Harls
"Can't sleep, clowns will eat me, can't sleep, clowns will eat me, can't sleep, clowns will eat me, can't sleep, clowns will eat me, can't sleep, clowns will eat me..."
-T-shirt
ack! Where!?!?
stare I hate clows...
[note: not mine]
-It's better to die on you'r feet than live on you'r knees.
-Don't ever take a fence down until' you know why it was put up.
-You don't make ab's in the gym, you make them in the kitchen.
-Time fly's when you'r having fun, hot dogs fly when you squeeze the bun. (
whee )
-Where there's a will, I hope my names on it! (definetly!)
-Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
-A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. (cracks me up.)
-Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?!
-A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
-I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
-I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. (dang).
-He who laughs last, didn't get it.
-Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million, but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
-It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
-Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-I am at two with nature.
-I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
-If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. (haha. yeeaaahhh....)
-Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
-My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
-Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
-Nothing worth knowing can be understood.
-Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
-Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
-To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad. (stupid clowns *shivers*)
-If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness.
-I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
-He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.
-Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
-I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
-It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.
-Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books. (books rock my socks!).
-I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid. (It's happened...sorta).
-When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I think a good way to get out of it is just to say, 'No speaka English.'
-One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me if the equator was a real line that went around the Earth, or just an imaginary one. I had to laugh. Laugh and laugh. Because I didn't know, and I thought that maybe by laughing he would forget what he asked me. (That's happened to me, just not with the same subject
sweatdrop ).
-Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
-Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your children. (Watch out mom! I'm comming!)
-If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the 'up' button.
-Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it. (YES!!).
Okay, I'll stop.... for now. Enjoy!
blaugh
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