Welcome to Gaia! ::

I think trillian is keeping me signed.knot something. Sorry austinpants is having a bad day, but if anyone can make him feel better I know you can.

And kitty, my apartment is all messy again. sad haaaaalp

And I drew a bit last.night but uhaul thing is being difficult. Mostly been drawing some charriez from their photographs. Gonna venture into your threads guys and.draw them too. Even if its the same.as.the.photo it's.nice to have. Got an actual.sketchbook too. Gonna go pay phone todayyyyyyyyy. Im hungry though and the university food.inthis.small.cafe.is.not.good.and.expensive. wrawr silly period button.

NU I DREW INSTEAD HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. But these ******** scanners won't work. Goddamn 'scanner not hooked to printer blah blah blah' WELL HOW THE ******** DOES IT TURN ONNNNN.

Its plugged in. but the green 'go/on' button is not working. xP Have to go to the library instead methinks.

WORK TODAY EWWWW. Butttt not so bad.

ALSO HAT YOU GUYS. SUCH A HAT OF SUCH BEAUTY OH MY GOD I WILL WEAR IT FOREVER AN DLOVE IT AND BE LIKE THAT KID IN WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE YOU SHALL SEE.

Ooooh free day. If only I was fee as.well, the mischief we would get up to.

POKEMON WAS DISSAPOINTING.

Because I haven't got the time to roll in them or really look at.theme or organize them in my binder or organize them in general. D: I got the two cards NNY wanted/needed.though and.that.makes me happy because.........

I CAN FLAUNT THEM AND TAUNT YOU NNY. NAHNAHNAHNAH. XP

I can't help butnkeep.thinking.of.the.brown fox.hat I left in the shop. At first I didn't like it be wise the hat was tan and the fox more brown.

I bought the small grey fox.hat.that.doesn't quite.fit. I somehow felt as is I had to. He custom hat wasn't built.right. I was expecting one just like the.small hat, grey e thich braids on the ear flaps but.longer. instead its.this.mix of the brown and small hat. Void red fox.on tan with short.braids.even thoug I askedfor.long. one eye is a bit higher than the over but that's cuz the fox.face part was. Sewn on at a bit of a tilt. It looks off kilted but I fell in love with it today. And now I keep thinking of therapy and.our discussion omg head voices. The small child. The.bitter bully preteen. The older logical teen. The tiny hat needs to be pulled down and dowlesnt quite.fit or.cover my ears. The lopsided hat has the.elementsi like but wasn't.made quite.rift. he brown hat I cosmoses initially but with the custom tan hat I warmed up to the idea out. The braids of the brown hat are long and thick. Its he perfect.thing I didn't even know I wanted.

And I keep binkinhat if I get the.brown hat to and always take hem all with me I can control all the.voices.by just switching hats. Or have me time by takinhem all off and enjoyinjust beinmyself without them for a.but.

Kind of like a.talking.stick but better. And the more I hunk of it, the more.I want.the.brown hat. Maybe im forcing he.asso iation or its coincidence but.i've three.hats.are.my here.voices. given form, maybe it can help or we can help each other. Dunno.gonna visit the hat tomorrow if its.still there.

Such a practical fox.it.is. unassuming.

LOL, Lor, I think our kiddo Dylan friended you xd

D: I want to be dylans friend. No fair nny.

Jesus, this morning was so irritating. I understand now why my sister in law can't get s**t done even when she's not all bleh on pills. She wanted to go to Wal-Mart after we dropped Dylan off at school, so I took her up there.

First she had to get the four different eye drops their eye doctor wanted them to have. She had coupons for all of it, but even with the coupons it was cheaper just to get the off brand equivalent, but that wasn't good enough. She looked at every friggin' box on that aisle at least twice before I finally found and picked up the cheapest of each thing she needed and explained to her the minor differences in ingredients. Which that in and of itself is pretty ******** retarded because I know for a fact she didn't know what any of the s**t in the drops was. And she doesn't know how to ******** Google anything on the computer, let alone her phone so it's kind of asinine to compare ingredients if you have no clue what the benefits and negatives of them are in the first place.

Then she wanted to go buy Dylan clothes because she won't let him wear anything to school with the knees ripped out and no jeans that look like they were dirt washed. So she picks out four pairs of jeans then starts looking at shirts. It amazes me how out of social norms parents can be. Quite frankly the stuff she was picking out was "dorky and uncool" even for a nine year old. It was making me cringe, but after half an hour of looking at shirts she just decided to take him up there at another point and let him decide.

So that'll just be another argument of him picking what he wants in like two minutes and her trying to persuade him with something hideous. She tried that with his glasses the other day. Dyl got these spiffy plain black emo frames and his mom wanted him to get these nerdy a** blue wire frames with no framing on the bottom and one of those granny strap things that allow you to have your glasses hanging around her neck.

Are people of her generation all that out of the loop, or what? ******** she had to go grocery shopping and buy a bunch of s**t they didn't need. Their freezer and cabinets are stuffed to the brim. It pisses me off that they have so much, yet it's all just going to sit there until it expires because my brother isn't home, she doesn't eat and Dyl eats over at my house 9 out of 10.

Got that done and then she went back to the eye doctors to ask about her contacts. That took like half a friggin' hour and then when we were almost done she had to ask them something else so we had to go BACK into the store again. -_-

I got back home around 11:30ish. I had left at 7:15 to take Naz to work, got back here at 8:00, went over there, left at 8:40 to take Dyl to school and then was sucked into Wal-Mart for the remainder of that time.

She's not all there in the head anymore. Like I can tell because she buys all this stuff like she needs it, like they don't have it or she's forgotten, then she'll price check s**t and compare it three times and ask the same questions to whoever is with her. I had to finally tell her she already compared the two and had settled on the same thing she had in her hands like four times just this morning.

It's all very frustrating and kind of depressing. At one point I really got along with her and had a friend in her like 11 years ago, but she's just so ******** up and mean most of the time now.

However, I did learn something that was pretty mortifying today and I'ma just let Naz read it from here when she sits down from work today.

I'll put it in white because it's TMI stuff, but...

And I quote:

"Dylan came home the other day and said 'Mom! There was a fake pee pee on Jess's desk at Kathy's house! Why does she have that? What is it for??"

> _ <;;;;

When my co-worker David died, a lot of my friends offered to bring me to his funeral, but I couldn't handle it emotionally, so I didn't go. If you don't want to attend a funeral, Cassy, don't try to force yourself. Send them a card with something you valued about him to show that you do indeed acknowledge the loss if you feel obligated, but don't put yourself in an emotional corner you don't want to go in.

I'm sorry, sweetheart. =/