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Mavrick Hunter Zero Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:24 pm
Yes, these are all Demetri Martin Jokes
My friend had a burrito. The next day he said, “That burrito did not agree with me.” I was like, “Was the disagreement over whether or not you’d have diarrhea? Let me guess who won.” “I tried to reason with it, I insisted, you know. I was like, ‘I wanna go outside, I like these pants, but the burrito had his way.’”
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Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 1:06 pm
wahmbulance domokun rofl ^ rofl domokun wahmbulance
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Mavrick Hunter Zero Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 6:17 pm
We where heading to my grandma's hows and I asked "What is grandma like?" So she says “Oh, gradma is a cat person”. When we got there I was disappoined. She's was not a cat-person. She's a cat-liker. If Grandma were a cat-person it’d be like, “So why does grandma never go in the pool? Oh she's a cat-person”.
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Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:31 am
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Lord of the Demonic Flame
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Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 4:50 pm
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Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 5:54 pm
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Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 11:23 am
My grandma has two cats *snigger snigger* 4laugh
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Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 10:55 pm
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Lord of the Demonic Flame
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 11:33 am
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 11:36 pm
I had three cats
I’m excited to be here. I almost didn’t do this show, because I have certain requests in order to do a benefit show. And I said, “I’ll do the show, but I need giant gay icicles behind me or I can’t do it. I work with giant gay icicles or you can forget it.” It worked out, it’s cool, so they make me look cool and a little less gay than the icicles themselves. - melbourne comedy festival
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Mavrick Hunter Zero Vice Captain
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Lord of the Demonic Flame
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:40 am
lol rofl lol rofl
i remember seeing that one on youtube
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 4:52 pm
I heard this lady say “I love kids.” That’s nice, a little weird though. It’s like saying “I like people, for a little while.” “How old are you? 14? ******** off!” You can say “I love kids” as a general statement, that’s fine. It’s when you get specific that you get in to trouble. “I love twelve-year-olds.”
-Demetri Martin
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Mavrick Hunter Zero Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 5:17 pm
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 5:33 pm
Orochimaru is Michael Jackson...he wants little kids for their bodies.
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Mavrick Hunter Zero Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 5:35 pm
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