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*Aimee, glad for a distraction, proclaims.* Wherever the drunk bus shall take us!

*They move out through the hallway and out the door.*

*Aimee puts an arm around Cora and reassures her.* Have no worries. All shall be explained on the ride.

*Luke pretended to hold down a communicator. He spoke through his hand.*

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Our destinations tonight include Plush, Amnesia, Shampoo, and wherever the ******** else we feel like drinking our faces off. Our driver tonight is Designated Dave.

*Max slapped Dave on the back. It sounded like it hurt.* "Yeah, Pledge!!"

*A lot of people could fit in the drunk van, but the laws of physcis could only be bent so far. Melissa volunteered to drive as well, and led others to her car. Luke, Aimee, and Cora all piled into the drunk van.*

"Shotgun," Luke proclaimed.

*Max cursed.* "Sonuvabitch..."

*Max explained.* "Well, Plush is a good starter club. It's 18 and over, got some cheap drinks... Amnesia, you walk in knowing where you are, you walk out not knowing your ******** name." *This earned laughter.* "And Shampoo? Well... let's just say for some, it can end with a nice morning shower."

*Max said further.* "Luke's never told you any of this? How'd you ever get to be a cousin? You suck at it."

*From the front seat, Luke added amid the laughter.* "Ha, ha, ha, ha... Go ******** yourself."

*Luke winked at Cora when he got the chance.* "Give me a little credit. I got you here, didn't I?"

"Right on."

*The van sped down the highway, along the same route Luke had taken before. Destiny's Child belted out "Bootilicious" on the radio, causing the girls to sing and some to dance, as well as one can dance in a drunk van.*

*The van took an exit back into the city and down 30th Street past the Art Museum. Luke kept an eye out, but Allen saw it first.*

"Cut back," he told Dave. He sniffed in the air. "I smell bacon."

*Luke squinted.* "Where?"

*Sure enough, in the distance, two police cars were parked on the side of the road.*

*Luke nodded to Allen.* "Good eye, man."

*Dave slowed down to the suggested 35 miles per hour. The car seemed to crawl past, compared to the speed it had been going before. Going 75 mph with a van that barely passed inspection carrying 7-8 drunk underaged college students just wasn't the best way to keep a low profile.*

"Johnny Law..." Max commented. "There's the piggies."

Someone, Luke thought it was Brian started to go 'oink oink oink.'

*Luke pointed them out for Cora.* "Those are the cops I was telling you about."

*Max snickered as the van passed them.* "God, they suck."

*Luke waved at them as they faded out of sight.* "Have a nice day, officers..."

*Max nodded in complete agreement.* ********' Eh. *He knocked knuckles with Cora, before she even understood what was happening.*

*Luke laughed, but he was laughing for a different reason.*

*Once they parked the drunk van, the frat guys and their female companions piled out of the car. Drunk and laughing, they all entered into Plush, the 18 and over in the middle of Philly.*

*Everyone starts taking out their IDs.*

"Hey!" The guy at the door greeted them. He looked like a Pepsi machine. "The Phi Sigma boys.... How you doin tonight gentlemen?"

"Pretty good now that classes are done," Max told him.

The guy laughed a little. "You're in good company. A bunch of people from UPenn and Penn State got here around an hour ago."

*Luke links his arm around Cora and keeps to the back of the line with her. When they reach the front of the line, Luke smiles at the guy and shakes his hand.* "Hey, Shump."

"Hey, buddy."

*Luke shows his ID for posterity and nods to Cora.* "She's cool," he says. "She's with me."

*Shump looks Cora up and down.*

*Instead of taking offense, Shump laughs and says.* "Yeah, that's cuz every time I bang Luke's mom, she gives me a twinkie."

*Luke pushed Shump's shoulder roughly, but it was expected. Shump didn't push back, and Luke didn't egg him on to. He wasn't that drunk. Besides Luke'd heard worse.* "You don't want to start this here. You know you don't."

"Yeah. Not here. I've got my dignity."

*Luke grinned.* "That's what she said." *Shump stepped up, but Luke stepped back - putting up his hands.* "I'd love to stay and duke this out, but we've gotta get into this club. What do ya say?"

*Shump nodded and look at Cora.* "It's cool, man. Just don't cause me any trouble." *Shump put a yellow band around Luke's wrist as he turned to Cora.* "You're not a trouble maker, are you?"