Lyrca
nowSERENITY
Nah. My record is 63 hours before dropping from exhaustion. Granted, I was younger then, and the person I was living with wouldn't
let me sleep.
Huh. Wouldn't let you? How come?
It was a ******** situation. I've always been a really light sleeper because of my upbringing. When I was a kid, my dad would wake up at like 4-5am for work and immediately go nuts breaking s**t / slamming things / muttering to himself about how the rest of us were s**t. I think I actually wrote it verbatim for a flashback thread I did when David was my main.
Anyway, I used to wake up pre-emptively and make him coffee / breakfast because then he felt catered to and wouldn't start s**t and so my mom and him wouldn't get in a fight, and my sisters would be able to sleep.
But so yeah. I'm a really light sleeper. Slightest sound and I'm up. So I can't sleep next to anybody unless I'm so ******** comfortable, which is rare af. First adult relationship I was in, I was with the person almost a decade. Like eight years. It was a horrible situation but I never wanted to go home so I stayed and put up with really ******** s**t because I felt like it was "better" than dealing with my parents. He was in charge of everything. What I ate and how much and when, who I could see, for how long, with or without supervision, how much I could work, how much of my money I could keep, what I could do with it. All kinds of s**t. Lots of emotional and mental abuse, gaslighting, eviscerated my self esteem, was sexually vicious and warped my perception of that kind of thing for a long time, ******** up my reputation, isolated me from people who could help me, demonized me to his family.
But the worst ******** thing he did was mess with my sleep. Because obv I wasn't comfortable sleeping beside this person, so I'd toss and turn, and he'd "accidentally" knee or elbow me in his sleep, so I eventually got to where I'd just stay very still and lay awake. Sometimes I'd get up and try to sleep in another room, but he'd wake up and track me down to go wherever I was. A couple times I tried to lay on the couch and he'd like lean on me. Just all his weight. Or I remember one time I hid in the closet and braced the door shut with my legs, so he couldn't get in.
At the time of the 63hour thing, he'd been leaning on me / kicking me at night and I was working two jobs / driving my sisters to/from their GED stuff all the time. There was just no rest, ever.
TL;DR: I'm shitty at sleeping, because abusive ******** wouldn't let me sleep.
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