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 Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 4:32 pm
There was something terribly foreboding about those words...
"Do you... want me to stop being a part of your life?"
He would, if she wanted it. It would hurt, to say the very least, but he would leave. Or rather, he would find her a place to stay, or have her live in the house still as someone who was a friend and not his girlfriend. Still, it would be strange and life would be emptier without Raquel.
"I love you, too." Lorey swung her arms around his neck in a hug, slipped on the stairs and landed in his lap practically. More on top of him, but he caught her just the same.
"Well, that hurt..." she said, looking down at her scraped foot.
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 4:42 pm
"No..." She replied simply, moving her hand back to her abdomen. "...I just wanted you to know that." Truth was, she didn't want Damian to feel obligated to stay with her. If he wasn't happy, or if they just conflicted more than they already did, she didn't want Damian staying with her only because he was afraid she'd kill herself or go back to her life of prostitution. She wanted him to be happy no matter what. She didn't want to hold him back.
Richard caught her with a slight blush on his cheeks. "Ah...you're hurt...here.." He picked her up carefully, taking her out of the water entirely, and moving her to a near by reclining lawn chair. He got her a big fluffy towel and looked at her foot. "Do you want me to get something for it?" He asked, hating when she hurt herself, even if it was only a scrape. He was just over protective like that.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 4:52 pm
"Alright, now I know that," he said, with a positive nod of his head. Relief had never come sweeter, he thought. Raquel wasn't breaking up with him in an inflatable raft in his pool out in the yard while Richard and Lorey were right there. Good.
"And you know that, if you ever need help with anything at all, I am right here. For anything. Correct?" Damian propped himself up on his elbow to have a better look at her while they floated along, just talking. They needed to do more of that.
Lorey looked down at her foot. Really, it was only a little scrape and it was bleeding, but not that badly. It made her blush with the way he scooped her up and carried her like a princess, all over a little cut...
"I'm fine, really," she said, looking around. On the wall was a little first aid kit, marked with the universal red cross. "I just need a bandage and I'll be fine!" And so, she stood up to go walk to the box hanging on the wall in the hopes of just getting one nice and quick.
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 5:03 pm
Raquel laid down a bit more flatly so she could look up at him directly. She said nothing for several moments, just looking at him with this vague worry about her. After a bit longer, she smiled a bit, and nodded. "Yea..." She replied with a little cute shrug. 'What if we need help though', she thought to herself.
Richard watched her go, furrowing his brow but smiling. She was adorable and she was his. "You sure you got it?" He called, not being able to help being slightly concerned as she fiddled with the first aid kit.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 5:12 pm
Damian had no idea how to fix this. Absolutely none...
All he could do was lay back on his back to stare at the roof of the awning.
"Yes!" she laughed, giving him a wide smile over her shoulder. "You worry too much..."
Lorey ripped open a small sanitary wipe to pass over her cut, and then simply but the bandage over it. She'd been taking care of herself for so long that she never stopped to think it was hard.
Looking back to Richard, she spun in place before stopping facing him. "See? Good as new, and no worse for wear."
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 5:15 pm
Raquel's smile faded as he leaned back again. She blinked a few times before rolling over on her side to look at him. "...Did I say something wrong?" She asked, slightly confused as she rested a hand on his chest.
Richard smiled, relieved as he stood up more straight, popping his back. "Well, lets take a break for a bit. So you don't get the bandage wet...are you hungry or anything? You haven't eaten breakfast." He laughed a little. "Or are you still too full from last nights dinner?" He asked with a chuckle.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 5:31 pm
"No, no!" he said, shocked she even said anything at all. "No, I suppose I am just shell-shocked from last night... We really had a row, didn't we?"
And he wasn't quite sure if they were alright about it, even if Raquel did have a grand epiphany that she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to.
Lorey walked over to him with a bounce in her step. "No, I am a little hungry. Not much, though. Do you want to head back inside or have breakfast out on the porch?"
Some toast or something small would do for her. Coffee especially since she was tired. They were just so content, how could she ask for anything else?
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 5:37 pm
"...i-...I suppose so..." She said after a moment, laying back on her back while staring up just as he had a moment ago. "...I'm sorry I ruined our evening..." She said softly, looking away. "I seem to do that a lot..."
"As you wish." He bowed with a smile scooping her up in his arms, holding her up like a queen with one arm as he waved to the others. "We're going to grab something to eat, alright?" He called over his shoulder as he carried Lorey towards the door of the screened porch.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 5:43 pm
Damian began laughing nervously, doing the same action of covering his eyes with the heels of his palms for thought.
"See," he said. "That's something you need to stop doing... stop blaming yourself for the entire situation. I am as much to blame as you!"
"Aha!" She had hardly expected for him to pick her up and carry her off yet again. She felt so silly, and wonderful all at the same time...
"A year from now, will you still be like this?" she asked as she avoided getting her knee hit on the doorframe. "Will you still be carrying me off into the sunset, my Richard?"
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 5:55 pm
"For what Damian!?" Raquel snapped a little, sitting herself up and shaking her head annoyed. "For being the man you are!? For simply doing what all men do!? How is it your fault!?" She didn't mean to lose her temper, and actually surprised herself. She didn't even know she was feeling this strongly about it all. ecspecially since she could feel her blood run cold, guessing her eyes were darkening as well. "If you look at it logically, every time we have a conflict, It's my fault at the origin...Damian..." She sighed hugging her arms and looking down and away from him, giving a frustrated sigh. She was mostly frustrated at herself. Her worries were already starting to bubble up even though they had only been simmering for a short while. Maybe she was just frustrated that Damian always worried about the small things, things she usually let go easier...
well not let them go, but at least focus more on the deeper problem that lied behind them.
