Name: Jeremy Lee Smith
Age: 24
From: New York, New York.
Weight: 287 lbs.
Height: 6'6"
Sex: Sure, why not?
Hair: Yes.
Eyes: Two.
Sense of humor: Lots.
Living Situation: Currently alive.
Length of last relationship: I think she was about 5'10".
Children: Almost. I truthfully believed my now-Ex was carrying my child. Unfortunately that turned out to be the child of a seven foot demon who blackmailed her for sex in exchange for not killing me, and so he could carry on his evil legacy through offspring. (true story)
Religion: Jeritude.
Occupation: When I’m not wrestling, I hunt down those who do wrong to others and punish them accordingly.
Turn ons: Guns and ladders, but maybe not in that order.
Turn Offs: Overweight teenage girls (this one might get me in trouble
wink ), mask wearing Mexicans (I have my reasons), FECES; and long-haired Canadians who steal other people’s girlfriends, especially while their boyfriend was off rehabbing his knee, meanwhile that same FECES gets all the opportunities while
I,
he sits at home plotting
my his revenge.
Scars, birth marks etc: A scar. It will become a symbol.
Best pickup line: The scar will become a symbol and Jer will be that symbol because the physical Jer that you see in front of you will one day die, but the spiritual Jer will never die. I will not die. I will not die. Jer, the Angelic Diablo, will not die." -- (this usually starts working after they have about a half dozen Black Russians).
Special talents or abilities: I’m really good at jumping off really high objects, and I make
this hand gesture A LOT, which I’m surprised to hear pleases the ladies a great deal.
Looking for: I’m looking for a woman* who’s never been to Mexico (I have my reasons) and who would never have anything to do with a lousy Canadian, even if he had long blond hair and carried a strange brief case everywhere he goes. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
*You must wear a thong, answer to the name "Chelsea," and possess the ability to do full somersaults off high places.
Final words: Maybe you're just the MF'er I'm looking for! Let’s hook up. Just you and me, a table for two (that I promise I won’t smash you through) and a quiet evening listening to the many quirky facts about me. (we can talk about you later) VAAAAAAMMMM PIIII-IIIRRRREEE!
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