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What are your thoughts on critiquing?
YES!!!
48%
 48%  [ 47 ]
Eh...
49%
 49%  [ 48 ]
NO!!!
2%
 2%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 97


Onamisaki

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 6:34 pm


[[I went back and re-edited. I didn't mean to do that second post. You'll need to go back and re-read it.]]
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 6:44 pm


[[The post I accidently quoted.]]

Onamisaki


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:05 pm


((LOL Kin was just joking around though it's quite reasonable for Sakeri and Amati to fall for them since his jokes are quite deadly. rofl ))

"Eh?" Kin watched in awe as the two merged into one being. He did not quite expect that to happen, "But I guess it makes it more interesting." With a humored smile, he positioned himself above the newly formed lone girl, and wrapped his arms around his waist. The parachute opened up, and drastically slowed down the fall, but it was all too early and they began swinging in the atmosphere. In mere seconds, sharp winds tore through the fabric and once again they began to fall. "YAAAAHAHAHA!!!" Kin screamed with delight, not a shred of fear within his somewhat ghostly self.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:14 pm


His refusal to answer calls over the radio from ATC made the Washington people very angry. Several interceptors, clearly invisibly armed with guided missiles, ((here I mean F-22 Raptors)) flanked his aircraft now, yells from them becoming more and more threatening. He couldn't ignore them anymore.

"Don't bother. I am not going to speak with Air Traffic Control, and I am going to land, so you must clear runways." The fighters took poorly to this message. One pulled onto his tail. "Oh. Well, if that's the way it must be..." The tiny jet rolled over, went into a hard dive. He needed to get out of the plane. Fast. He could jump, but that wouldn't be good from where he was. If he could get slow and low, it would be next to effortless.

Somehow he managed to predict the fighter's maneuvers, staying out of their firing zone, maneuvering hard enough to prevent them from firing. Blood wasn't a problem; his heart could pump more blood than theirs. He cut back on throttle only a few hundred feet above, maneuvering hard to lose airspeed, waiting until he had an opportunity to jump. He was where he wanted to be, just over the five-sided government building. Aiming for a nearby river, he dove towards it, pointedly avoiding the bridge nearby. A missile ripped towards the Learjet. Mark punched out a windscreen panel, crawled out, and jumped towards the river. His calculations told him he would make it. Two splashes burst into the river, one great, one small.

SirBayer


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:30 pm


Ryn stared as the two beings shot out of the portal in the sky, before whipping around and saying to Nendir and Izzy,"Run. Get to the Pentagon, and get inside. Explain the situation as fast as possible, and arm yourselves. Ill take care of those two, so you can prepare for the others."

He spun away, not giving the two a chance to reply, before spreading his huge wings wide, and launching skywards. Suddenly he heard a great splash, as something hit a nearby river. He glanced at it, before continuing, and putting himself directly between the two falling beings, and the Pentagon, prepared to catch them in his claw tipped hands.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:10 pm


[[GAH! gonk How will we survive?!?!?!?!?!?!]]

Her eyes were shut tight, bracing herself for the fall.

I'm here, Sake," he whispered. I'll always be here. The wind blasted past her, whipping her clothes in every which way. The sound of falling wind was almost deafening to her ears.

Suddenly, a pair of arms braced themselves around her, and a sudden jerk rippled through her body, knocking the air out of her body. She gasped for air, but a sense of security overcame her. It didn't take long for the wind to grow even rougher, throwing her and Kin right and left, before it tore wide open. The wind began to rush past her again and now... she wasn't ready. That moment of security turned into pure despair so, she couldn't even hear the desperate cries of her closest friend.

The parachute had luckily slowed their descent, but she began to pick up speed quickly, once more. She looked down at the green field, the adrenaline pumping through her veins. She quickly spotted a lone figure down below, taking quick notice of his wings and defensive stance.

Why? she asked herself, eyes closing. We're going to die anyway.


[[That was poop... >.> But, I will try my best to be consistent.]]

Onamisaki


SirBayer

PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:29 pm


Slowly Mark dragged himself out of the river onto the bank. Cars were beginning to stop. This was attention he wanted to avoid; he could already see the fighter aircraft circling around again to check they'd done their job; they'd probably lob a few cannon rounds into the water for safety's sake. Mark needed to disappear away, so he slid back into the water, only emerging when he came to the safety of underneath the bridge. Entirely soaked, he climbed up one of the supports on the inside, avoiding attention, then crawled into its underbelly of maintainance ((sp?)) catwalks. He'd wait for a bit, come out topside, and move towards the Pentagon. Whatever was going to go down was going to happen soon, and he wanted to be there before it could happen. That was what was important. He'd be there when things hit the fan...
PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 4:06 pm


Craig was sitting in a cafe near the pentagon, most people saw the stillness he acts in as a street performance. He didn't need to eat, but sleep was vital. Upon receiving the message he looked up to the sky, nodded, and walked in a straight line towards the building, well, kind of. He walked the streets normally, but he didn't care who of the worthless humans he knocked down. He didn't wait for a cross walk either, cars would stop and sound their horn, but Craig didn't care, for they were worthless.

