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 Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 6:54 pm
I must've scared everyone off with my whining. sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 7:25 pm
Im sorry sryne I was playing on another site, wish I could have made your prom better for ya.
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 7:41 pm
I wish I could have gotten over my petty fears and just had fun. The more I think about it the more I wish I could have done something differently.
I went there to be with my girlfriend and instead sat alone at a table beating myself up inside, building up a jealous rage against everyone she was dancing with... Oh, and I forgot to mention the fact that the people she was dancing with... a few of them really like her and at least one of them she used to like... so that wasn't helping at all either.
scream Make me stop whining. I sound like a little kid.
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 7:50 pm
You don't sound like you're whining to us hun. Just venting to friends. heart Have you ever thought to get checked for a social anxiety or even social phobia disorder? What you described sounds an aweful lot like a panic attack. You may not have symptoms that strong all the time, but if you consistently have problems socializing in a group of people, you might want to consider getting checked out.
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ananda082001 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 7:55 pm
I'm not getting checked out for anything. I've already had enough troubles getting into the National Guard. It's not a big problem, I just get quiet usually. I think it got blown out of proportion that night for a couple of reasons:
The night was supposed to be for and about my girlfriend and I couldn't live up to my expectations.
She was having fun with everyone else and dancing with all the other guys and I just got really jealous over it (damn being a scorpio).
My girlfriend eventually just turned away from me on the dance floor and danced with the other guys that were around, and that just tore into me. That's when I ended up walking away to be alone for the rest of the night.
The night was supposed to be for her, and I wanted to do everything I could to make her happy and make sure she had a great time, and I couldn't even begin to do that. I couldn't do anything but run off to sit along while she danced and had fun with everyone else.
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 7:57 pm
I'm sorry hun. *gives a big hug*
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ananda082001 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 8:01 pm
I feel like such a failure and I now have this memory I have to live with for the rest of my life. It puts me in tears now just thinking about it.
I can never make that night up to her, there's just no way. It will always be embedded in her mind and I can't change that. I've failed, and there's no way to fix it or make it up.
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 8:02 pm
On a brighter note, I'm getting Comcast Internet tomorrow, so I can finally get rid of the dreaded AOL. xd
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ananda082001 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 8:03 pm
YAY!!!!!! woo hooo right on *jumps up and down excitedly for ananda*
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 8:04 pm
Cool. Broadband all the way (and not AOL broadband).
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ananda082001 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 8:06 pm
Sryne I feel like such a failure and I now have this memory I have to live with for the rest of my life. It puts me in tears now just thinking about it. I can never make that night up to her, there's just no way. It will always be embedded in her mind and I can't change that. I've failed, and there's no way to fix it or make it up. You're not a failure. You're human. It hurts to disapoint someone you love, but if she loves you back, she'll understand. Don't beat yourself up about it.
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 8:07 pm
Sryne Cool. Broadband all the way (and not AOL broadband). Yep. I can't wait. AOL is teh suckage. xp
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ananda082001 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 8:08 pm
ananda082001 Sryne I feel like such a failure and I now have this memory I have to live with for the rest of my life. It puts me in tears now just thinking about it. I can never make that night up to her, there's just no way. It will always be embedded in her mind and I can't change that. I've failed, and there's no way to fix it or make it up. You're not a failure. You're human. It hurts to disapoint someone you love, but if she loves you back, she'll understand. Don't beat yourself up about it. I agree, its ok to be scared once and a while
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 8:09 pm
She understands, but that doesn't change anything and I still failed. I can't NOT beat myself up over it. It means too much to me.
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ananda082001 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 8:14 pm
*Considers loosing the demon zombie chinchillas of doom. Changes her mind and just hugs Sryne again* wink
On another bright note, I drove a car for the first time in 10 years today. Not far, only around the parking lot twice. But that's huge progress for me. xd
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