Richard smiled, sliding her down slightly so he could kiss her sweetly. "I won't stop there...I'd bring the sunset to you if I could." He smiled, turning the tables on her. "How about you though? Will you still look up to me as your savior? Someone to be proud of? Someone you love? not just in 10 years....but how bout 20? 50? how about 100?" He asked, setting her down once they were near the door to head inside, looking her deep in the eye.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 6:07 pm
"And my reactions to you were no help either!" he said with just as much fervor. "honestly, who conditioned you to take all the blame for everything? It's asinine! You are not taking all the blame for this because you simply cannot!" He was strangely thankful for being stranded out in the middle of the pool so they could face this conflict. If they were closer to the edge, he'd be sorely tempted to hop right out.
"Of course... there's no erasing what you did for me, Richard. And who knows, maybe in ten years I won't be any healthier. I did have a pretty malnourished past... who knows what that might have done."
It didn't occur to her how morbid that sounded until after she said it. "But I'm sure we'll both get better and not worse!" she added, heading inside. "And we'll help each other no matter what the case may be."
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 6:17 pm
Raquel shook her head over and over just completely lost. "Damian....good God...." She said quietly, though still with a hint of anger in her voice. "Do you really think this is just about our reactions to a sexual situation?! That we end up feeling emotionally scared and guilty simply because we were fooling around!?" She sat up vehemently, a few angry tears in her eyes. "Damian, we both have had our fair share of affairs and have had no problem when it comes to the little games they played. This goes deeper than that Damian! To the point I don't really believe it has anything to do with sex at all!" Her voice rose to the point of mild shouting as tears began streaming down her angry face. There it was. Her real thoughts on all of this were finally introduced. Whether they would be explained, heard, or understood was another story all together.
At that Richard froze in his tracks, unable to move with that thought paralyzing him. He simply stood in the doorway, watching his Lorey walk off without any problem. But he could just picture her frail and weak and sick...He could picture losing her forever. "N-no..." He said softly. "No!" He stomped his foot like a child throwing a tantrum. "I will not lose you! You hear me!? I wont lose you, I will make sure you're always healthy and happy, and I will protect you from any and all harm!" He said forcefully, glaring down at the ground, his eyes watering up slightly.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 6:23 pm
"Then what does it have to do with?" he asked, nearly shouting himself. "When it comes to my half of the picture, I know that I am terrified of hurting you. You've been through hell and back, sexually, emotionally and physically. What am I to think, that I can't hurt you any more?"
And there was his half of the situation, laid bare as best as he could explain. In the basic sense, he was terrified of her.
Lorey suddenly turned, looking scared. "Richard..." she said quietly, then more frantically, "I didn't mean that I would die! I just meant maybe... I don't know, that I would always... that I might..." She trailed off. She knew what she wanted to say: that she might always be frail and need his help. But it didn't sound right at all, an so it never escaped her lips.
She looked down, with a sad smile. "I've never been strong. I suppose it's just hard to picture anything else, since I never thought I'd get the chance."
Blue eyes looked up with the sad smile now within them. "...please don't be frustrated, Richard. You've already helped me so much, and can only keep doing the same."
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 6:43 pm
Raquel swallowed hard, her eyes locked onto his fierce ones, unable to look away despite how bad she wanted to. "...Y-you're scared...?" She spoke softly, her brow furrowed but her eyes never leaving his. And somehow he just confirmed yet demolished all her fears and worries about them not being a good match for each other. She wasn't sure what to say...She was confused. She just kept looking at him, hoping his harsh eyes would give her the answer. Though she could only take so much before it hurt too much. She finally broke from his gaze, staring down at the floor of the raft. "...That just...That just proves it Damian." She looked back to him, only now her tears were from sorrow not anger. "I don't want you to be afraid of touching me, of loving me...but I can see why you are..." She swallowed again, her throat tightening up. "It's because I've been through hell in all those ways....I'm not fit for a healthy relationship. Not now." She seemed so confused and hurt. "And dont you dare say I'm not! Admit it Damian, at one point or another, you wondered how mentally stable I was!? If I was in my right mind at all!" She was breathing heavily now, thinking back to one of the many unstable times she had with him. She knew then Damian must think she's crazy, and hell, she thought and still thinks she is. Even the Amarathian in her told her he had at one point thought so. She just looked at him, just daring him to say otherwise.
Without warning, Richard rushed forward, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "I-...I'm not frustrated...." He said in a hushed voice as he just held her like she might be taken away at any moment. "I'm....just scared. Lorey I want you to become as strong as you can be yourself alright? Then I'll take care of you. Forever ok? I won let you get too sick. I wont let you get taken away alright?" He whispered furiously through her hair as he choked back tears. It was becoming quite clear that already, Richard was terrified that Lorey would be taken away from him just as abruptly and horridly as he had Rose. He refused to let that happen again. He honestly wasn't sure he could take it.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 6:53 pm
"I..." What hurt the most was that he knew she was right.
"I mean... we know why now. Because you're half Amaranthine. Now I can understand why you were having all those moments..." Which was putting it nicely. Damian did think at at least one point that Raquel was not mentally well, but stood by her anyhow. Didn't that on it's own say that he was frightened, yet at the same time, drawn to her?
His silver eyes couldn't even look at her with that all out in the open as it became painfully obvious that their relationship was not working.
"But I stood by you," he said, acting upon his thoughts as he should have been all along. "I did not just cast you aside. I did not and do not want to lose you..."
Lorey was so taken aback by his fear that tears pricked her own eyes. They didn't spill over, just hung in a mist.
"Whoever said I was going to be taken away?" she said as her arms wrapped around him in a hug. "I won't be going anywhere, just you watch... just you watch, I'll be healthy, and fine, and your Lorey just like always fifty years from now. We'll be old codgers with grandkids yelling at passersby to get off our lawn."
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