He walked to the pentagon, but noticed the demons coming forth, he acted normal and walked, eventually he would reach there, and then destruction would rain supreme...

pittbull_mike


TanManDown

PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 4:39 pm


Engineering, while something Amadeus greatly enjoyed, was very unforgiving when it came to making a decision between weekend partying and studying. Not that Amadeus was one for partying, anyway. The only kind of “partying” he ever did was spend a few hours at a bar with some of his friends and listen to them chat and laugh. Listen being the operative word there, since he never contributed to the conversation much. His friends stopped trying to get him to talk long ago. The army, however, was easily able to succeed where his friends had failed.

Almost immediately after enlisting in the National Guard, Amadeus quickly learned that being quiet is never a good idea, especially when your Commanding Officer (or anyone else of a higher rank) directly addresses you. That lesson was swiftly and painfully brought home on the first day of training, when he made the mistake of ignoring the Drill Sergeant. No food for an entire day tends to break someone’s bad habits relatively quickly. After that, Amadeus learned to speak concisely and in a clipped tone when addressed by ranking officers. To just about anyone else, he remained silent.

That was several years ago, however, and now Amadeus was back in college to receive his Master’s degree in Mechanical Engineering. He, of course, reported for maintenance and drilling when required, but he was never required to answer the call for active duty. He didn’t mind… it gave him more time to work on his Engineering degree.

The phone suddenly rang. Amadeus always let it go to answering machine so he would know who was calling.

“You’ve reached Amadeus Romanovitch. Please leave a message at the tone.”

A short message followed. “Mr. Romanovitch, you are required to report to your Commanding Officer ASAP.”

The caller didn’t say he was from the National Guard, but he didn’t need to. That was always how they called Amadeus to let him know he needed to report for drilling. He sighed and got up from his work. Grabbing his pack, he headed out for the Main Office of the National Guard. His uniform and rifle were in a locker there. He would get dressed and report.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 7:08 pm


Siouxsie walked around a small town in Pennsylvania swinging her sword to and fro looking around at the empty streets. Smiling to herself as she watched the sun hit her blade. "Oh this is no fun, right when I want to be entertained no one is around." She sighed and in one quick move she twirled and sheathed her sword. Walking into the middle of the road she plopped down on the ground with an exasperated sigh laying on her back looking up at the sky. Moving her hand towards the sky she traced designs into the sky above her with embers shooting from her fingertips down to her ember ridden cheeks.

Ms. Black eyeliner

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 8:50 pm


((Don't worry. I'm just making us a flashy entrance.))

Kin screamed on the top of his lungs like he was riding the wildest roller coaster ever, his very skin almost seemingly tearing off of his body. He spotted off a winged being, completely shrouded in darkness from head to claws, standing right below them, and shrieked with excitement. They were falling pretty quickly, over a thousand feet in one seconds, and only 800 feet the next few, faster and faster until they reached somewhat of a constant velocity. They glowed bright red with streaks of yellow and orange swirliung around them, looking like a shooting star in broad daylight. Sharp winds accompannied them as they went down, revolving around them faster and faster like a tornado. It all happened so fast, but in the last moment, Kin shifted appearance, growing larger into a sort of dark scaly figure and sprouting white feathery wings that shone brightly. His wings flapped once, just when they were right above the deffender on guard, and BOOM! There was a massive explosion, too massive in normal essense, at least two fifths that strong of a nuclear blast out of particularly nothing, out of what seemed like an odd falling star from the great blue dome of the sky. In an instant, all thaqt green grass beside the large Pentagon Building was obliterated into a large crator of pulverized rock and dirt, while a great plum of dust rose up into the sky and spread in a 5 km radius, and the pentagon itself was half destroyed. At the center of the explosion was swirling dust that whirled like fire in a sandstorm, surrounded by hot burning dirt that could easily suffacate a small child. The storm of dust dispersed, and as things turned turned clearer, one large figure emerged. A tall being armored with shiny black scales floated upside down, the tip of his hair only inches from the bottom of the newly made crater. His wihite feathery wings were in full span, extending into a wide 14 feet, and his back was facing the stranger, with only the blue strands of hair of the other purifier seen floating behind him, stretching around. A flap of his wings, and he rotated right side up, holding lthe girl by the waist, and finally setting his foot down, and gently letting go of her. "Wasn't that fun, Saki?" he leaned over to take a look at her face's expression, and placing his hands upon her shoulders. He giggled softly on his own in an innocent yet disturbing way. His physical features looked like a mirror image of the being before them, except for his white feathery wings, his own unique face, and his unchanging strikingly contrasting eyes, that kept complete and utter watch of everything around him down to every single being's heart.

((Ryn, you could try jumping to dodge the explosion, or you'd be squashed in the center. Also, I rolled, counting the explosiuon as an attack.))
PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 10:38 pm


HP:35

At the last second before the blast, Ryn shot upwards, the blast ripping through the air, and knocking him to the ground. Growling, he crawled out of the edge of the crater, behind the large being who had caused the explosion, and slowly moved towards him, his seared wings leaking blood.

"Purifier...", He hissed, his claws clicking, as he slowly drew his sword, and walked towards the being, all of his sharp teeth showing in his scowl.

Sauronbane

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06 General Archives (non-RP inactive threads)

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