wait.

Anyways, change of topic. If I said what I was thinking, or acted how I wanted to act, I would not only have tons of enemies, but I'd get into so many fights. For me, it's enough to imagine what I'd do if I had no inhibitions whatsoever. I'd yell at so many people for their stupidity. It would be nice.... Except I'd have no friends. Seriously. I have enough trouble keeping friends as it is. I don't think I'm made to keep friends for longer than a couple years. It's a weird pattern with me. I can't keep in touch with people or something. Okay, I really want to yell something like, "What makes you think I care?!" right now. But I won't. Because I bore people with my ramblings, too. Like now. I have to go to bed now, anyways. So see you all tomorrow.

Yeah, I know they are. But I still dislike them. My chemistry class scares me. So much. I was laughnig at something today, and a guy who sits in front of me and in the next row was staring at me and it was weird. When I asked him what, he said he was glad that I was smiling. I was like, "...Okay...." That's the first time anyone has ever told me that. And it was really weird. I hope that no one ever tells me that again. My good day was completely ruined during fourth period. Completely ruined. I was in such a great mood, and then my partner for the essay we were doing wasn't there, and she had the essay. And it was due today. And my teacher won't take late essays. So that means my history grade is completely screwed. From here on out, I'm working on all projects alone. That way I don't have to worry about other people being dumb and not coming to school on the day the project is due. I was so pissed off. So that means that at least 3 of my gradeds are down. English, chemistry, and history. And I'm probably going to do badly on my Spanish project, because I haven't even started and it's due on Friday. So that's four out of six classes that I'll get a B in, probably. Damn it all. Why is the end of the year so awful?

Yeah.... No, he didn't say it weird. It was just weird to me. Like I said, no one's ever told me that before. And I liked it that way. My lowest grade has to be chemistry. I dislike chemistry, and I just can't seem to wrap my head around it. At all. So I get really bad grades on tests, unfortunately. Oh, well. I think I can bring it up some by the end of the year. I hope.